Author His4Always Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 In m humble opinion, I really don't think that it's okay for people to start a thread and then specify that they only want certain types/tones of responses. Isn't this a public forum, and people are free to post whatever they like? If it is not useful to the person who started the thread, they can certainly exercise their right to ignore the posts they feel don't apply to them and move on. Sometimes a thread seems to take on a life of it's own, which, at least to me, sometimes seems to provide the post useful information. After all, if you only want certain types/tones of responses, why even bother posting at all? ( in other words, if all you want is positive responses, then you may find that isn't what you get ...ignore what you don't agree with and move on...don't chide people if they aren't giving the kind of responses you are looking for) i would also suggest that if someone posts a negative response, it may very well be because they have had some bad experiences they hope others can learn from. I don't think that ( in most cases) they are trying to be disrespectful or mean, they really are trying to help.You are right frozenspouts. It was wrong of me to make the thread exclusive to AP. I am sorry for that. If anyone was offended by it, please accept my apologies. Please, everyone, please share the things you love about that special person in you life.
Author His4Always Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 But when one posts, one should expect truthful answers. She asked why the thread isn't positive, and my answer is that there is nothing positive about affairs. And I am speaking as a former OW who married her man, then became the BS. I know both sides and there isn't anything pretty or positive about it. Hi Angelina, There had to have been something positive about it at one time. Otherwise, you would not have married your AP. I am very sorry you are hurting.
Angelina527 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Hi Angelina, There had to have been something positive about it at one time. Otherwise, you would not have married your AP. I am very sorry you are hurting. Sure there was something positive about it, or so I thought. Now, looking back, I see that what we did to his ex wife had long reaching effects on our relationship. Now I understand that what was "positive" for us (in reality it wasn't, it just seemed so), wasn't positive for another innocent human being. Let me tell you, neither of us looks back to those days and reminisce about the wonderful lovemaking, etc. No, when we look back on those days now, we are both disgusted with ourselves and want to just forget that part of our relationship. What seems positive isn't necessarily so. You may think that what the two of you have together is a good thing, but remember this...it comes at someone else's expense, and one day YOU will be the one paying the price. Again, there is NOTHING positive about affairs. Nothing.
Author His4Always Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Sure there was something positive about it, or so I thought. Now, looking back, I see that what we did to his ex wife had long reaching effects on our relationship. Now I understand that what was "positive" for us (in reality it wasn't, it just seemed so), wasn't positive for another innocent human being. Let me tell you, neither of us looks back to those days and reminisce about the wonderful lovemaking, etc. No, when we look back on those days now, we are both disgusted with ourselves and want to just forget that part of our relationship. What seems positive isn't necessarily so. You may think that what the two of you have together is a good thing, but remember this...it comes at someone else's expense, and one day YOU will be the one paying the price. Again, there is NOTHING positive about affairs. Nothing.His W knows that we are seeing each other, and he is a very attentive and devoted father. I'm not sure how our EMR is coming at someone else's expense, but I do understand that that happens when the R is hidden.
Angelina527 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 His W knows that we are seeing each other, and he is a very attentive and devoted father. I'm not sure how our EMR is coming at someone else's expense, but I do understand that that happens when the R is hidden. Just because she knows doesn't mean that she's not hurting. Just because she knows, doesn't mean that it's what she wants.
herenow Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) I feel great too. This past weekend was so wonderful. We had a very special celebration. My H took me to one of my favorite hotels. He thought of everything. Wine and cheese in the room when we arrived. Spa and dinner reservations. Even a private yoga session at the gym. I guess it was to limber me up or the evening festivities. What do I love about him? I love that he loves me enough to make significant life changes to save our marriage. I love that he gave me the space to make the best decision for me. I love that he shows me love with actions and not just words. I love that he is strong enough to accept his faults and deal with them. And, he is accepting of my faults and knows that I am doing what I need to do to deal with my own issues. I love that he realizes I am an independent woman, but at the same time, I need him. I love the sex, but more important, I love that it comes from a loving place. Oh, I could go on and on, but it's not the Herenow forum, so I will stop here and let others post about their love. Edited September 22, 2011 by herenow
herenow Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 His W knows that we are seeing each other, and he is a very attentive and devoted father. I'm not sure how our EMR is coming at someone else's expense, but I do understand that that happens when the R is hidden. Wow, this guy has it made. His wife (who knows about you) stays with him as you wait for him to leave. He has more power than any of the magical BW's I hear so much about.
NoIDidn't Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Just because she knows doesn't mean that she's not hurting. Just because she knows, doesn't mean that it's what she wants. I agree. But it appears to be her choice. Hopefully this W will get the courage to stop sacrificing herself for her kids and appearances and file for divorce, or at least start her own romantic relationship with someone else.
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 His W knows that we are seeing each other, and he is a very attentive and devoted father. I'm not sure how our EMR is coming at someone else's expense, but I do understand that that happens when the R is hidden. Have you confirmed this? Met her, spoken to her about this? If no, then the chances are very high he's lied to you about her knowing the truth. So they have an open relationship? Well that's not an affair. IF this part is actually true, (though I doubt it) then I hope his wife is dating someone as well, having her fun and having a side dish like he is.
herenow Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I agree. But it appears to be her choice. Hopefully this W will get the courage to stop sacrificing herself for her kids and appearances and file for divorce' date=' or at least start her own romantic relationship with someone else.[/quote'] Maybe she has already started her own affair. Kids are not stupid. They often know when something is not quite right. Then they take that insecurity into their own relationships. So sad. So very sad. But, that is what happens when adults do what they want without thinking about the ramifications. As always JMO.
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