lisajc0586 Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 My name is Lisa I am 17 and I live in Illinois. I had been dating a guy my age for almost two years. He broke up with me because he is going to college and he just wants to enjoy being a kid while he still can. Plus he wants to feel free when he goes to college. Yet he wants to be best friends! He also still wants to date me! But he doesnt want the official boyfriend-girlfriend title like we used to have. Its all kind of confusing. I want him back so bad! He also lived with me and my family for about six months while his dad and his step mom were going through a nasty divorce. He loves my family and he comes over all the time! Well that isnt going to make him miss me is it>? I just want to know some ways to get a guy back, I love him soooooo much!! HELP!
dreaming4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Wow, I just got deja-vu! I was kind of in your situation a month and a half ago. My boyfriend at the time broke up with me and I came on here begging people to tell me how to win him back. All I can say is that you can't win him back unless he wants YOU back...you can't force someone to love you enough to want to stay in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship with you. I know it sucks, believe me, I thought I was going to marry the guy that I was with. My ex also wants to be my best friend now that he broke up with me (just like yours). I'm finding this VERY difficult....even seeing him is difficult....it just creates a lot of hurt. How can you be best friends with someone when every time you're with them you're wishing you were theirs and they were yours for good? If your ex is going to college soon and wants to be free I'm guessing he doesn't want a girlfriend and wants to be able to experiment with other girls. So, even if you DID win him back...how would you know he wouldn't cheat on you while he's at school? NOT a good idea.
bluechocolate Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 It's not confusing. This guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to believe that they aren't any consequences for his actions. He can get rid of the exclusivity of your relationship so he's free to fool around and at the same time free to date you whenever he chooses to do so. And you know the sad truth is that many people use this ruse because they think it's letting the other one down easy. When it fact what it does is provide false hope and prolong the agony. If you want more out of this relationship than "just being friends" and the casual date when he's back from college then let him go completely. People can't just turn off their feelings & suddenly become "just friends", especially friends who casually date! How many of your friends do you casually date? So what if he loves your family? His relationship with your family came about because of his relationship with you. You love him & he's hurt you. He has no right to expect that he can just waltz in and out of your life and your family whenever it is convenient for him to do so. You're not going to win him back by letting him have his way on this. As hard as it's going to be you have to end the relationship permanently (no "friends" & no contact) and let him sow his wild oats at college.
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