ludovico Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Did the Facebook creep today and found out my ex is still with her "rebound"... I know, I know, bad Ludovico I blocked them from my account so I stop torturing myself... Originally I thought he was a rebound because she began distancing herself from me in the last year of our 5+ yr relationship and started dating this guy as soon as she dumped me, and then strung me along for 3 months while with this new guy... But now it's 20 months after the breakup and they are still together - not that it's even any of my business, but is that still considered a rebound??
confusedandupset Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I hate to say it, but it doesn't sound like one. I was in a similar situation with my ex ex boyfriend. There was a girl he seemed to be interested in, but of course he wasn't. As soon as we broke up they immediately started dating, for two years. I wanted to believe it was just a rebound relationship, but it wasn't....at least not for them. He didn't stay with the girl, but he also never came back to me. He strung me along for 9 mths after his relationship with her ended. All those feelings he had completely forgotten about SUDDENLY reappeared. Then he dropped all contact with me, and I heard from that ex (we became friends) that he'd met someone at the job he had started while he was stringing me along (they are married now). He's made few instances at contact, but I now know to keep my distance.
thehead Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 This isn't what I'd call a rebound but definitions will vary. I consider a rebound someone my ex quickly gets into a relationship with, in an impulsive way so she doesn't have to be alone or w/e. People leave a relationship and wind up finding The One. In a way it's be healthy for you to figure this is what happened, if it will help you move on.
Duckduckgoose Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Whether this guy is a rebound or not isn't your concern. I personally think that yes he is a rebound. Rebounds don't have to end quickly, hell they can last years! But those years will probably be miserable. Don't you worry about how she's doing with Mr. Whoeverheis though. Just worry about yourself. She got 5 years of YOUR life and threw it away like so much garbage. She doesn't get any more.
Author ludovico Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 thanks for your replies everyone... it's been a tough day... it's funny because finding that out today filled me with not really sadness as much as white-hot rage... good thing I cut her off months ago... yeesh! LOL
ken_25 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 it can be a rebound, it really depends. your ex may not have the courage to break it off with this other guy, even though she may feel he isn't the one or doesn't truly love him, etc. you really can't know, but don't just look at how long they've been together for an answer, that doesn't always tell the story. my ex broke it off with me after 3 1/2 years, I feel that I was just a rebound for her.
health Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Did the Facebook creep today and found out my ex is still with her "rebound"... I know, I know, bad Ludovico I blocked them from my account so I stop torturing myself... Originally I thought he was a rebound because she began distancing herself from me in the last year of our 5+ yr relationship and started dating this guy as soon as she dumped me, and then strung me along for 3 months while with this new guy... But now it's 20 months after the breakup and they are still together - not that it's even any of my business, but is that still considered a rebound?? I think it is still a rebound. A rebound doesn't stop being one after it drags on. I was with my ex for 5 years too! She jumped into something as soon as we were done cause she couldn't handle being alone. What happens to those people - they never fully process the pain and grief - alot of them go from one relationship to another till their empty shells and it really hits them what love really is. I mean - people can use them to heal and move on but the problem with getting involed too quick is - they're scared of that relationship ending - cause it's almost way more painful they deal with the first break up pain, and the next! As for you I would say stop snooping, I snooped today myself. My ex is in a bad place from what I hear - welfare, the guy she;s with is an alcoholic etc But I wish her the best. It sucks, but keep moving forward. You don't needa girl like that - thank God you didn't marry her and have kids - check the divorce forum and you'll see your issue in perspective.
Author ludovico Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 yea, being naive, i was also her rebound when we first started dating - so i see the patternistic behavior she exhibits and i'm sure she will eventually get bored and do the exact same thing to this guy... part of me thinks she'll never be truly happy - which I guess, in a sense is comforting for me especially after how she treated me... but in another sense its really sad...
health Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 That's why I would never take a girl from another guy, or deal with a girl fresh out of a relationship. Thing is with mine - she was single for 2 years and so was I before started dating - so I didn't see it happen. It's life though.
sleepykitten Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 It could still be a rebound-I was with my rebound guy for just a few weeks short of 2 yrs. Some people are with rebounds for yrs because they havent dealt with any of theyre issues and insecurities, i know i hadnt, this is why I am finding this break up so hard it raises stuff independent of that person, i have nothing to hide behind as i am consciously not numbing it with exessive drinking, going on the pull, shopping, etc or any other avoidence tactics.
radiodarcy Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Whether this guy is a rebound or not isn't your concern. I personally think that yes he is a rebound. Rebounds don't have to end quickly, hell they can last years! But those years will probably be miserable. Don't you worry about how she's doing with Mr. Whoeverheis though. Just worry about yourself. She got 5 years of YOUR life and threw it away like so much garbage. She doesn't get any more. i agree! it doesn't matter if it's a rebound or not. as long as you continue to view her current relationship as a rebound, the more you're allowing yourself to cling to hope that there is still a chance; and not allowing yourself to move forward. don't do that to yourself. just continue with your healing and moving forward. good move on blocking her and the new guy from your facebook thread
ScienceGal Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I should have done this long ago, but I just untagged myself from some photos of me and the ex on fb. He left me, but never took the photos down. He has new photos up from this past weekend with the woman he is seeing now. That was tough to see. And he looks bad, like god awful and as though he isn't taking care of himself. Ugh. I don't know how to classify a rebound. I'd say if someone clings to someone new but still harbors stronger feelings for an ex, then that is a rebound. That could go on a long time for many reasons. Or, it can be a series of jumping from one to another. The ex they care about might be you, but that doesn't mean that they're coming back... and it doesn't mean that it would work out even if they did .
Author ludovico Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 ya, i still think it's a rebound and I still think that she's a dumbass for letting me go, and yes, I do have to stop thinking about it so much - just move on it was a rough week/weekend and I talked to a buddy of mine about it... this is how the conversation went... me: "she's still with that guy..." him: "really?! thats great!!" me: "why's that great??" him: "because - they're obviously both stupid" me: "how so?" him: "well, you are rational and smart - and she didnt want you. she wanted someone she could relate to better. so, her being crazy and stupid, she's attracted to the same thing... they're both crazy and stupid so it works for them!" kinda puts things in perspective
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