irc333 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 ...can't cook themselves? I was just curious, I know it's great that a man can know how to cook, but.....when I see women state this in personal ad, I wonder if this could be interpreted as her not being able to cook or more of a "I want to be spoiled and pampered, but I don't have that much to offer but a pretty face" I just wonder what that person's motive is when they make such a statement.
SillyS Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 It could be perhaps because they are hopeless in the kitchen. Cooking isn't something all women can do or even a lot. Thus I always take it as a woman admitting that she is not skilled in the kitchen herself. It's just a silly thing to say regardless. I think a guy should be able to just cut some things in the kitchen or assist me if I need it or cook and split the responsibility with me. It is the 21st century, and I don't think both partners should be able to pull their weight around the house.
tigressA Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Some men say they don't know how to cook and want a woman who knows how. I've dated guys who couldn't or wouldn't cook, yet expected their partner to cook for them. I don't see how this is different at all.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 ...can't cook themselves? I was just curious, I know it's great that a man can know how to cook, but.....when I see women state this in personal ad, I wonder if this could be interpreted as her not being able to cook or more of a "I want to be spoiled and pampered, but I don't have that much to offer but a pretty face" I just wonder what that person's motive is when they make such a statement. Maybe they don't want a man who is hung up on gender roles. I'm a great cook... but I'm not going to invest in a man who wants a relationship because he wants a live in maid/nanny/cook or who doesn't have a clue about much more than boiling water and constantly destroys clothes in the laundry. In other words, that is one way women figure out if he's non-traditional and wants an equal relationship. Interesting that you think that women who wants a man who is self-sufficient that way naturally implies she wants to be 'spoiled and pampered'. I'd settle for self-sufficent. A man who can cook is self-sufficent. That's all.
tigressA Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Maybe they don't want a man who is hung up on gender roles. I'm a great cook... but I'm not going to invest in a man who wants a relationship because he wants a live in maid/nanny/cook or who doesn't have a clue about much more than boiling water and constantly destroys clothes in the laundry. In other words, that is one way women figure out if he's non-traditional and wants an equal relationship. Interesting that you think that women who wants a man who is self-sufficient that way naturally implies she wants to be 'spoiled and pampered'. I'd settle for self-sufficent. A man who can cook is self-sufficent. That's all. This too. One guy I dated who couldn't cook kind of turned me off with that. He usually ate really unhealthy food because of it; he rarely ate 'well' beyond what I would sometimes cook for us. It was sad, really. Since then I eliminated guys who can't/won't cook from my dating pool and it has been so much better. I like being able to cook meals together, being able to share kitchen duty, etc.
Author irc333 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) This too. One guy I dated who couldn't cook kind of turned me off with that. He usually ate really unhealthy food because of it; he rarely ate 'well' beyond what I would sometimes cook for us. It was sad, really. Since then I eliminated guys who can't/won't cook from my dating pool and it has been so much better. I like being able to cook meals together, being able to share kitchen duty, etc. Man, tough crowd, that's a deal breaker for you? Interesting...though a man can be sufficient in other things. I typically just microwave whatever I get in the frozen isle section, even the vegatables....but I've been known to cook easy stuff. But, some single people use the excuse for not cooking, well, because they are single, and see no reason to cook for one. BUT, yet, I don't expect nor depend on a woman to cook FOR me either...so it's a wash. I've been pretty much self-sufficient in my own way. I CAN wash clothes without destroying them. LOL But, if I was dating someone, I would attempt to try to cook. Edited September 22, 2011 by irc333
Author irc333 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 I knew this female co-worker that was dating a guy. She actually ENJOYED cleaning/organizing in general, even did it for friends. When she started dating this guy, she suprised him by cleaning his place for him before he got home. This was just her "thing" she enjoyed, even though the guy wasn't that organized. She had mentioned earlier that the ingrate was annoyed by altering his environment though the way she did without his permission. Talk about backwards, right? Imagine that, someone who ENJOYS cleaning.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Sometimes its good when couples have different strengths. I don't always cook myself but if a man cooks for me then I do the dishes and clean up. I also do laundry and iron very well...but I don't cook so much. (Except breakfast foods mostly). Is that alright by you OP?
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 ...can't cook themselves? I was just curious, I know it's great that a man can know how to cook, but.....when I see women state this in personal ad, I wonder if this could be interpreted as her not being able to cook or more of a "I want to be spoiled and pampered, but I don't have that much to offer but a pretty face" I just wonder what that person's motive is when they make such a statement. You are going to find some women who simply won't cook, and feel that doing so is beneath them. Some guys feel this way too. I don't know why but when I cook stuff I really struggle to make it taste good. There are a handful of meals I can do well, but I'm really prone to doing odd stuff. One time I decided for some reason that crushed Dorito chips would taste good in spaghetti. Bad choice. My GF lets me chop things and wash bowls... but if I get too close to the food she threatens to stab me. I'm not sure why... Doesn't a Vanilla & Cinnamon Burger sound tasty?
carhill Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 OP, don't read into it anything more than in evidence. If the lady states she 'can't cook', she can't cook. She's evidently alive so manages to feed herself. Trust that it will continue. If it's not an issue for yourself, it's not. If it is, that. My exW and I could/can cook pretty well (see picture of typical dinner party spread), but such aspects of compatibility are minor compared to others in a LTR/M and IME not really indicative of any wider trend.
missed_theboat Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Maybe they don't want a man who is hung up on gender roles. I'm a great cook... but I'm not going to invest in a man who wants a relationship because he wants a live in maid/nanny/cook or who doesn't have a clue about much more than boiling water and constantly destroys clothes in the laundry. In other words, that is one way women figure out if he's non-traditional and wants an equal relationship. Interesting that you think that women who wants a man who is self-sufficient that way naturally implies she wants to be 'spoiled and pampered'. I'd settle for self-sufficent. A man who can cook is self-sufficent. That's all. Yeah, that's what I would say. I am not hopeless in the kitchen. I'm not the best cook, either, but I wouldn't want a man who expects to marry his "mother" and be waited-on. I couldn't believe when I heard about a girl I knew from high school marrying a guy who would come home from work, dump all his things in the kitchen, walk right past the refrigerator, plop down on the coach and demand he make her a sandwich. That's partly her stupidity for marrying such a loser, anyway, because you have to know how someone is... but maybe women just want to make sure the man they are dating is someone who can take care of himself and prepare something other than a grilled cheese.
PJKino Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Women dumping Men because they cant cook now women are somethign else If a women cant cook fine but then dont get your panties in a bunch when a guy cant do stereotpyical male things around the house Women seem to want to keep tradition gender roles alive when it suits them yet the ones that dont they think are degrading for someone to expect them to do
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 For me, it's because I would enjoy cooking together (and showing one another new recipes / foods / etc). Admittedly, it would be nice to surprise one another with our favorite dishes too (/end fantasy [my current boyfriend doesn't know how to cook and isn't interested in learning much... although he makes the best smoothies I've ever tasted mm]).
Mutant Debutante Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I'm a little confused, OP. You're kind of implying that women have nothing to offer but looks and cooking in your OP, you know that right? I can cook, but I don't like dating guys who can't cook, either. I have a busy schedule and it's best if we can take turns in the kitchen. I don't eat microwavable crap.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 For me, it's because I would enjoy cooking together (and showing one another new recipes / foods / etc). Admittedly, it would be nice to surprise one another with our favorite dishes too (/end fantasy [my current boyfriend doesn't know how to cook and isn't interested in learning much... although he makes the best smoothies I've ever tasted mm]). Cooking together is mega fun!
somedude81 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 ...can't cook themselves? I was just curious, I know it's great that a man can know how to cook, but.....when I see women state this in personal ad, I wonder if this could be interpreted as her not being able to cook or more of a "I want to be spoiled and pampered, but I don't have that much to offer but a pretty face" I just wonder what that person's motive is when they make such a statement. Do women these days really need to offer anything more?
missed_theboat Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 My guy and I cook together, too. We are both kind of experimental and like to try new things, whether that means rice and beans on a weeknight, or trying a recipe out of his Men's Health together. Oh my goodness, my boyfriend made me some filet mignon wrapped in bacon on the open fire (no grill, just straight up fire)-then he topped it with crumbled bleu cheese. We had open-fire roasted corn on the cob, too. With some red wine, it was paradise. I couldn't believe he just had a piece of meat and an open fire and cooked it to perfection. That, I don't think I could do. So, I'm very pleased. I wouldn't date or dump a guy based on his ability to cook. I would, though, if he believed it was a gender expectation that one of us cook all the time. If he was inept at cooking, but was willing to try or at least willing to help out in other ways, it wouldn't be a problem!
Author irc333 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Right, it should be considered a BONUS not a dealbreaker. It's one of those, "It would be NICE to have" situations. Women dumping Men because they cant cook now women are somethign else If a women cant cook fine but then dont get your panties in a bunch when a guy cant do stereotpyical male things around the house Women seem to want to keep tradition gender roles alive when it suits them yet the ones that dont they think are degrading for someone to expect them to do
sweetjasmine Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I can cook, but I don't like dating guys who can't cook, either. I have a busy schedule and it's best if we can take turns in the kitchen. I don't eat microwavable crap. Same here. I'm good at cooking, and so is my SO. We both enjoy cooking for each other and take turns doing it because we both work a lot and come home tired. I don't eat microwave junk, and we try to limit eating out. I'd rather be with someone who prefers that arrangement. Do women these days really need to offer anything more? Dude, seriously? Yes, women "these days" need to offer more than a pretty face if they want to be with a partner who is looking for a long-term fulfilling relationship with an equal adult partner and not just an ego band-aid or warm hole to use every once in a while. Jeez. Get help.
udolipixie Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) ...can't cook themselves? I was just curious, I know it's great that a man can know how to cook, but.....when I see women state this in personal ad, I wonder if this could be interpreted as her not being able to cook or more of a "I want to be spoiled and pampered, but I don't have that much to offer but a pretty face" I just wonder what that person's motive is when they make such a statement. Does that mean men who love women who can cook but they can't cook themselves are spoiled and pampered and don't have much to offer but a pretty face? Does that mean all men who can't cook but like women who can cook have questionable motives? Women dumping Men because they cant cook now women are somethign else If a women cant cook fine but then dont get your panties in a bunch when a guy cant do stereotpyical male things around the house Women seem to want to keep tradition gender roles alive when it suits them yet the ones that dont they think are degrading for someone to expect them to do Where did you get any of that from the OP's post of women loving men who can cook but they can't cook themselves? If anything the comparison should have been that it's just like men loving women who can cook but they can't cook themselves. How did you get women want to keep tradition gender roles alive when it suits them and all the rest of that bs? Edited September 22, 2011 by udolipixie spelling
udolipixie Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Right, it should be considered a BONUS not a dealbreaker. It's one of those, "It would be NICE to have" situations. Bonus? I consider knowing how to cook your own means as a sign of self-sufficiency that i prefer in adults men and women. Since cooking for yourself usually leads to learning more about nutrition and taking better care of your health that often extends to other areas. It's an understandable dealbreaker as some don't want to waste time teaching a partner to cook or instructing them on nutrition and healthy eating so that if this turns into a lasting lifelong relationship they are not stuck doing all the cooking. After all some mean take a woman's ability to cook and her cleanliness as indicates as to how she'll take care of their possible children.
El Brujo Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I would actually PREFER a woman who lets me cook for her. This is not because I like to brag about being Mr. Great Chef or any of that macho b.s... it comes from when I lived with my family and they expected me to scarf down every revolting concoction they could cook up. Freedom literally never tasted so good. I suck at baking bread, but I make pretty good Italian food and Cajun food. BTW what's up with those wuss guys who can clean a dirty engine but can't wash one dish?
Cypress25 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I typically just microwave whatever I get in the frozen isle section, even the vegatables....but I've been known to cook easy stuff. I raise my glass to you, good sir. That's how I eat. I don't cook but I manage to eat healthy enough (fruits and veggies don't need to be cooked), although my diet is probably too high in sodium. I'm also vegetarian, so I have no need to cook meat or fish. I don't have any expectations for the men I date as far as cooking is concerned. If they like to cook, fine. If not, that's fine too. I certainly don't expect them to cook for me, so as long as they can feed themselves, I don't care how they do it. Once this guy was trying to convince me to date him and I was trying to turn him down gently, and he was like "I can cook." I was like "...I don't care."
thatone Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) for all of those single women who like men who cook, honestly, move to south louisiana . my dad was building grocery stores in the new orleans area about 20 years ago and once got in an argument with a corporate office from a national grocery store chain about a market study they had done but didn't accept. he had to explain that the difference between south louisiana and everywhere else is men cook, and every man thinks he's an amateur chef. ergo, men shop for groceries, not just women. even married men. and when a man sees two options on a store shelf one costing 89 cents and the other costing 3.50, the man will buy the 3.50 option versus the 89 cent option because "it must be better, it costs more". hence their market study showing the average family in south louisiana spending fully twice what the average family does on groceries anywhere else. seriously, you can go to any grocery store in around new orleans and see two or three straight men, by themselves without women around, talking about recipes in the checkout line. Edited September 23, 2011 by thatone
Woggle Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Date an Italian man. I am half Italian and cooking is in our blood.
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