Gentlegirl Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 He said he felt as though he was pretending the whole time and just praying that he would start feeling normal in the future. He said he had put his feelings for me into a box and nailed it firmly shut. He would open it one day when he was alone and could grieve properly. I don't think for one moment he had it easier than I did. His W knew something and was watching his every breath. Don't think he ever 'fessed up and probably still bears the burden of this inside too. I wasn't under scrutiny and at least had a few friends I told, plus you wonderful folk on LS. Gentlegirl.
nonamefornow Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I haven't ever been on the MW/MM side, but it does seem logical that it would be harder for the OW/OM to get over. I've heard from my xMM several times and he cries and talks about how difficult this is for him. I can't feel what's going on in his heart so I can't say if it's harder for him or for me. I think the reasons you stated are correct though. The OW/OM doesn't have a soft place to land. When my A ended, I didn't have someone who loves me and knows me to go home to. Also, you are right about the A being a central factor in my life. It was what I spent a lot of time thinking about, dreaming about and enjoying. I didn't have another R to spread my focus. I agree with the above, he can go back to his life, family, friendships with ease, as he's obviously used to it having lived a lie for some time and can separate the 2 things as usual....meanwhile I sit alone at home, wondering if I could even face a date with anyone else.....my fault I guess for building more out of it in my head....
Silly_Girl Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I agree with the above, he can go back to his life, family, friendships with ease, as he's obviously used to it having lived a lie for some time and can separate the 2 things as usual....meanwhile I sit alone at home, wondering if I could even face a date with anyone else.....my fault I guess for building more out of it in my head.... It's not your fault, noname. You saw what you saw because it was there. You didn't sit at home fabricating this and you didn't make him behave how he did. Your mind will just need some time to readjust and process. Don't be hard on yourself.
kareena Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Although I believe it would be painful for both of them,I do agree that the AP would get more hurt in most cases.I think that if my MM and I called it quits,he would be hurt and upset but the fact that he has a wife and family to keep him busy would be a good distraction and he would go on with his life,while I would be devastated to the point where I would not want to live anymore..
Recommended Posts