Author browndog319 Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Question? Do you plan on going NC with him after this, or will you two keep intouch through emails and calls? I hope you're able to let go and move on in every way (no calls, emails, texts).. Hope you get that job! Good luck! Will have formal offer Tuesday at the latest! Thank you! I haven't got a formal NC plan at this point. What I do know is that I don't look at my phone longing for his texts. I've moved beyond that. I will always care about him. But I'm not pining for him. I will not reach out to him. But I don't know if I could reject his Emails. I don't know. It's far, far less. I probably should, but at this point I feel it's overkill since I feel we know it's done.
NoIDidn't Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Interesting questions - what could his ulterior motive be? We live 800 miles apart. I am certainly not going to visit TN and risking running into his family and God knows he is not going to upset his apple cart and come to PA to visit me! I guess he may, but I'm not seeing what possible ulterior motives there could be... I could have seen him throwing some behavioral ambiguity in there, an area for development that would not have been negative, but would have jeopardized the position if he wanted to keep me where he would have access to me. That was a risk with him - But I knew deep down he was a professional and fiercely loyal. The relationship wasn't going to come out. Regardless, it has nothing to do with my professional ability. It's not like I slept with him to get a job or power. And we worked together amazingly well, very productive relationship. A lot of workplace relationships blossom - we have a policy that as long as it's not a direct reporting situation, it's fine. I didn't think he had ulterior motives, it just seems like others were responding that he might. I can understand their cynicism.
pureinheart Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I work with the MM - he is field based and I am in our corporate HQ. Downsizing has been expected for most of the year, and between that and just feeling like not working with the MM anymore will be key to moving on, I've been looking for a new job. However, MM has said he would give me a glowing reference when the time came although it would be bittersweet. Well the time came. I heard from him he got grilled for 45 minutes (yikes!) and from the recruiter that my references were GLOWING and showed that I really impacted business and worked well with my colleagues. Apparently MM's was the best. He called me last night because I sent him and the four other references a heads up to let them know who would be calling - very professional and in no way flirtatious. I had already put his name down before we ended things and also, he is in a great position to demonstrate how I partner with sales. He said it was going to be brutal to lose me as a business partner and everything else, but he would do his best and he couldn't do anything but speak the truth because no matter what, I had been the most loyal and trustworthy person he'd ever known and he would love me for the rest of his life. If this is what I wanted for my career, he would make sure I got it. And today he was unselfish and spoke highly of me. It is making me feel so good about what we shared in the past year. I don't regret it, I can never hate him, and I'm so glad I can feel this way about him. Wow, this is awesome. IMO he had no ulterior motive except to be nice AND tell the TRUTH about you! Good luck BD and thank you so much for sharing your good news with us!
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