ny152 Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 hello, I want to try getting some insight into what's happened to me over the the past month or so with this girl I met while I was in Europe. I'll try to keep this short. Well I met her through a cousin. At first I didn't think anything of it since she was much younger then me 8-9 years, I'm 29, and there was no way I was going to get involved with someone that much younger. It's happened before and they just are in a different place in there lives, so it doesn't ever work (for me anyway) BUT it turned out that we ended up spending quite a lot of time together in two weeks I was there (in a group with others, not alone), and I became really attracted to her by the end of the two weeks. Here's the confusing part, each time we were together it was like I got a different person, very hot and cold. Usually (or when she was personality number 1) when I would talk to her she would just gaze into my eyes, she always ended up sitting beside me when we went somewhere (clearly making an effort to get the seat right next to me). One time she got someone to move out of the seat next to me so she could sit there. She would get as close as she possibly could when she was next to me. It just seemed so obvious she was attracted to me; BUT sometimes (personality number 2) it seemed as though she was running away from me, SO WEIRD. I found especially when we were with the group, she would just take off when I tried talking to her. Here's the kicker, two days before I had to leave (I live 8500 kms away) we went to the beach with the same group. When we arrived she barely even looked at me, she was super standoff-ish. After about a couple hours her and some friends decided to go for a walk to a more secluded part of the beach and her friends asked me to come (at that point I was so sure she now hated me, the way she was acting, I almost didn't go). So when we get there she decides she wants to go swimming, so I go in also thinking everyone else will follow... I turn around and everyone is gone! like it was setup! (they were all her friends, so I'm sure they wouldn't do something to annoy her) At this point I was so confused I didn't know what to think! so we start talking in the water, once and a while it seemed as though she was trying to get closer and then she seemed to back off, then I would get closer and she would seem to back off. You have to understand at this point I had no idea what was going on in this girls head, I really wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her, but I REALLY had no idea what to expect! So now here I am looking at her facebook page trying to figure out what happen and why it seems she has no interest to talk to me over email. I sent her an email right after I got home telling her I had a great time and I hinted that I was attracted to her and really couldn't wait to see her again, her response was very cold and plain.... now I don't know what to do because I think of her all the time, and I still have know idea what she was thinking, or is thinking. Now all I'm going off is her facebook status updates, it's pathetic, she's made me pathetic! two days after I left she posted "for me, summer is over" (this was in mid-august) I asked her in an email if she had gone to the beach again, and her response was that she had no interest in going to the beach anymore. I don't know maybe I should just leave it all alone, it's getting to pathetic even for me... Can anyone shed some light???
somethingsimple Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 What I noticed is that girls usually pay attention more to the future than guys. In my opinion, men, like me usually live in the moment kind of thing. So believe me, it probably went in her head that there is two barriers in the way one age and more importantly distance. The distance alone is enough not to want to start a relationship with someone. She must've already thought that out and didn't want to get attached. A defense mechanism of sorts. Next time, you should've just went for it earlier and had more of a vacation fling (not necessarily sex), but more romantic and fun. In my opinion, just forget about her. No use stressing over someone 5000 miles away.
Author ny152 Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 yeah I should have just went for it that day in the water, what a moron... if it would have went bad who cares, at least I wouldn't be in this predicament... I sort of thought this is the explanation I would get, since I sort of already got it form someone else, but I don't think the age thing is the issue since she knew my age from very early on. Could be the distance thing, but why wouldn't you just say? why do women do that? why don't they just say what they're thinking, it would be whole lot easier... maybe a female opinion? why the hot cold?
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