genmut Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 To cut a long story short, my ex dumped me out of the blue 2 months ago after an 8-month long intense relationship that involved talk of marriage/the future. Her reasons for leaving me were that I was too possessive and controlling and that she had changed during our relationship. From someone outgoing and daring to a docile introvert. She dumped me on facebook chat and immediately proceeded to untag all pictures she'd taken with me and blocked me from seeing her wall. She also deleted a few albums of our vacations together. However, she left a few of our albums untouched, including a private album only the two of us could see, containing the first few pictures we ever took together. A couple weeks ago, I realised that all our albums had disappeared, except the private one. A mutual friend told me that the other albums (including our vacations + my birthday party) were still up, meaning that she'd only blocked me from viewing them. She seemed really final about the breakup, saying that she wasn't living while she was with me and she didn't want to look back. Said she hoped I'd find another girl. But this Facebook stuff does confuse me somewhat. She's "reconfigured" her albums a couple times, yet she chooses to leave the private album there, knowing full well that the two of us are the only ones able to see it. I know there's probably a 90% chance that I'm overanalysing, but I was just wondering if there's anyone out there who sees some hope in this. And if there isn't any hope, maybe I just need someone to reach out through cyberspace and knock some sense into me right now. It's been 2 months and I am holding on to hope that she might come back, though that hope is indeed diminishing with every day that goes by with NC. Please guys, leave a comment and don't hold back. I think I need a reality check.
Dark Phoenix Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 stop looking into her facebook. whether it's just photos of the two of your or full out looking at her wall/pics/friends/ect.. I believe that action of yours is preserving that hope you still harbour. I believe you are over-analysing the situation with facebook. my ex originally broke up with me and proceeded to date my best friend for a short time. She kept a few pics of me on her profile while they were dating. I'm not sure if she's deleted them or not at this point in time because I haven't looked, nor do I want to. If you get rid of that hope you can't "lose" in any way or hurt yourself even more. You lose all hope, and lets say she does come back.... you can be surprised. Now lets say you lose all hope and she doesn't come back... who cares? you've already lost the hope of you reconciling. If you keep that hope and she doesn't come back, you risk hurting yourself for a long time and possibly indefinitely. Obviously if she does come back while you have that hope you will be excited but not so much as surprised. your choice but I think that glimmer of hope fuelled by your obsession of what she is doing on facebook will hold you back tremendously.
futuregopher Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I get what you mean. I broke up with my ex of 2 years 1.5 months ago. She has over 1600 FB friends and posts pretty frequently. You could say that she is addicted to facebook. She was really active on fb with statuses and commenting on her statuses. In the month after the breakup, she would post statuses of where she was, going to the gym, random thoughts etc but she has stopped facebook activity for the past two weeks except for a couple of status updates. I even changed my relationship status to "single" last week but hers is still blank. A part of me thinks that she is too busy for facebook but then why did she post so frequently during the month we were broken up for? Women are so confusing...or I am just overanalyzing like you are haha
Author genmut Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 darkphoenix: you probably nailed it right there. I guess it's down to willpower huh. futuregopher: sounds like she might have been consciously trying to send the message that she was doing fine without you. Mine explicitly told me: "I'm living my life right now and enjoying it and I don't think you'd like it very much."
M2155 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Stay off her Facebook page! (I have a couple posts regarding Facebook on here.) If I had to guess, yes she probably left the album the two of you can see out of courtesy. Or maybe just so you'll remember. Who knows. But if she wanted to be friends, she wouldn't have changed anything. Facebook can mess with people. I know. I see my ex's GF posting cutesy stuff all the time (well, if I look. I'm trying not to do that because it just makes me not like him even more). My ex is a big Facebooker too although he's backed off a tad- I guess too busy with the new GF. Sometimes I seriously wish I had defriended him the day he said goodbye..but I'm nosy:o Hide your updates too if it makes you feel better. She probably did that so she can speak freely without you analyzing it. Plus, you don't need to know what's up with her new life. I hide some of mine just becaue if the day comes when he wonders about me, he needs to ask. Anyway, moral of the story, stay off facebook!!
fuzzbella Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Dont look into facebook because i swear facebook is the cause of so much trouble. If she has blocked you from everything she is either over reacting and been childish or she is hiding something that she doesnt want you to see. When my ex ended it with me, at first he stopped talking to me, blocked me out of his life and then he added me back on facebook to say he was sorry i soon discovered this was only because he planned on getting back with his ex ' while i was still with him ' but she was unsure and messing him around so he used me, chatted to me on facebook to make her jealous so she would come back around and when she did, do you know what happened? I got deleted and blocked out of his life again. When she ended it with him, he came back again and started telling me about all this stuff he feels for me for 2 months, and now he's found someone else again and im out of his life for the third time. Through this whole sorry im just trying to say dont look into anything on facebook, because if someone wants to be with you they will be with you no matter what. Maybe she forgot about that album? Or she's left it there hoping it'll give you false hope because advice from a girl which i am. Even if we dont want to date you, dont fancy you, dont wanna be with you, doesnt mean we dont want you to not want us too. We still want you to be holding onto that flase hope it builds us up and makes us feel good.
Author genmut Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 M2155: Well she did mention while breaking up with me that she'd do whatever it takes to make me get over her. I suspect her blocking stuff from me is her way of preventing me from snooping around. Which makes that private album seem all the more ironic.. "Maybe she forgot about that album? Or she's left it there hoping it'll give you false hope because advice from a girl which i am. Even if we dont want to date you, dont fancy you, dont wanna be with you, doesnt mean we dont want you to not want us too. We still want you to be holding onto that flase hope it builds us up and makes us feel good." Well there's a reason if I ever needed one
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