1Dunno Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 So I've been maintaining NC/LC with the ex as much as I can given my situation. For some reason the thought that she still likes me continues to pop into my head, and that it's just her ego/stubbornness stopping her from acting on it. I know deep down that this is absolute nonsense. I would never act on such a thought. But for some reason it kind of gives me an ego boost thinking it. Is this a healthy coping mechanism? Thoughts?
worldgonewrong Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 If she liked you, she'd want to spend time and be with you. It's a coping mechanism bound to self-destruct. Sorry. I speak from experience, as I've had similar coping mechanisms like that fall apart when the realization hits.
ScienceGal Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I think the same thing about my ex. But, the reality is that he is not going to come back... he has a gigantic ego! I figure when I am ready to move on I will, regardless of whether he truly still cares for me or not. The fact that you will not act on these thoughts is good. Just keep moving forward. IMO, I think once you find someone else to invest your time and feelings in, then those thoughts of your ex will fade. No one wants to be alone, and our exes are the last people who cared for us and who we still care about. So... we cling to that familiar connection. It's normal. My problem is waiting for someone new that is decent
ameliapond Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I so know what you are going through. I keep thinking the same - it was a long distance relationship and as my day to day hasn't changed I keep having these thoughts. Haven't acted on them but boy it's tempting.........
ConfusedT Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 OMG- i was in denial until yesterday! i exactly know what you are feeling. DO NOT DENY YOUR FEELINGS!!! be honest with yourself and let yourself feel exactly what you are dealing with. feel every ounce of hurt, pain, sorrow and push your way through it. do NOT cover it up with a fake smile or a fake impression that everything is ok. you are the only one who can get through this, but you cant get through it by pretending. you have to deal with the emotions head on. another thing i found is that hating them and negative energy creates nothing but negativity. i know it sounds cliche, but just learn to forgive, but never forget. love makes you do crazy things! but love will also teach you some powerful lessons if you let it!
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