georgie84 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I was seeing a guy for 3 months but he broke it off due issues he was having with depression and coping with stuff. This was about 4 months ago. Since then we have remained in contact through facebook and texting as he said I was the only one he talked about stuff with and I thought I could remain friends with him since we hadn't been together too long. I had tried to point out in the beginning that he probably shouldn't be in a relationship but he persued with it and I liked him too much to not get sucked in. Anyways this has turned into a big mess, we had been talking for hours online almost every other day and texting. He had been talking to his ex girlfriend again too but he insisted that nothing was going on between them, he had been on and off with her for 2 years prior to meeting me and he always dumped her. Lately he has been making jokes about me coming over to have sex with him and conversations have not been what I would call just friendly. I had just been laughing this off but it did make me think he wanted the relationship to be on again. Turned out that he wants back with his ex again and this has really knocked me far more than I thought it would. We've ended up having a big fight as I told him I was upset that he tells me nothing is going on then obviously has lied and said I found it confusing that he flirts with me and constantly brings up sex if we are just mates. So once again we are not speaking and I feel miserable. I've never really had a reason off him as to why we aren't together, this is the only thing we argue about. I know I probably shouldn't speak to him as I have a feeling he just wants the attention and I can't understand why he wants to go back to a relationship which in his words was with the wrong person. I wish he hadn't pursued a relationship with me in the first place and we had just stayed friends as now I feel like I've just been used for a few months when he worked so hard to convince me that wasn't the case. I wanted to keep things casual until we were sure but after a few weeks he was telling me he wanted a full on relationship and how amazing I was etc. He is very insecure and moody and puts a lot of that on to me. This has made me feel insecure and my moods have ended up being very up and down with him telling me I am great one day then the next that I do his head in. I've not spoken to him for a week now and feel like I'm going through a break up all over again even though we weren't together, how do I get out of it?
smudge21 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Wow... seriously, wow... almost everything you said there could mirror my situation exactly with my ex. Falling for them, losing contact, seeing her getting back with her ex, staying in contact, trying to be friends... etc etc. It took a lot for me to say goodbye as I couldn't be her friend, especially when she got engaged, but it was the right thing to do. NC has been tough and there's been times both of us have broke it, but I'm trying to stay focused... but it's tough knowing I still love her and knowing that she does miss me and want me back, but only as friend. I believe you will have to say goodbye too as at the moment you're giving him everything he wants but not thinking what you want, and that will only end if you being more hurt. When I said goodbye it did lead to her making more contact, but sadly the situation hadn't changed and therefore nothing happened. I still would love to be friends with her as we got along so well, but right now that's too much, and I've told her this. The truth is though that I'm trying to move away from her now and totally forget about her. I doubt we'll ever be friends again because there will always be those feelings and memories. Be honest with yourself and him. Good luck.
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