Silly_Girl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Quote: Originally Posted by country_gurl People who cheat or who get involved with those who are married ARE trash, IMO....and the only people who would defend them are those who participate in this deceitful lifestyle. One should be ashamed for getting involved with someone else's SPOUSE and then coming here to whine about how tough things are, how their MM/MW lies to them, won't leave their spouse, doesn't keep their promises, bla bla bla. You made your bed, now lie in it. Skywriter said, "Now there's the point , for my ironic statement." But cg had every right to say that, you or I might not like it, might not agree with it, but just as long as someone doesn't break tos, she has that right. LS isn't protected/private but there are places that are so why try to change something that isn't yours or mine to change? That is what I have difficulty understanding. LS is public, non protected, not inclusive to certain groups. Someone else calls the shots, not the posters and when threads like this get started, I wonder what is the real purpose. I find CG's voicing of opinion offensive, due to the context. She is MORE than welcome to hold and share that view. But on a SUPPORT forum for AP's? No, I'd argue calling OW/OM 'trash' to be unnecessary and counter-productive. There are other forums/boards where it would not be offensive. Am I wrong in thinking that disapproval of AP's could be conveyed without resorting to insults? e.g. In a 'civil' manner?
skywriter Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I find CG's voicing of opinion offensive, due to the context. She is MORE than welcome to hold and share that view. But on a SUPPORT forum for AP's? No, I'd argue calling OW/OM 'trash' to be unnecessary and counter-productive. There are other forums/boards where it would not be offensive. Am I wrong in thinking that disapproval of AP's could be conveyed without resorting to insults? e.g. In a 'civil' manner? I can't imagine going to the infedelity thread and saying something hurtful,for no reason other than feeling that I had the right to. Calling someone "trash", and then saying, I had every right to? What?
Silly_Girl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I can't imagine going to the infedelity thread and saying something hurtful,for no reason other than feeling that I had the right to. Calling someone "trash", and then saying, I had every right to? What? No, you make a really good point.
Silly_Girl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Personally I would never call someone trash either, but we aren't the LS police which is my point. You wouldn't do it but you'll defend the right of others to do so?
skywriter Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 You know, I came here at a time when I was in alot of pain. Pain that was to some extent brought on by some of my own very poor choices. I was torn in alot of different directions. Knowing that I had participated in helping a man be decietful towards his W. It was a burden that I never wanted to carry. I can't say that I've learned alot here at LS, because it seems threads get off course with alot of various opinions and subjects, because they can. I think what I have learned is that I'm not the only person to go through this and maybe that's what keeps me hanging around.
Circular Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 It's interesting, because when I see CG's posts and I read the word "Trash" and I see her very extreme polarized points of view I immediately equate it to the a level of deep rooted pain she associates with her own experiences. Now, I don't know CG's background and if she's been betrayed, or it was someone in her family, or she has deep religious convictions but I have no doubt there is a story behind it. The challenge is, do you take it personally? Or do you see it for what it really is?
Silly_Girl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I defend the right of posters to not be policed by other members, that is the mod/owners job not yours or mine. You'll defend the right of CG to come here and call posters 'trash'?
woinlove Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) I don't like to be called trash. I also don't like to be told I have deaf ears, a one-track mind, and am immature. As far as I can tell, so far on this thread, I (and many others) have been called/told both of these since I have been an OW and I did explicitly disagree with SMO on who was being uncivil in the exchange which stimulated this whole thread. If either the trash or deaf ears/one-track mind/immature statements were meant to be more targeted than they appear to be, country_gurl and skywriter can enlighten us if they wish as to who the intended targets are. Or not. I can take name-calling and putdowns and suspect most people can, even if we prefer not to. Edited September 23, 2011 by woinlove
MissBee Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I defend the right of posters to not be policed by other members, that is the mod/owners job not yours or mine. Ditto. If someone is being insulted, in my eyes, I will speak up about that individual case, when I see it occur, in the thread in which it is occurring , addressing the individual who made the insult. However, I will not crusade the boards with a manifesto on how I think other people should post and make a general decree about my ideas of what should be the rules of conduct on here. It's one thing for me to say such and such, that was rude versus "People on LS need to stop doing this and start doing this...I think this board is for this and not that....more people should start doing x and not y...here are my ideas about how LS members should act...I think this is insulting so I think no one should be allowed to do it ever, here's a list of things I have put forth that should not be said..." Like I said, I am ambitious, but I also pick my battles and the latter is a losing one
skywriter Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I said, it will fall on deaf ears, one track minds and immature people. I never said it directly to anyone. I never said, I think "All". Suprisingly, though, my point was proven ever so quickly.
woinlove Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I said, it will fall on deaf ears, one track minds and immature people. I never said it directly to anyone. I never said, I think "All". Suprisingly, though, my point was proven ever so quickly. No, you never said all and I never implied you did. It was left open as to whether you thought that of anyone who disagreed with the OP or some more specific group. I don't find it surprising that once one person issues a sweeping put down of other posters, that someone else will follow.
MissBee Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I don't like to be called trash. I also don't like to be told I have deaf ears, a one-track mind, and am immature. As far as I can tell, so far on this thread, I (and many others) have been called/told both of these since I have been an OW and I did explicitly disagree with SMO on who was being uncivil in the exchange which stimulated this whole thread. If either the trash or deaf ears/one-track mind/immature statements were meant to be more targeted than they appear to be, country_gurl and skywriter can enlighten us if they wish as to who the intended targets are. Or not. I can take name-calling and putdowns and suspect most people can, even if we prefer not to. Ditto... It's not that serious... I do worry how the uber sensitive manage to exist in the real word much less conduct an affair when it seems like just about every appearance of an "insult" bothers them to the core. Those who nitpick are usually NEVER satisfied...sometimes they complain until they even start complaining about their own solutions So what do do? Someone has to have the final say....which is in this case: following the TOS and keeping it pushing as engaging in nitpickery has no end.
carhill Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Considering that Tony tendered his resignation today, this is a timely topic and I'm sure one which will be addressed soon. IME, clear and consistent moderation is healthy to overall forum dynamics. We'll see how it goes.
GorillaTheater Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 What are you amoral going-straight-to-hell-on-a-greased-rocket-sled dames griping about now?
carhill Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Nice try, but you're too nice of a guy to be believed
GorillaTheater Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Nice try, but you're too nice of a guy to be believed Damn it. Maybe if I made a mean face.
skywriter Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I don't like to be called trash. I also don't like to be told I have deaf ears, a one-track mind, and am immature. As far as I can tell, so far on this thread, I (and many others) have been called/told both of these since I have been an OW and I did explicitly disagree with SMO on who was being uncivil in the exchange which stimulated this whole thread. If either the trash or deaf ears/one-track mind/immature statements were meant to be more targeted than they appear to be, country_gurl and skywriter can enlighten us if they wish as to who the intended targets are. Or not. I can take name-calling and putdowns and suspect most people can, even if we prefer not to. Woeinlove, I apologize if my thread was offensive or any others.
eleanor01 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 "The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner." How is calling somebody "trash" support? This topic has been addressed before and it would appear that those who believe that OW/OM are fair game win out. Sometimes I wonder if the description of this forum is a way to lure unsuspecting people in here so as to provide target practice for others. It's cruel and it's uncalled for in any situation. Best, Ellie
pureinheart Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Thank You for posting that SMO. It's unfortunant that it will fall on deaf ears, one track minds, and immature people, that feel the need to post anyway. The IRONY!!! On a thread about civility and you post that. LOL A little late in this thread, although what SW said is the truth completely. I can't tell you how many times I've read in the Infidelity section "to stay out", "this is for BS's, you have your own board". That is what I see as "irony". Actually what SW said is not said enough and I agree, thank you SMO.
Silly_Girl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 That is NOT what I said. I don't know how to make it clearer for you. I don't call people trash and I don't like it when someone else does but LS is not my board. You didn't say you would. You didn't say you wouldn't. Forgive me for not seeing a clear answer.
Silly_Girl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 "The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner." How is calling somebody "trash" support? This topic has been addressed before and it would appear that those who believe that OW/OM are fair game win out. Sometimes I wonder if the description of this forum is a way to lure unsuspecting people in here so as to provide target practice for others. It's cruel and it's uncalled for in any situation. Best, Ellie Your post made me laugh out loud! Then I realised I'd laughed because I felt it to be close to the truth. Then it's bittersweet because it ought not feel that way - to anyone - in my view
skywriter Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Woeinlove, I apologize if my thread was offensive or any others. Got in a hurry, anyway, I was apologizing to you and any others if I offended you.
Silly_Girl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 A little late in this thread, although what SW said is the truth completely. I can't tell you how many times I've read in the Infidelity section "to stay out", "this is for BS's, you have your own board". That is what I see as "irony". Actually what SW said is not said enough and I agree, thank you SMO. That's a really good point. I've seen that too. I'm not against BSs posting in an AP forum, I just think it's important to bear in mind it IS an AP forum and those that do so do a wonderful job of interacting here and are really appreciated.
pureinheart Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 What are you amoral going-straight-to-hell-on-a-greased-rocket-sled dames griping about now? GT, what are we gonna do with you?
GorillaTheater Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 GT, what are we gonna do with you? I have some great ideas, but I'd hate for Tony's last official act to be banning my ass for all eternity. Friday afternoons just seem to have this way of prodding me into looking for trouble.
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