dave22 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I am just trying to figure out why my last relationship ended. We had really good chemistry, I was always so happy to see her (she said the same about me), we could never stay mad at each other for long at all (and I know she can get upset very easily), even now I still feel no animosity towards her and she still acts like she cares about me. Sex as great. There were other elements, too. We shared many of the same values, we could always find things to do together. I found her very physically attractive, I know I was her "type" when it came to looks as well (that was made her interested in me in the first place. But we were not a perfect match. We tended to spend too much time together and not get a lot done, we are both a little too insecure (which maybe aprtly explains why we counted on each other so much for our happiness), she was very sensitive to social cues (too much, I think), while I tended to say the wrong things sometimes (things I didn't mean). It made me start to agree with everything she said and she would tell me to be more honest about what I thought. She also tried to encourage me to work towards my dreams more rather than settling and to be more ambitious (things which I agree with, I know I have become much more complacent than I used to be and have wanted to change that for a while now). She said I sometimes had too much of a negative attitude towards what I could be doing. I believed she was too sensitive towards criticism and didn't believe in herself enough (although I could see that changing at the end). Anyways, I am wondering, can really good chemistry overcome a relationship that is not perfectly matched? Or was she right in that she was worried about it working in the long run.
Desensitized Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 This sounds like one of my relationships I was in. We had good chemistry, but the relationship wasn't meant to last. Got along great, we both made each other laugh, same humor, etc. But, we were different on different levels. It's just we chose not to bring those differences up. Honestly, try to find a relationship that isn't flawed and where you both have good chemistry.
rafallus Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Anyways, I am wondering, can really good chemistry overcome a relationship that is not perfectly matched? Or was she right in that she was worried about it working in the long run. In the long run, no, you can't overcome it with chemistry. In fact, whenever after I found some fundamental difference or some flagrant flaw in other one's personality, chemistry took a beating and went down the drain.
carhill Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 IME, incompatibility always trumps chemistry. Whether or not the R/M 'lasts' under such conflict depends on the health of the individuals. Some can go on for decades.
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