snikerbarz Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) 3 week reader first time poster. All BU situations are different so I figured I'd ask for the communities input on this one. My ex dumped me around a month and a half ago but we were only together for six months. It was her first relationship and I guess I've had a half relationship before this one. I've read up on G.I.G.S and there are some similarities to my situation. -she was 19 -we never fought and I thought we got along well -I didn't see it coming -when we first started dating she didn't drink a ton but throughout the relationship she started drinking more... This one might throw it off of GIGS but: -A little over a month before the split she wanted to start having sex... at first I thought it was cool but then I started to have doubts. Eventually I said I wasn't ready for that yet (I didn't think she treated it like it was a big deal emotionally so I was reluctant). She tried to push me on it during two separate occasions one sober one drunk. the last time was two weeks before the breakup. She's a virgin. She broke up saying lets be friends. I said it was a good thing we didn't have sex... and she agreed quickly but then asked why (seemed odd she would say that). The reasons she gave me for the BU was that she wanted to work on herself (better grades, better at soccer, and lose weight) and couldn't give me the attention/time I deserved. I decided to respect her decision and walked. Haven't contacted her since but we do go to the same university (don't really see each other though). might be GIGS but boredom is my guess, input? Edited September 22, 2011 by snikerbarz forgot reasons for the BU
Dark Phoenix Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Can you give more detail about your relationship? how the breakup went down? and a little info about her family/upbringing? From what you have described it sounds like gigs to me, even the part about her wanting to have sex before the breakup. but giving more info would help in determining the cause.
Author snikerbarz Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Sure thing. -She has a sister who's strange (nymphomaniac), and a younger brother -her mom is nice but wants to divorce her dad (when they're all out of college) and her dad seems like a good person but there were a few occainsions where he upset her. He raised her to not cry and she thought showing to much emotion was bad. -she compared our relationship to her friends relationship... and I'm pretty sure she expected the breakup to be the same way (from what I understand the guy isn't over her and its been over a year + he did the whole begging/pleading) the night it happened she said I think we should just be friends. I told her I would let her think on it for a week but she said she had made her decision. I realized I had lost her and said ok... then she said she has a lot of guy friends and that she could still come over and stuff. then I asked her if it was because I wouldn't have sex and she said no. She then told me she wanted to work on herself and wouldn't have the time to devote to me when school started. I said it was a good thing we didn't have sex and she agreed with, "ya... wait why?". I said so it wouldn't hurt as much. Then she said, your taking this really well... (which is why I think she was comparing me again...). I told her I had no choice. Then I essentially left after a few minutes and I haven't spoken to her since. Hope this helps.
Dark Phoenix Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Apart from your relationship only being 6 months long I see this as a case of gigs. but it's not very often that gigs will strike a relationship of such short term. All of the other factors seem to support gigs as the cause, hopefully homebrew or wilsonx will take a look at this thread if they get the chance. She could have entered a GIGS phase before you two started dating. She entered into a relationship with you for 6 months and now she wants to try someone else. You are doing good by staying NC with her, stick with it.
Author snikerbarz Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Thanks for your input! Another thing to add, about a month before the BU she tried weed.
Author snikerbarz Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Thanks for your input homebrew... I'll take your word for it and throw it in the past
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