gluttonForPunishment Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I don't know what to do. My ex has put me through the emotional ringer. I need to break free, but have trouble going NC because we have kids.(they live with me) If I go NC then I am an ******* and all sorts of drama starts. If I am nice she starts to try to get stuff out of me. Even goes as far as to lead me on. Telling me she still finds me attractive. At times she makes me believe it. But in my heart I know she doesn't love me and that I can't listen to that crap. If I ever say no to a request from her then I am a complete dirt bag and she argues non stop. If I say yes to anything then she is nice, but doesn't stop asking for stuff. This woman is killing me and I don't know how to act towards her. I see a lot of great stuff on this forum, but I don't see anything about having no contact with someone you have kids with. PLEASE HELP!!! I am dying inside cuz I still love this woman, but I know she doesn't really love me, and I don't want to be played anymore.
january2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 You can't go full NC but you can go LC. Unless court-ordered, focus on communication about the kids and shared finances - polite and professional. You don't have to respond to emotional blackmail and manipulation. Unfortunately, until your feelings for her subside, she's always going to have an 'in' to get what she wants out of you.
Author gluttonForPunishment Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Yeah, and I really hate the fact that she has that "in" with me. I hate that I still care for her.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Treat her like your little sister. Like shes adorable and pathetic at the same time. Treat her like you could care less what she says or does, because you already have someone that blows her away. Someone once said here you cant flirt in a vacuum, so be cold and short. If she argues, thats when you have to stand your ground and put her in her place. You dont argue with her about what she wants to argue about, you say something that shuts her up. Dont raise your voice, dont let her know that she gets you emotional. She will try to hit you where it hurts with words, you will have to do the same, but do not let her draw you into her argument. Anything she says, dismiss it, and hit her with something totally out of left field.
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