Can it work? An introvert with an extrovert?

[FrustratedStandards]

I'm extroverted. I express my thoughts, I dance my ass off, if something is bothering me I'll say it straight up "i'm pissed off". If I feel like eating pizza, i'll say so. If I'm super horny, i'll say so (to my SO).

 

However, I have dated men who are the opposite. Quiet, shy, conservative. I CANNOT handle that. Two hour dinners without a word spoken is a deal breaker for me. I hate the "I don't know what ever you feel like" answer to every single question I ask.

 

Once I made a simple joke, and it offended the guy so much, but I had NO idea and he told me the next day he couldn't sleep cuz he was so bothered. He told me a day later when I asked why he was so upset.

 

Do you think introverts and extroverts can make it? I personally think, for myself, it's something that has to be of the like. Extros with extros and intros with intros. Otherwise I think its a disaster.

 

Whaddya think?

[serial muse]

I'm extroverted. I express my thoughts, I dance my ass off, if something is bothering me I'll say it straight up "i'm pissed off". If I feel like eating pizza, i'll say so. If I'm super horny, i'll say so (to my SO).

 

However, I have dated men who are the opposite. Quiet, shy, conservative. I CANNOT handle that. Two hour dinners without a word spoken is a deal breaker for me. I hate the "I don't know what ever you feel like" answer to every single question I ask.

 

Once I made a simple joke, and it offended the guy so much, but I had NO idea and he told me the next day he couldn't sleep cuz he was so bothered. He told me a day later when I asked why he was so upset.

 

Do you think introverts and extroverts can make it? I personally think, for myself, it's something that has to be of the like. Extros with extros and intros with intros. Otherwise I think its a disaster.

 

Whaddya think?

 

Well, as an introvert... I think that introverts come in all shapes and sizes. As it happens, I usually have dated extroverts in the past, with mixed results. And now, my fiance is an introvert. But neither of us is a passive person - "I don't know, whatever you feel like" is not something we typically say, and I'd add that it's not even an introverted quality, but a passive one, IMO. We both tend to have plenty of opinions about things.

 

Sounds like the guy you're talking about had other communication problems. But my exH, who was about as extroverted as they come, wouldn't tell me when something was bothering him, either. It ultimately destroyed our marriage (because he found a way to express himself - through cheating ).

 

I guess my point is, there can be frustrations between an introvert and an extrovert, in terms of understanding and lifestyle choices - but those are not insurmountable, and in some cases, aren't even that big of a deal. The major difference is just that introverts recharge themselves through solitude, and extroverts recharge themselves through interaction. It's not really about active vs. passive at all.

 

Anyway, I just think there are way too many other variables involved to say such a pairing, based on that alone, will/won't work out.

Edited September 22, 2011 by serial muse

[Calutaxi484]

I'm extroverted. I express my thoughts, I dance my ass off, if something is bothering me I'll say it straight up "i'm pissed off". If I feel like eating pizza, i'll say so. If I'm super horny, i'll say so (to my SO).

 

However, I have dated men who are the opposite. Quiet, shy, conservative. I CANNOT handle that. Two hour dinners without a word spoken is a deal breaker for me. I hate the "I don't know what ever you feel like" answer to every single question I ask.

 

Once I made a simple joke, and it offended the guy so much, but I had NO idea and he told me the next day he couldn't sleep cuz he was so bothered. He told me a day later when I asked why he was so upset.

 

Do you think introverts and extroverts can make it? I personally think, for myself, it's something that has to be of the like. Extros with extros and intros with intros. Otherwise I think its a disaster.

 

Whaddya think?

 

I think it would depend on the degree. I've been out with some women that were more the shy type, I'd say my biggest pet peeve about them was basically the same thing you said. I had one GF not talk to me for days because I did something that pissed her off... but she never told me what it was.

However people CAN work on being more outgoing. I was more of that quiet kept to myself type when I was younger.