Am I Crazy Or Do Me And My Ex Actually Have A Chance At Reconciling?

[infinity8245]

Hello all,

 

I could use some advice and guidance on a situation with my ex girlfriend. I think I'm thinking pretty logically, but I'm a little too close to the situation and some outside (and if needed, harsh) advice is needed.

 

My ex girlfriend and I broke up about a week and a half ago. We had been together for over 4 years and I was 24 and she was 22 when we broke up, and we lived together. It's quite a complicated situation, but here's the long story short:

 

The last several months were not easy on us. I had been laid off and was unemployed for 5 months, and her father was going through a cancer scare, though he's fine now. Naturally, both of us were having trouble dealing with these issues on a personal level. We made the mistake of solely relying on each other for coping with these issues, which complicated the situation because we were so burdened with our own problems, that it was difficult to shoulder the burdens of the other one. I tried to pretend that I was fine because I wanted to be there for her, but the truth was, I wasn't fine and wasn't able to be there for her like she needed. And she did the same for me.

 

Eventually we got into a rut. We started to grow apart, and got stuck in a self-depressive rut that started to spill over into our relationship. We stopped going out, and spent a lot of time lounging around. At some point, we both started drinking heavily because we were running from our own issues that we didn't want to deal with, and we started to need it to have fun. We started fighting, pretty much exclusively when we were drinking, because we became totally irrational.

 

About a week and a half ago after another fight, she decided it best to split up. We both had too many personal issues that we have repressed and eventually these started to spill over into our relationship. While there was probably a time to fix the issues while staying together, it appears that window has closed. We tried to work on our relationship when we probably should have been working on ourselves. Dealing with our issues and finding personal contentment. But we didn't figure that out until it was too late.

 

I think (we both think) that we are extremely compatible as a couple. Some of our best friends and our family do to. Her family's thoughts are something along the lines of, "it seems like it has less to do with you as a couple, and more to do with your own personal issues and addictions." I think they're right. Before life threw us a curveball, we had an amazing relationship. It was effortless, and we thought we were on track to get married.

 

So here's where we're at now. I moved out and found another place and we have had minimal contact with each other. We both still have hope that we can work our relationship out in the future, but for the time being we need some time apart to gain perspective and work on ourselves. As hard as it is to admit, being apart right now is the right choice for both of us. We are committed to sorting our personal problems out. In the mean time, we will be giving each other space but have decided that in a couple months it would be good to meet up and see where we're at.

 

Am I crazy, or do we actually have a chance to piece this back together? And if so, how should I (we) proceed? Any advice would be helpful on gaining perspective.

[RatsAreCool]

I definitely don't think you're crazy to see potential in the situation. You seem to have it all worked out pretty well and have an accurate view on the situation (as much as I can know that, not having been there).

 

Can you answer my thread please? It's the one that was posted right before yours. Mine is pretty long but I didn't want ot leave anything important out!