Buttercup84 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I had a second date today , will be my last one . He was nice , we talked for a long time but he never asked me any questions . Kinda a turn off , showing no interest . We hugged goodbye , I didn't feel a spark . Plus he wants to go to Europe next year , and if we were to become a couple , that would break us up . I guess I could just be friends . I want to be single but this sucks , I'm not used to being single anymore . I need more single friends I guess. sigh .
Lucio Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 hey buttercup. u went on a date with him? what qns were u expecting? just want a reference.. u know, i'm meeting her soon. oh. btw. is it a new him or the same old him?
Author Buttercup84 Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Yeah , new guy. are you meeting an ex or new girl ? Just ask her about her work , what she does for fun . Just be interested in her and let's say if she likes painting , ask her who her favourite painter is . The guy was nice but I did all the asking , so he knows hardly anything about me . Good luck !
M2155 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 It's ok. Keep kissing (hugging) the frogs. The guy I last went out said he had been in a relationship for 7 years and it had taken him the entire year to "learn" to be single. Just when we figure it out, we'll meet someone special:cool: Ahh...life!
Author Buttercup84 Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Thank you M , Hope so ! How do you meet guys ?
M2155 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 NOT VERY WELL!! :-) Two through dating site, one through mutual facebook friends and I have one a friend wants me to meet- these will probably be all my options for the next six months LOL. I told all my friends I was on the market if they happen to meet someone eligible. But hopefully in the end it will just be some start-crossed fate with some random guy I meet on an elevator or something:love:
ken_25 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Buttercup, I've read a lot of your posts, and it's clear you are not ready to date. Why do you continue to do so? Even if you really liked the person and he showed strong interest in you, it isn't fair to him because you do not seem at all ready.
M2155 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I don't think there is anything wrong with dating. Going out on a date to get to know someone you don't know is different than getting emotionally involved with them. There are plenty of people that enjoy casual dating as long as you don't lead them on. The objective of date #1 should be do I even want to hang out with you again. Going on date #1 and spending the whole time talking about your ex...well, that would be different. Then yes, you're not ready! But if you don't TRY at some point to meet new people and get your mind off your ex, your mind is definitely going to stay on your ex! For me, I haven't met anyone I liked, but it's been helpful to know there are other fish in the sea, and that you can still get someone to go out with you lol. Just enjoy meeting people. Don't throw out expectations until you are ready for more.
ken_25 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Yes, but for some going out on a date just causes them to regress. They think about their ex even more. So for people who are at least somewhat ready, it's nice to get out and date and see for yourself there's other people you can become interested in, but thats only one possible positive, there are also many negatives that can result when the person isn't ready. I don't want to see buttercup get hurt or regress at all. going on dates, seeing what's out there is probably not the greatest idea for her in her current state. I know I'm in that boat, but hey, if she wants to go out and date then fine, I'll try and support her if she needs it. Yes you do have to eventually TRY, but it doesn't mean she needs to try right now. But a couple weeks back i believe I read her post saying she's not interested in men, it's her ex or nothing, it hurts, and that she just isn't ready. I'm just trying to look out for her best interest.
ken_25 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 And yes, meeting new people is a great idea and it does help get the mind off the ex, but, for someone like me (10 weeks out of the break up) it should be other female or male FRIENDS. Not going on casual dates with people who are probably interested in more. Just my opinion.
M2155 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I agree with you Ken. As I get older, I have learned to expect less of a first date. I used to hope he's all these things and now I realize, it's just a date. I never have to see this person again. I'm still TERRIBLE at it because I want it to turn out to be something and I'm really very picky, but I am trying to learn not to sweat it so much. It's just practice for the real thing
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