TheAnt24 Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 (edited) Sorry if this gets long. My name is Anton and I dated this girl April for nine months, and it was a pretty intense relationship. We broke up over some issues about her not being able to confront things. We had a messy breakup after she started dating somebody else similar to my look. She dated him for a very long time, which led to me hurting, but we remained friends, slowly regaining more and more of a friendship. She broke up with him about last July saying how they werent very compatible and they barely talked (In fact, she said she talked to me more than him!) Around August we both confessed our love to eachother and we spent a lot of time together, going camping, skydiving for the first time, among a lot of other stuff. April and I talk for about 3-4 hours a day still, even with our busy schedules and being 3 hours apart. She expressed a lot of fear over getting into a relationship because she just got out of one, but we both still started getting into it, without really calling it one. Less than a week ago, she was still saying how she loved me, until she came to visit me last weekend. She was being very cold and explained to me she can't commit to me or expect me to wait for her because she feels insecure about herself and feels like she can't function without being in a relationship. At the same time, the guy she broke up with is pining back for her, even though she says they're just friends (I believe it because she told me a lot about their relationship and it was really bad). But he still put these thoughts in her head. I have no idea what to do because she told me a lot over how the last year she just tried to suppress her feelings for me. Everything about em came out over the last month, and all of a sudden she drops this bombshell on me, and says she doesn't really love me "romantically." Even when I asked why she told me that, she said she doesnt completely know what she wants. Even despite this, we had an amazing day together, holding hands and I suppose acting coupley as before she dropped the bombshell, but it wasn't all me, she was acting coupley as well. I'm so confused over this and feel like she really does want this, but she has a lot of problems with confidence and overthinking. And I know she's afraid of getting hurt, but when we started dating last month, it was totally different from before. We still talk and are still really close, but it feels like a different kind of connection. Not quite good friends, but not quite a relationship. What should I do??? Edited September 21, 2011 by TheAnt24
silly_panda Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 What does she mean by 'can't function without being in a relationship'..? Does that mean she wanna be in a relationship..? It's clear that she doesn't know what she wants and she has got many problems on her own... With her insecurity and all, even if you are able to get into a relationship with her now, it won't do you any good... She first needs to solve her own problem and be sure of what she wants... This may take months or even years... What I will do is I will give her some space and time... Don't get so close to her... Move on and no, don't wait for her... If you are very determine that you wanna be with her then go get counseling together with her... See how things could work out between you two... Good luck...
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