Ex finally gives me answers as to why it wont work..is there a chance?

[proteinshake25]

I went to see her at work, yes unannounced. I know, wrong thing to do.The breakup was over 8 months ago, she finally tells me that we cant be together, and she cant be with a guy with a hectic work schedule like mine, cant be with me for the things I said to her(we both had some very verbal abusive exchanges). She made a remark that it was my fault for the b/u and it shouldnt have happened. It is my fault, I initated it. I feel there is hope though. I told her I'd cut my work hours, and she got upset, like it's now hurting her to hear the things I should've said long ago before she met her new bf. She didnt cry, but I can see loads of hurt left in her eyes. I guess it still gave me hope that she would even say thoose things, and show herself still being hurt. That was over a month ago, i've been nc since, but feel like their is still a chance. I still feel like there is alot of loving feelings that she still needs to hear from me. Thoughts?

[radiodarcy]

i'm a little confused. you think there is a chance because she's hurt by stuff you said that she would have liked to have heard in the past - - but it's presumably - - too late in the game now?

 

if that's the case then i'd be inclined to disagree with you. if anything all you did was drive the knife even further. how is that helping anyone?

[XmaryfeyX]

1) When a woman says she can't be with you because of a hectic work schedule it is absolute bull****. You love someone, you MAKE time to see them right? Simple.

 

2) The things you said to her, they were terrible right? How long did you leave in between saying them and seeing her, telling her you were sorry? Because every single day after the argument where you verbally hurt a woman that you don't apologise to, you are making matters worse x10.

 

3) You've done well to go NC for a month, please don't break under pressure and cave in, I know it's easier said than done.

 

She's got a new boyfriend? It must be hard, but she's moved on.

If you love her, just let her go and stop digging up old feelings, for your sake and hers. If you still feel like you have something to say then say that's you're sorry and that you should have fixed things sooner rather than later and that you will always regret that. Tell her you want to be happy (even if it's not totally true at this point in time). She will think better of you for it.

 

Good luck.

[The_Good_Me]

I'm sorry mate but I don't think there is a chance left for you and her, not right now anyway.

 

When a girl is with another guy, even if it's a rebound, during that period they are invested in that relationship and have moved on from you.

 

I wouldn't dwell on how she may have been hurt a little when you said you had fixed certain things that she didn't like about the relationship. If it had really made a difference to her I am sure she would have been in contact by now.

 

Stay NC, keep improving yourself and try to accept not being with this girl. If you truly love her then let her go.

 

Good luck mate.