Author mrgoodcat Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) Saw her again today just in public. We chat, I probed, but she was with her friends so I couldn't stick around for too long, nor did she want me to. She did leave her GF's for a bit to talk to me, though. I found out her BF does not work with her, unlike I originally thought. It was good to know, I can be more free with her at her work. She did look great wearing tank-top and shorts. Like a juicy peach. Edited September 22, 2011 by mrgoodcat
Nexus One Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) Saw her again today just in public. We chat, I probed, but she was with her friends so I couldn't stick around for too long, nor did she want me to. She did leave her GF's for a bit to talk to me, though. I found out her BF does not work with her, unlike I originally thought. It was good to know, I can be more free with her at her work. She did look great wearing tank-top and shorts. Like a juicy peach. Of all the single women out there, do you really need to hit on that one girl who's already in a relationship? I wouldn't even hit on the most beautiful women on the planet if they were already in a relationship. I've also noticed that whenever I developed crush yet found out that the girl had a boyfriend, then the crush started to die down immediately. I suspect there's some mechanism that cuts of the biological process of a crush when a man knows a woman is already taken. The fact that that doesn't happen with some guys seems worrying. Like your biological mechanisms are broken. You guys strike me as awkward, like there's something off about you. Edited September 23, 2011 by Nexus One
FrustratedStandards Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) Of all the single women out there, do you really need to hit on that one girl who's already in a relationship? Why not? Should he pass that up for a single psycho who can't get a guy therefore thats why shes single? Actually scratch that. A lot of psychos somehow end up getting guys... I never understood that. And I dont agree that his "biological mechanism" is broken. I actually think it works better than the rest. If he likes a girl, then he goes for her, regardless if she has a man or not. It's called being a man and going for the most beautiful girl. A guy who gives her up just cuz she already has a man isn't a real man, hes just a wuss, in my opinion. I'm all for the alpha male May the best man win. Edited September 23, 2011 by FrustratedStandards
Nexus One Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) Seriously, if a guy hit on my girlfriend and she DIDN'T set any boundaries from her side of the relationship and even flirted with the guy, then the guy can have her. It's about respecting other people's relationships and knowing what you want. I know I don't want a girlfriend that doesn't even set boundaries out of respect for her boyfriend and the relationship, let alone a girlfriend that flirts with other guys. You guys that are able to take a girlfriend from another guy are basically hitting on low quality women, women that would leave their boyfriend the second another man shows interest in them. Those are the easy women. They fall so far down the ladder of quality that they're the prey of bottom feeders. Edited September 23, 2011 by Nexus One
FrustratedStandards Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Seriously, if a guy hit on my girlfriend and she DIDN'T set any boundaries from her side of the relationship and even flirted with the guy, then the guy can have her. Exactly! It's up to the girl to set the boundaries and set things straight. Guys will hit on girls regardless. So there's nothing wrong with the OP's biological mechanism. The results will all depend on how the girl handles things, and how serious she is with this current guy.
Nexus One Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Guys will hit on girls regardless. There are still some guys out there that aren't so f*cking disrespectful that they'd eat out of the bowl of another man. You guys should seriously ask yourselves what it is in you that makes you feel the need to do that, especially when the norm is to hit on single women.
Jynxx Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 There are still some guys out there that aren't so f*cking disrespectful that they'd eat out of the bowl of another man. Eating out of another man's bowl? Really? You really just said a human being in a relationship has similar charasteristics as an object with an owner? If that's your way of thinking about the girl in a relationship then I totally see how you don't "steal" someones girlfriend from him, as that would make you literally a thief and a scumbag. Now if you look at a relationship as 2 equal human beings who enjoy each others company, both with their own identity and who both have the freedom to make their own decisions and step out of it whenever they like, hitting on a girl becomes seducing an equal. An equal who happens to be in a relationship but who has the freedom to get out of it whenever she likes. I think I prefer the second way of thinking, it's way less ****ing disrespectful. And don't even get me started on why "the norm" is not something to be considered when arguing about ethics, as it would result in Godwin's Law within 5 words.
rafallus Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Seriously, if a guy hit on my girlfriend and she DIDN'T set any boundaries from her side of the relationship and even flirted with the guy, then the guy can have her.Now you're catching up. Therefore: If your gf is awesome - she will handle it on her own and politely turn them down. If she had problems with some persistent creep, she might ask for your help. So: If a guy succeeded in taking her from you, she's not as awesome as it seems. And certainly very likely that next guy will suffer the same fate in the end. In the end, other guys hitting on your gf are not as big of a deal as it seems. Either she handles it, or you're better off without her. Now, if some guy swore to be your friend and is intentionally hitting on your gf, then he certainly deserves to have his ass booted.
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 I know it all depends on her and I don't intend to kidnap her away from him. I'll let her make a decision. If she likes me, she'll realize her guy wouldn't be there for her like I would and she'll act accordingly. If she digs her guy, she'll be with him. And it won't happen in a day either, or even a week. My timeline is two-three weeks, really. I'll do what I can and hope for the best.
madjac74 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I know it all depends on her and I don't intend to kidnap her away from him. I'll let her make a decision. If she likes me, she'll realize her guy wouldn't be there for her like I would and she'll act accordingly. If she digs her guy, she'll be with him. And it won't happen in a day either, or even a week. My timeline is two-three weeks, really. I'll do what I can and hope for the best. Would you really want a girl that would leave her man for something she thought was better? That being you for now
runner Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 she's enjoying the extra attention on the side. if she really wanted to be with you she would be, and would've ended her current relationship.
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) she's enjoying the extra attention on the side. if she really wanted to be with you she would be, and would've ended her current relationship. You may be 100% right. I have this in the back of my mind all the time. It's an unpleasant thought, but comes with the territory. @madjac Well, I don't expect her to leave him right away. Few women/girls can just cut it off because of another guy. The guy who asked her out may not have been her first choice...it never is. So, who cares, right? Edited September 23, 2011 by mrgoodcat
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) Saw her again today. She looked tired but we had a good conversation. The conversation involved us meeting the other day, and I told her she looks great outside work. I asked what she is doing this weekend if any plans, she goes: "my GF's are going to blindfold me and take me somewhere". That did it for me. She seems just less radiant and no hints of her being available on a weekend just seems to point that she may just be happy with her guy. That was a possibility too, that I'm fine with. Edited September 24, 2011 by mrgoodcat
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 That was a possibility too, that I'm fine with. As to Onyxsnowfalls, f*ck you and you're still dating a loser cause normal guys won't go for you. If normal guys are like you, then I am thanking my lucky stars that they're looking someone else's way (and blessing the hearts of those that do become enmeshed with them ) hehe.
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Goddammit, I edit a post 1 minute after to not get your fat ass to respond and boom. Yes, you're fat cause normal girls can choose. Lay off pound cake.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) Goddammit, I edit a post 1 minute after to not get your fat ass to respond and boom. Yes, you're fat cause normal girls can choose. Lay off pound cake. :lmao: I'm soooo fat, it's revolting. (But you know you'd like to play with my rollies :love: ) Aw... I shouldn't play with you. You're probably really just hurt and here I am making it worse. Sorry. I really do think you need to work on yourself though =/ Only then will you find satisfaction within a relationship... Edited September 24, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 I'm not hurt anymore. I was hurt when posting 1 week ago and you came in giving me a lecture. Right now I just feel like nothing has moved but the timeclock. That's like the feeling you get after you watch a ****ty movie with lots of commercials. Mehhh....
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 There are lots of vital things I need to get done in life, and getting a girl shouldn't be a priority. I will be able to change myself physically and mentally if I just focus on things I need to be focusing on.
Nexus One Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) As to Onyxsnowfalls, f*ck you and you're still dating a loser cause normal guys won't go for you. Goddammit, I edit a post 1 minute after to not get your fat ass to respond and boom. Yes, you're fat cause normal girls can choose. Lay off pound cake. Bitter much? There are lots of vital things I need to get done in life, and getting a girl shouldn't be a priority. I will be able to change myself physically and mentally if I just focus on things I need to be focusing on. That post just made me smile man, I mean lol, to think that song applies to you is so ridiculous. If anything you act like the blonde dude with the black karate suit in the movie, i.e. the guy that played dirty. If you've seen the movie and I presume you did, then you know he got his ass kicked by the honest kid. Edited September 24, 2011 by Nexus One
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 @Nexus One Shut up, nerd. That's about all I have to say to you.
Nexus One Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 @Nexus One Shut up, nerd. That's about all I have to say to you. You take it to that level because you got nothing on me or my arguments. It's a display of weakness of character on your side.
Jynxx Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 You take it to that level because you got nothing on me or my arguments. It's a display of weakness of character on your side. While his tone is obviously inappropriate, I still have to say since your main argument more or less comes down to "it's unethical because I say it is unethical" and you just ignore reasonable arguments other people (me) bring in, there's very little else to tell you.
Nexus One Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 (edited) While his tone is obviously inappropriate, I still have to say since your main argument more or less comes down to "it's unethical because I say it is unethical" and you just ignore reasonable arguments other people (me) bring in, there's very little else to tell you. I don't think it's unethical just because I say it is. I think it's unethical because it can create problems and hurt people. That's why I think one shouldn't come between two lovers and destroy their relationship. Like OP said, he didn't think the boyfriend was much of a threat. That already shows he knows he shouldn't be doing that, but he does it because he can get away with it. He wouldn't have had the guts to do it if the boyfriend would tear him in half. You guys only look at this from your own perspective, i.e. "What can I gain?". Again this is something that can be so easily solved by simply hitting on women who are single. It would probably take you less effort to win over a woman who is single too, because she isn't already in a relationship. Edited September 25, 2011 by Nexus One
Jynxx Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I think it's unethical because it can create problems and hurt people. Fair enough. But then again, most things you do can create problems and hurt people, if you were only allowed to play it safe and do things that couldn't create a single problem and couldn't possibly hurt anyones feelings, life would be unbelievably boring. Like OP said, he didn't think the boyfriend was much of a threat. But he wouldn't have had the guts to do it if the boyfriend would tear him in half. That already shows he knows he shouldn't be doing that That doesn't make any sense. I don't walk through a certain part of town alone at night because I know bad things could happen to me, does that mean I think walking through parts of town at night is unethical or immoral? Or is it because I'm aware not all people play by "the rules" and I have to watch out for my personal safety? As much as I think I would have the right to do that, I'm not willing to get stabbed to try to prove a point. but he does it because he can get away with it, not because he thinks the boyfriend wouldn't mind. Of course he realises the boyfriend would mind, but once again if you would spend your life avoiding things that could upset people it wouldn't be a pleasant experience. You guys only look at this from your own perspective, i.e. "What can I gain?". Not really. See, if the girl chooses op she by definition "gains" as well, otherwise she wouldn't make the switch in the first place. It would probably take you less effort to win over a woman who is single too, because she isn't already in a relationship. It would take even less effort hitting on unattractive women. Your point being?
Nexus One Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Fair enough. But then again, most things you do can create problems and hurt people, if you were only allowed to play it safe and do things that couldn't create a single problem and couldn't possibly hurt anyones feelings, life would be unbelievably boring. So you're saying you're willing to destroy someone else's relationship, create hurt in the process...because it makes life less boring? That brings me back to my original argument, i.e.: It's unethical.
Recommended Posts