MESO Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 My girlfriend and i broke up 3 weeks ago...she called it a break...but its a break up..she says she is confused and doesnt know what she wants...we still see each otehr from time to time and talk almost everyday...but i know she doesnt love me anymore... im trying to tell myself that there is a better girl out there for me because i know that she didnt treat me teh best... BUt i kno in my heart that its hopeless... It took me 3 months of talking online with her just to work up enough courage to go on a date with her...no girl will ever be taht patient for me again..there are absolutley no other females in my life right now and i have no friends to introduce me to people... when we first were together she knew i was shy but for some reason she was patient and i came around...no girl will wait for me...what other girl is willing to wait for me now im hopeless
moimeme Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 This is simply not true. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you and you cannot possibly know what is in your future. It is pointless to think negatively - all it does is ruin your days. Understand that it is illogical to think you can possibly know what will happen in your life. Actually, if you are psychic, then please send me this week's winning lottery numbers. However, you have as much chance of doing that as you do of predicting your future.
dreaming4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Believe me, it's NOT hopeless. I'm a woman but I'm in a similar situation as you. My ex broke up with me a month and a half ago and I was worried that I'm not going to be able to find anyone again because I'm shy too. And he ALSO didn't treat me the best but I was willing to stay in the relationship with him because I knew him so well and finally felt comfortable around him and for me that takes a LONG time. But you know what?? You and I will BOTH find someone out there. There's a lot of nice people in the world (you sound like one of them) that will see that you are a person worth knowing and will take the time to get to know you. If you're really worried about it maybe you should see a doctor, you could have social anxiety disorder...but if you're just shy....try to take steps to overcome it. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm also in the same situation as you where I don't know where to meet new people though. It sucks but give it time. I'm sure you'll find someone really nice! You deserve to!
meanttolive4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 im afraid i wont find someone who treated me the same way..you know..its just scary
moimeme Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 There is not only one good person on the planet. There is nothing at all to be afraid of.
Nubemeister Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 moimeme There is not only one good person on the planet. There is nothing at all to be afraid of.
Jareddms Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 my ex fiance did ALOT for me, she said she would aways be there for me no matter what but guess what she wasn't there for me in the end, when she got stressed out, i told her lets go on vacation , she was excited and then told me it was over , it was weird..when I go through my car there are many things in there she got me..i have to remind myself I got her alot too, i was there for her when she cried, when she was scared, when her job was going no where, i told her to quit and i paid the bills, when it was christmas i spent my whole paycheque on her plus more so that I can see a big smile on her face when she opened up her gifts..for my mom mother day I got her something for $50, yet on my ex fiance for no reason I would easily spend more than 500, its so messed up my mom has always been there for me and my dad too, and yet we take those people who are good to us for granted because of love...myself and her had our ups and downs and what you have to realize is not to be hard on yourself I am sure you did alot of good things too, she /he wasnt the only good hearted person in the relationship..i made alot of sacrifice for my ex fiance so that she can have a smile on her face.. of course she did alot too..i am sure if you have a good heart you will find someone else with a good heart too.. most of my ex always treated me nice, even one of them took me out and talk to me until 5am at a coffee shop to talk about my current situtation...dont give on human beings everywhere i feel my ex is the nicest sweetest most beautiful person in the world..deep down i have to convince myself i can find someone who is right for me with those qualities...
Dixiecron Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 Well MESO, Here's something that's worked for me in the past: If you take your thinking from the assumption that no one will ever ever love you again for as long as you live, then what will you do with the rest of your life? You've got plenty of time and money now that you don't have to worry about women, right? So go do it. Funny thing is, once that's happening, you stop worrying about the other crap (like the lack of a girlfriend) and then better things (like new friends or a new girl) start to fall into place. But it doesn't work until you get to the point where it doesn't bother you anymore.
belly Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 maybe this is your wake up call. WAKE UP! you're afraid no one will get through your shell of shyness, well maybe you should be afraid. And what do you do when you're faced with fear, up against an unpassable wall with the beast behind you? do you lay down and wait for the gush of your life's blood, playing dead won't work. Do something. You cannot make her love you and you can't change your feelings, only time will tell. But don't waste that time or it might be too late. There are plenty of other things you can do. Not ready to get a new girlfriend , that's totally normal, but that doesn't mean you're not ready to get back to an old hobby club, or re-new a gym membership, or volunteer at the library. Do your own thing, meet people you're comfortable with meeting, test your boundaries, be brave, if you've hit the bottom of the barrel emotionally there's nothing to be afraid of. Change is constant, you never know what's coming with the next tide.
sportsloving Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 You can love You better than anyone else on the planet. Remember that. One person does not make your life, you do. You can choose to hide or you can choose to live life to the greatest and fullest and see what happens. best of luck to you~ always
mysoulsearch Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 I have to tell you that I feel the same way. My ex broke up with me about a year ago. And this weekend she called me up and we met up and had sex. I feel worse now. She not the best person for me, yet I want her back. Why do I still feel that she will be the only person in the world who can love me right? This monday..i felt like killing myself. Being with her made me want to be in a really good relationship even more. But she cold....she doesn't want to be with me...telling me that i haven't changed. How can you tell someone you loved them and not accept them for who they are? You should love all the inperfection of another. I am very sad
meanttolive4ever Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 Originally posted by sportsloving You can love You better than anyone else on the planet. Remember that. One person does not make your life, you do. You can choose to hide or you can choose to live life to the greatest and fullest and see what happens. best of luck to you~ always i forgot about that.
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