sid3 Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Does anyone have any advice or experience when it comes to falling out of love. I was dumped (such an ugly word)) around the holidays. My hope of getting back with my x has kept me from healing. I hate the no contact rule, but am following it, except for a few emails a few weeks back.They weren't returned, better no reply than a nasty one I suppose. I am tired of being so depressed and unhappy. I'm beginning to think I keep the hope alive so I don't have to come to terms with the fact that she may be gone forever. I'm confused, I don't want to fall out of love with this person; if it is even possible to do so. But I am wanting what is best for my emmotional health. I don't know what to do, I regret not realizing how much the loss of love hurts when I started this relationship. If nothing else I have learned a hard lesson. I miss her as much as I did 4 months ago, is that normal? I can't even understand how I can still love and want to share my life with someone who caused me so much pain. I guess it's my compassionate personality. So much talk about moving on, I guess some people can and some of us can't.
sweetadeline Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Hi sid3, I feel for you. I got dumped much more recently and still ache as well--every time I think I'm getting better, I find myself crying out of nowhere. But like you, I'm starting to feel that I need to force/encourage myself to move on. There is a book called *How to Fall Out of Love* that I've heard good things about. If you check it out, let me know if it helps! Good luck to you, and remember, you ain't alone. sweetadeline
Author sid3 Posted May 13, 2004 Author Posted May 13, 2004 Thanks, I have found that I am not alone. This website has shown me that. I wish I knew about it when I was going thru my break up. I think alot of the advice may have enabled me to act differently. If you had asked me about emmotional health a year, even six months ago I would have laughed. Now I realize it is essence of a happy life.
dudesomewhere Posted May 13, 2004 Posted May 13, 2004 If I loved someone and they died my love for them would still exist, undaunted. but sometimes you can fall out of love, even if i you have to force yourself to. If someone wronged you then look at those wrongs to help you understand. However if they simply said things were over you'll have to do that strictly within. If someone wronged you, they did not love you, so why love someone who never loved you. You would be living a lie. Tell yourself that you loved them when you thought they loved you, but realized they never did so that love was all based off of lies. This one thing can help though. Try writing a journal, it doesn't have to be online, you can just do it as a *.doc file. Type as if you are talking to that person or type as if you are telling a story. All you need is a way to let the feelings out and sometimes doing this alone is all you need.
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