LadyWriter Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I've read a couple (John Gray, Dr. Phil) and so have a few of my girlfriends and my mother. IMO they're more geared toward women, but have any of you men taken an interest in them? If so, what was your opinion on this so-called "helpful" advise? Ladies feel free to comment too
Voldar Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Honestly, nope. I don't really read in the first place, but a book about relationships doesn't intrigue me as much as seeing many view points in a place like this or from friends and family.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I have something called "The Shy Dater." I have thought about reading this, to ease into relationships (as a shy man.)
Voldar Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I have something called "The Shy Dater." I have thought about reading this, to ease into relationships (as a shy man.) Sad that I am already intrigued after I said I had no interest in books.
thatone Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I've read a couple (John Gray, Dr. Phil) and so have a few of my girlfriends and my mother. IMO they're more geared toward women, but have any of you men taken an interest in them? If so, what was your opinion on this so-called "helpful" advise? Ladies feel free to comment too nope. in fact i have a general disdain for all 'self help' books, and haven't ever read one. if someone is telling you what to do it's not really 'self help' is it?
madjac74 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 nope. in fact i have a general disdain for all 'self help' books, and haven't ever read one. if someone is telling you what to do it's not really 'self help' is it? Spoken like a true narcissist
aj22one Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Most of these "men" that post in here... Don't strike me as the reading type. You do see their threads / posts don't you? I think a majority of the "men" on here are teenagers (or at least I hope so). I'd go ask your question in the married forum. They are going to be older, have actually dated before and ended up marrying. Ha. I read all the time. I'm currently working my way through David Kilcullen's "The Accidental Guerrilla" a good read about Afghanistan and U.S. foreign policy. I highly recommend it. And for the record I'm 24. I don't think any teenagers post in here. I think most of the men on LS are actually men, I don't see much evidence to the contrary (other than the fact that this is the internet).
thatone Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Spoken like a true narcissist hah is there some psychoanalysis in the fact that what i'm reading right now is stephen colbert's "I Am America (and so can you)"?
quietGuy13 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Ha. I read all the time. I'm currently working my way through David Kilcullen's "The Accidental Guerrilla" a good read about Afghanistan and U.S. foreign policy. I highly recommend it. And for the record I'm 24. I don't think any teenagers post in here. I think most of the men on LS are actually men, I don't see much evidence to the contrary (other than the fact that this is the internet). I'm what you call a "KID MAN". Body of an old guy, mind of a kid. I SEMI-READ dating books(i never read all the words, just broswe) like Dating for Dummies etc but all these books are intended for guys with game. loud guys. So it never applies tome
JohnP82 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" back in the day after my first relationship/break up. It changed me for the better.
vsmini Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I'm a 28 year old female but let me say that I used to be a huge cynic when it came to self-help books. I guess I was ashamed that I ever though the great and powerful ME needed help from a book. I was being egotistical and stupid. Now I love self-help books (the good ones...and really....which ones are good are completely relative.) My favorite is a great one: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Great even if you aren't married but just in a serious relationship. The author does come off a little arrogant at times but it's nothing too offputting and his studies are amazing. His Love Lab studies were featured on NBC for a few months as well. I'm not married but planning on getting married to my now SO and even he says he's going to pick the book up soon. Everyone is different and likes different things.
oaks Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Most of these "men" that post in here... Don't strike me as the reading type. You do see their threads / posts don't you? I'm laughing, even though I should be calling you out on that generalisation.
vsmini Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I also read why men love b*tches and why men marry b*tches The advice works well if you're dating or in love with an emotionally unavailable guy. So for my ex it was wonderful. But then I realized the games (and yes - most of her advice, though not all of it are complete games) were exhausting and made me realize a healthy realtionship was impossible with him and with my approach. Be careful of these books....you get results but it hurts you in the long run.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I've read a couple (John Gray, Dr. Phil) and so have a few of my girlfriends and my mother. IMO they're more geared toward women, but have any of you men taken an interest in them? If so, what was your opinion on this so-called "helpful" advise? Ladies feel free to comment too I have read a couple of them. They tend to be strongly geared towards women and quite frequently miss the mark substantially when trying to talk to men. I know how most guys think and it isn't as straight forward as some would have you believe. I have lived long enough to get an idea of how women think too... and it really isn't as mysterious as guys are told it is.
laotzu Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 The only relationship book I ever read was when I was in my early twenties, and I bought a pretty expensive and well organized book that detailed the various ways to go down on a girl. I have to say, I think it's served me well...
AHardDaysNight Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I learned to read before I learned to walk. And my favorite store is a bookstore. I just got a kindle, and am excitedly loading all sorts of books on it. Right now, I have 70 books on my kindle. Perhaps you shouldn't generalize? I've noticed that a lot of women who are good with dating don't read...oops, that was a generalization!
Queen Zenobia Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I learned to read before I learned to walk. And my favorite store is a bookstore. I just got a kindle, and am excitedly loading all sorts of books on it. Right now, I have 70 books on my kindle. Perhaps you shouldn't generalize? I've noticed that a lot of women who are good with dating don't read...oops, that was a generalization! Big mistake right there. You should have done what I did and waited for Borders to put their Kobo on sale for their going out of business liquidation. I got mine for 20 bucks works pretty much the same as a Kindle except cheaper As for the OP. I don't have time to read relationship advice books. Between work and finishing my grad school thesis project I do too much reading already I barely have time to post in here
EasyHeart Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Most pop relationship books are worthless and seem to be geared to teaching insecure, psychotic women how to pretend to be normal for a short period of time so they can trick some poor guy into dating them. If you're willing to tackle something more challenging, I think "The Psychology of Romantic Love" and "How to Be an Adult in a Relationship" are worth reading.
oaks Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 These "men" need to stop being momma's boys, watching chick flicks, eality tv and go watch some Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Sean Connery, John Wayne, etc. movies instead. I'm all in favour of this bit. learn that a women wants a man that can and will push her against the wall or throw her down on the dinner table, pull her panties to the side, spit on it and take it from her (in a hot / sexy kind of way), and that bit. Oh, and you forgot "take her down off that pedestal" from your list.
Feelsgoodman Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) I've read a couple (John Gray, Dr. Phil) and so have a few of my girlfriends and my mother. IMO they're more geared toward women, but have any of you men taken an interest in them? If so, what was your opinion on this so-called "helpful" advise? Ladies feel free to comment too I've read excerpts, out of curiosity. IMO, most of the advice in those books is terrible and does more harm than good. You have to remember that people who write these books do it for one reason and one reason only: to make money. Therefore, they usually tell you what you want to hear, so that you would read, agree, recommend the book to your friends, write a positive review on amazon.com, etc. Edited September 23, 2011 by Feelsgoodman
rafallus Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 "Magic Bullets" in part. Excellence. "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus" most, if not all - it was a while ago. Awful.
Author LadyWriter Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 homebrew;3641437]These "men" need to stop being momma's boys, watching chick flicks, eality tv and go watch some Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Sean Connery, John Wayne, etc. movies instead. They need to actually grow a pair, get comfortable in their own skin, be decisive, go for what they want, a man that can cherish, adore, honor and admire a women for her inter and outer beauty, a man with a sense of adventure, take no crap, listens, a man that sees a women more than just a sex object or unattainable, tells it like it is, a women wants you to make love to her but also wants you to pull her hair and spank her a55 too, can admit he is wrong and say I don't know, a man that can be tender and compassionate, a man that has hobbies and interests outside of his women and the relationship, a man that isn't afraid to commit, make a women feel sexy and desired, a man with passion, a man that doesn't take himself to seriously, be a man a women can respect, stop asking for permission, look people in the eyes, be assertive, stop texting and get off fakebook, stand for what they believe in, learn that a women wants a man that can and will push her against the wall or throw her down on the dinner table, pull her panties to the side, spit on it and take it from her (in a hot / sexy kind of way), have values, character and integrity, etc. Exactly! Now where in the world do you find such a man?
Author LadyWriter Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) Double Post Edited September 23, 2011 by LadyWriter Edit
Eddie Edirol Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I read the PUA stuff and found out its practically the opposite of all those other books, and works so much better, even when one isnt looking for one night stands and manipulation. The other books dont do as well with the psychology of dating dynamics. After reading and experience, my posts tend to parallel HomeBrews. Thankfully Im so much happier i read up on this stuff.
grkBoy Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I haven't read any actual PUA books or "how to get women" books. I first read one self-help book called Boomerang Generation by Elina Furman. It was at the time I lost my job and was struggling to the point I ended up moving back home in my early 30s. Dating was a mess and such, and I wanted to find some clarity in wondering if I'm doomed to be single until I move out again. I pretty much found the answer to be "yes". Most decent women I've met would not take me seriously when they have plenty of options out there who owned condos and had solid jobs. The second book was Unhooked Generation by Jillian Strauss. It more went into why Americans are chronically single and unable to find solid RLs. It also changed a lot of my thinking when it came to the women I picked. I still say it's a nice read for many, and I tried to loan my copy to friends whom I see have loads of trouble dating...but they still won't let go of their old standards that keep them single. They play the victim card too much and believe it's not them, it's everyone else.
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