Angelina527 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I didn't want to threadjack, but wanted to share more of my thoughts on the issue of positives in affairs. It's my assertion, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, it's just my belief that there is nothing positive about infidelity. (And really, that opinion was flagged and deleted???) We all know the basic reasons, but from the standpoint of a woman who has been on both sides of the issue, the "positives" that one feels during the affair, eventually take a toll on the relationship. My now husband and I both look back on that time that we thought was so special as a time when we both lost the very essence of who we were. We threw away our beliefs, our morals, those very things that drew us together to begin with. AND, our affair set the stage for how the first years of our marriage would be...me being naive and thinking that he would never do that to ME, and him lying and sneaking and finding new "best friends." Now that we are healed and working on us, we both see the time during our affair as a very ugly time, not special and certainly not unique. I love him, certainly. He loves me and has worked hard to fix what was wrong, as have I. We're good, but after the hell we've been through, we both see things realistically rather than with rose colored glasses. If we had it to do over again, we would not. Sure, we would want to end up together in the end, but I would never ever sacrifice that part of myself again, but more importantly, I would NEVER cause harm to another woman. I would tell him "it was nice to meet you, but go home to your wife. If that doesn't work out and you divorce, then give me a call." The love we have always shared is wonderful, for sure...we were "best friends", his marriage was bad before me, etc. etc....yeah, those were the same things his AP's thought. Before anyone flags my post, I do not mean any disrespect to anyone, but am simply trying to help given my views from both sides. I still stand by what I said: there is NOTHING positive about infidelity.
Snowflower Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Angelina, your story is very powerful. I would love to read more about it if you feel like sharing. The infidelity forum is another place where you might get a slightly different audience - if you wanted to post it there.
NoIDidn't Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I was trying to figure out why that thread seemed truncated. I understand what you were saying. I'm sure it was not an attempt to change the tone of the thread. That's why I didn't post about my marriage.
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