The Pedestal

[ludovico]

Can anyone tell me why I seem to instantly put women I'm attracted to on a pedestal?

 

For example...

 

There is a girl from my past that I found on Facebook - she was very friendly and flirty when we used to hang out.

 

But I already know that her lifestyle is totally 360 degrees from mine - she parties a lot, smokes weed, is scatterbrained, is extremely social, "i do what i want" life of the party type...

 

But looking at her pictures I'm just blown away at how much fun she is having and how confident she seems and it makes her so attractive to me.

 

Is this because I secretly want to have that type of lifestyle? Or I'm just easily persuaded to give up my morals/boundaries for someone else? Or her confidence is what attracts me?

 

Even browsing the Plenty of Fish ads I'll find women that, from their description, I know I wouldn't mesh with at all but I'm still attracted to them and curious...

 

Maybe I'm just very shallow and superficial???

 

Thoughts?

[smudge21]

I wouldn't class this as putting them on a pedestal, more that you're excited by them and would like to know them better.

 

Putting them on a pedestal generaly comes through dating them and falling in love (or addiction). You only really notice you've put them on a pedestal when the relationship ends and you want to get over them but all you can remember is the good about them. You even start thinking of them as totally amazing and the best person in the world, which is where the pedestal comes in.

 

This one girl you describe with the party atmosphere may be more attractive for you as she's totally different to how you are. Maybe you should just suck it and see... so to speak!

[ludovico]

thanks for the insight smudge...

 

i'm thinking maybe it's like an opposites attract type thing - coupled with a "i can change you/save you" complex that I seem to have... which we all know, is super unhealthy