thegamev1 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Alright, so this is a bit of my introduction. To keep a long story short, I met this girl about over a year ago. When we first hung out, it was an amazing time, we really did appreciate each other's company. We didn't want to rush into a relationship quickly, so we just kind of stayed friends. Winter time came, we got a little closer, and became an "official" couple in January. It might be the rose colored glasses, but I really don't remember any hard times with her, we were both very compatible and very happy with each other. Hell, we even told each other we loved each other. But then a week later we broke up. It took me a long time to realize why we really broke up, as she kind of gave me all of these lame excuses of that she wasn't ready for a relationship or I wasn't her type, but it all boils down to the point that I had changed. I was whiny, unappealing, and didn't really look forward to any change in my life. I was fine not having a car, having a job I hated, and not changing my appearance. BUT even with that we stayed friends. She went back to her ex temporarily before he broke her heart, cheating on her and writing nasty things about her. I was there, and I was supportive, but again, my neediness for being with her overtook the real goal- her trusting and respecting me again. I pushed and pushed, and I now realize that I pushed her away more than ever. Though I promised to make a long story short, I obviously lied so here's the point: I've had no contact with her for over a month. I recently deleted her off FB and Twitter a few days ago, in attempt to overcome it again. I've realized what I did, and why I had to change. I've gotten a new and better job, a car, and I actually care a bit about my appearance. While I started with the attention of doing it for her, to be honest, it was all for me. Sure, she was the one who pushed me, but I did it all for myself in the long run. Even with that...I miss her. She's the kind of girl you go for, she's smart, funny, and she's independent, but more importantly she does care about things close to her, and that's what attracted me the most. She's going on a date this week, and while it sucks, I'm kind of in the whole "Whatever makes her happy will make me happy" mode. But...(and finally the point) I want to win her back. I know there's no sure filed method to do this, but is there any pieces of advice? I've tried the whole "meet other women" and "go out and have fun", and while I have met people, she's just always stuck on my mind. I feel like if I care this much, then it has to be for something, right? Sorry for the long introduction, just wanted to express it out to anybody who'd listen.
goldengirl11 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Well I was listening to you;) I myself am going through an after six months thing, after the man I was seeing began dating someone else in Feb time, which I actually blame myself for after I hadn't been able to see him the couple of times he'd suggested previously. After him making random e-mail contact again around a month or so ago it's safe to say he's now disappeared again so fear that he has got back with his ex who i guessed that he'd broken up with around the time he contacted me again. I feel quite lost at times at the moment and just hope we'll get a chance again. Best wishes,
TheDovic Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Jesus dude, she's not attracted to you because of your neediness, it has nothing to do with the car, job or appearance. You're being a total wuss (sorry for coming down hard on you but one day you'll thank me... I promise!!!) and the short story here is WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSES! You're behaving like one of her girlfriends, not a man who lights her fire. How many movies or books do you see a woman falling in love with a wuss (not very many right)? It's always some dude like James Bond or Clark Gable in "Gone with the wind" who they can't quite control and who isn't overly emotional. I want to tell girls all about how I'm feeling too dude, but the reality is they're not attracted to this. They want a real man who isn't afraid to speak his mind and does what he wants! Here's the good news though... YOU ARE A REAL MAN, you're just not acting like it YET! You want help right? Then read David DeAngelo's "Attraction isn't a choice" (you may need to download the kindle app on amazon to read this) and John Alexander's "How to be an alpha male." These books aren't about stupid tricks to use, they simply tell you what behaviours turn women off and what turns them on. Seriously, do yourself a favour - read them and they will change your life with women. Alternatively, keep acting like this and you'll be on this forum for years!!! Trust me and good luck buddy, and remember "Man Up!"
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