SugarLily Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 So, It's 5 days since he ditched me - but today has been the first day that he's really been on my mind. All day. I'm not sure why. I actively have to stop thinking about him - but it's hard. I'm sure (I hope) this is completely normal. At first I thought it was because I missed him. But it's not that I miss him - I just miss having someone there. I miss the company - the feeling of intimacy you associate with a relationship. I think today is part of the process of me learning to adapt to being single again. Being alone again. I don't mind being alone - I kinda prefer it - i'm just not used to it. Memories have been popping into my head all day - but every happy memory is immediately followed by a negative one. The way he looked at me, the way he talked at me, the way he treated me. His attitude. The reality of who he is. I can't hate him. He saved me from having to go through it for any longer. I just wish he wasn't in my head. x
Buttercup84 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Hi hunny, I know what you mean , I don't mind being alone but I'm not used to it anymore . Weekends are the hardest , as I have so much time and I can do what I want. The memories bug me too , they will fade for us one day . We will not forget them but wonderful new memories will replace them . Maybe even a new man will come along . But it just shows that you are human and have a heart xxx
Mack05 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Sugar remember last night when you felt great and I said "No sugar not all. Your emotions are going to change. I remember after my last breakup feeling fine for a few weeks and then BANG. For no reason was seriously depressed for a whole weekend. Some days u will feel strong (ala today) some days you will feel week. The key is to roll with it.."
mike588 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 So, It's 5 days since he ditched me - but today has been the first day that he's really been on my mind. All day. I'm not sure why. I actively have to stop thinking about him - but it's hard. I'm sure (I hope) this is completely normal. At first I thought it was because I missed him. But it's not that I miss him - I just miss having someone there. I miss the company - the feeling of intimacy you associate with a relationship. I think today is part of the process of me learning to adapt to being single again. Being alone again. I don't mind being alone - I kinda prefer it - i'm just not used to it. Memories have been popping into my head all day - but every happy memory is immediately followed by a negative one. The way he looked at me, the way he talked at me, the way he treated me. His attitude. The reality of who he is. I can't hate him. He saved me from having to go through it for any longer. I just wish he wasn't in my head. x I know how you feel. You seem to be doing pretty good for only 5 days and you have a good attitude about it, wish I could say the same! Hang in there you know time will help and he won't be in your head so much. Best Wishes.
Author SugarLily Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Thank you all so much for your responses! I know it's going to be 'a rollercoaster' - I think part of me is angry for letting myself become so invested in a person who never deserved it. Loveshack is really the only thing that is giving me a perspective on this, and keeping me strong. I hope that with time these thoughts will fade. I've been dreaming about him too! It's like I can't get away from him! You are all so lovely, and I really appreciate your support! x x x
HollyHoliday Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 So, It's 5 days since he ditched me - but today has been the first day that he's really been on my mind. All day. I'm not sure why. I actively have to stop thinking about him - but it's hard. I'm sure (I hope) this is completely normal. At first I thought it was because I missed him. But it's not that I miss him - I just miss having someone there. I miss the company - the feeling of intimacy you associate with a relationship. I think today is part of the process of me learning to adapt to being single again. Being alone again. I don't mind being alone - I kinda prefer it - i'm just not used to it. Memories have been popping into my head all day - but every happy memory is immediately followed by a negative one. The way he looked at me, the way he talked at me, the way he treated me. His attitude. The reality of who he is. I can't hate him. He saved me from having to go through it for any longer. I just wish he wasn't in my head. x So I am here laying in my bed, feeling a bit down, when I come across your thread, and as I read, so much popped out at me. By the time I got to where you said, "the reality of who he is", I nearly jumped out of my bed. I realized in my own situation that no, I don't miss him, I miss having that intimate company. And NO, I never loved him as a person, the REALITY OF WHO HE IS got in the way of that, and that is why we aren't together anymore. I always knew he was a negative, mean person, but I pushed it aside because I thought I was looking too much into it. Now I know I was right all along, and I hold onto those initial judgments I had. I have been having really bad ruminating thoughts about my ex, and now, I am just going to replace each and every one of those thoughts with your words. "The reality of who he is". Really powerful for me! Keep in there, it looks like you are off to a good start.
radiodarcy Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 hey Sugar. it's all completely normal. and while you will go through it for some time. it's just part of the process. it'll pass. then come back; but eventually he will occupy less and less of your head space. the fact that you know it's not him you're missing but the feeling of having someone means that you're thinking clearly now and are continuing to feel better. so keep it up! you're doing great!
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