Lucky555 Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 His place on hi birthday. I tell him I will do this and we can celebrate he makes sure to tell me we can celebrate later then he makes up an excuse! Well I know it's because he will celebrate with his family! He has not introduced me...going on 11 months!!!!!!! So I'm holding in a lot. I am no longer making contact to him I wait for him to contact me. I'm hoping he sees that he has not been giving enough! This past weekend he did take me places and paid for coffee but I still got the vibe he wanted me gone the next day..this is him... "so u want to stay longer?" "or did u want to leave early?" Followed by "what do u want to do?" me: " I don't know what I want to do how about u make a decision this time" him:"well your the one who wants to do something usually". Then he will be like "u staying till noon or later?".. I'm like what the heck!! Are those not words to say leave?! So I'm hanging in there right now. I don't know what to make of my situation. I feel like it's not going anywhere given financial issues he has, not being introduced to family, and I don't know :/ I feel more detached and he doesn't seem to care if I stay ith him or not when I see him. It was a total of 23 hours in which 8 of those we Slept! How can I get this moving forward, to me it sounds like he doesn't want to! I have introduced him to my family and did a trip with relatives too. Is it time to stop staying over in order to change this or leave!
Cypress25 Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Leave. I'm sorry, hon, but he's just not that into you. Instead of wasting so much time and energy on someone who doesn't even like you, why don't you find someone who would love to spend time with you? There are better guys out there for you.
maylis Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Couldn't you just ask him what is up rather than ignoring him? Maybe it is obvious to you but not to him, so ignoring him and waiting for him to come to you..I don't know, it doesn't seem like it would solve anything.
maylis Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Also the time I had an experience like this it was with a guy who was using me only for sex.
Author Lucky555 Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 Also the time I had an experience like this it was with a guy who was using me only for sex. Ya I feel like this is happening..I don't see any progression or doing anything special! So it's like I see him for 23 hours and it was food, tv, sex, and I "had" to ask to go to a store. I'm checking out I feel it. I know I need to talk to him for sure. Three weeks ago I did ask what is going on he could only say he "liked" me and wanted it to go slow.. But when I was going to get a high paying job he wanted me to move in! So I see he looks out for his interests! I feel compelled to not talk to him only because he knows how I feel and what I want. I don't feel as though talking about the relationshi will solve anything since I talked three weeks ago about it. He makes excuses. I hate it. Everyone I have talked to hear says leave. Last time I was going to leave he said he didn't feel like I gave it a chance. When I initially see him he is really really attentive and then it's like he gets what he wants and treats me differently . Plus not being in his life more than a day is awful Ok I have legit reasons. Phew. I think no contact will help my choice.
maylis Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Ya I feel like this is happening..I don't see any progression or doing anything special! So it's like I see him for 23 hours and it was food, tv, sex, and I "had" to ask to go to a store. I'm checking out I feel it. I know I need to talk to him for sure. Three weeks ago I did ask what is going on he could only say he "liked" me and wanted it to go slow.. But when I was going to get a high paying job he wanted me to move in! So I see he looks out for his interests! I feel compelled to not talk to him only because he knows how I feel and what I want. I don't feel as though talking about the relationshi will solve anything since I talked three weeks ago about it. He makes excuses. I hate it. Everyone I have talked to hear says leave. Last time I was going to leave he said he didn't feel like I gave it a chance. When I initially see him he is really really attentive and then it's like he gets what he wants and treats me differently . Plus not being in his life more than a day is awful Ok I have legit reasons. Phew. I think no contact will help my choice. Yes this is full of red flags, I think it would be better to move on!
whichwayisup Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 There's something wrong here if you haven't met his family and you've been with him for 11 months. There's something wrong that he doesn't want you over to say happy birthday to him. He is pushy and wants you to leave by a certain time.. Not good..Hate to say it but it sounds like he's met someone else and seeing both of you. Talk to him and lay it out on the line. Or break up with him because he certainly doesn't seem too invested in you and the relationship. You two are on different pages, that's for sure!
whichwayisup Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 So it's like I see him for 23 hours and it was food, tv, sex, and I "had" to ask to go to a store. Can you explain this one with more detail? What do you mean you "had" to ask to go to a store? This guy sounds like a real dud and not worth your effort.
Hot Chick Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 This will be very liberating to you - you can leave this "relationship." He is making you sad. I agree with you that it is not a "way out there" concept that a guy would invite his girlfriend to meet his parents and attend his birthday party with them after being together 11 months. I think it is doomed and he will never really commit to a relationship with you, and worse, he will never treat you like he loves you.. he hasn't yet and it's 11 months in. Time to rip off the bandaid and find a guy who will love and appreciate you like you deserve.
Author Lucky555 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Well he claimed his mom interferes. (but at some point isn't it right to be introduced?) if not his mom then the rest of his family or a family member? 2.it was a definite no to go to his place and I was going to make him dinner :/. 3. About asking to go to a store..I wanted to do something where we didn't stay in bed and he kept asking me what I wanted to do :/ 4.tonight. I asked to do more bonding things, ails mentioned a whole weekend together just to see what he would say and he never commented on it. 5. He talks to me every night. He is not seeing anyone else it's mainly on the weekends we both have some time and there are occassions where he has to work. I just don't like when he has a day off and he is asking me when I want to leave! 6. He is not in love. 7. It stinks because he acts like he is willin to do what it takes when I talk about something but his actions show otherwise like on the weekend :/ when he asks me what to do or when Im leaving...or what I have planned for my day Ya I dont want to waste time I know this. I want him to be serious about me and it's not happening.
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Number 6. He's not in love after 11 months..You're wasting your precious time and love and energy on someone who doesn't feel the same way. He cares about you, likes you and could be attached to you, but that isn't the same as truly being in love. Just my 3 cents, but get in the mindset of ending the relationship. He isn't worth it.
Hot Chick Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 whichway is up is right. Has he outright told you he is not in love? That is the same as him telling you not to expect a lot from him, especially after almost a year of being together. Can you stand the aspect of being broken up with him? Wouldn't that be better than being unhappy in the relationship you are in?
shrubs Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Well he claimed his mom interferes. (but at some point isn't it right to be introduced?) if not his mom then the rest of his family or a family member? 2.it was a definite no to go to his place and I was going to make him dinner :/. 3. About asking to go to a store..I wanted to do something where we didn't stay in bed and he kept asking me what I wanted to do :/ 4.tonight. I asked to do more bonding things, ails mentioned a whole weekend together just to see what he would say and he never commented on it. 5. He talks to me every night. He is not seeing anyone else it's mainly on the weekends we both have some time and there are occassions where he has to work. I just don't like when he has a day off and he is asking me when I want to leave! 6. He is not in love. 7. It stinks because he acts like he is willin to do what it takes when I talk about something but his actions show otherwise like on the weekend :/ when he asks me what to do or when Im leaving...or what I have planned for my day Ya I dont want to waste time I know this. I want him to be serious about me and it's not happening. stop it. just get a new boyfriend. youve waitd 11 months to long already.
snug.bunny Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 From the sound of it, if you choose to stay with him, it will eventually destroy your self esteem (if not already)...
Imajerk17 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Lucky555, we're getting tired of your whining. This is your fault. You are the one who keeps staying. Take some responsibility for your choices and end it.
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