Feelsgoodman Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I, and many of my girlfriends, have found ourselves attracted to men that only had maybe 50% (or less) of the physical traits we like, AFTER we've gotten to know their personality. I don't understand how this works. Do you actually make a detailed list of a guy's physical features, with like/don't like checkboxes next to each and then tally up the results? Does the list go something like this: Nose: like Ears: don't like Penis: like Feet: don't like ... Total: Like = 47.8%; Don't like = 52.3% When I see a woman, I either find her attractive or unattractive. If she has a certain feature I find particularly unattractive (i.e overweight, big nose, short legs, etc.), it automatically puts her in the unattractive camp, regardless of the attractiveness of her other features.
Woggle Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Women are just as bad as men. That is why many are with men that treat them great but feel like they settled.
FitChick Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Men are visual creatures. The way to attract their attention is by being the most attractive "you" you can be. Nothing wrong with self-improvement except it gets more expensive the older you get! I've never had a guy tell me he wished I'd stop making an effort. I just wish men would make more of an effort. As they age it's more about health than just looks. Fat can kill.
norajane Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 What is chemistry, though? I've asked the question before, and get no answer. Is it a fat wallet? It's a mental and physical attraction fueled by our primitive subconscious. A connection between people that isn't about qualifiers - it just exists. It is actually the antithesis of fat wallets, boob size, and all other conscious "qualifiers" someone might have on their "list". It's the opposite of "good on paper, but...".
Sanman Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I agree. Also, someone else said some people are not aware of how attractive they are. I have seen this before. I very briefly dated a drop-dead gorgeous man, my physical ideal in every way, but he seemed to be unaware of how attractive he was. And that made him even more attractive. I seem to have a history of getting involved with guys who don't consider themselves very attractive, as well. I think they're the hottest thing around, and some of my friends will think they're at least cute, but the guy himself is a bit more difficult to convince--he thinks he's on the 'OK' side, while I think he's more than just OK. As I recall Tigress, you tend to date darker skinned men? A lot of Indian guys? This doesn't really follow the white archetype of beauty in the U.S. It is likely that what you find hot many other women do not. Lucky you!
GoodOnPaper Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 It's a mental and physical attraction fueled by our primitive subconscious. A connection between people that isn't about qualifiers - it just exists. So is this something that everyone can find regardless of attractiveness level? I know this sounds cynical, but it strikes me that for a guy to experience true mutual chemistry, he'd probably need to be one who could attract pretty much any woman he wants anyway. For the rest of us, isn't it more likely to face a situation where one partner is settling for the other?
Wolf18 Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 What is this pure nonesense that women aren't visual? Maybe our grandparents' generation, where women had no choice but to "settle" for the generous caring average looking guy and learn to love him later because it was her meal ticket. However, watching TV for 15 minutes (thank god I never do) you will see that almost every commercial and show on TV is directed towards women and they're all shallow as hell. Just now on TV I saw a commercial for Netflix where a bunch of middle aged women are watching a historical movie starring some bodybuilder guy and rewinding a scene where he takes off his shirt back and forth while saying "Wow, this makes me want to become interested in history! HA HA HA HA" . Go look at the men on the shopping bags they give you at various successful clothing stores, all tall square jawed guys who get paid to work out 6 hours a day. So are women all really this shallow, or do they just pretend because its empowering and it's what caricatures of men do according to feminists? I see so many daily examples of good looking men with ugly or fat women. Yet I never see a pretty girl with a guy whose under 5'10 or you can tell has a lot of time to build muscle. The definition of a pretty woman is so much more liberal than one of a good looking man. Most men consider probably half of all women their age to be pretty while women are always crowding around goofass ashton kutcher lookalikes.
ImThinkingWTF Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I see so many daily examples of good looking men with ugly or fat women. Yet I never see a pretty girl with a guy whose under 5'10 or you can tell has a lot of time to build muscle. The definition of a pretty woman is so much more liberal than one of a good looking man. Most men consider probably half of all women their age to be pretty while women are always crowding around goofass ashton kutcher lookalikes. This. I rarely ever see hot girls with ugly boyfriends. It always seems to be the other way around. I met someone on OKC, he lived about 4 hours away so we talked on the phone a lot before we met in person, for about 3 weeks. We had the "chemistry" and I really liked his personality. When we met we got along great but, the physical attraction just was not there for me. I thought maybe his looks would grow on me so I hung out with him 2 more times after that but, I just couldnt make myself be physically attracted to him. I think men maybe more willing to deal with what other people dont consider attractive. Just like the skinny guys with the girlfriends with huge butts. What looks attractive isnt always what feels the best.
Content Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 The idea women arent visual is hillarious, advertisers market towards women because women are super visual I dont see how women are less shallow then Men,women seem to think if they arent dating a model that looks dont matetr to them and they should be applauded:laugh:
PJKino Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Women arent shallow or visual? lol...You ladies are something else
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I, and many of my girlfriends, have found ourselves attracted to men that only had maybe 50% (or less) of the physical traits we like, AFTER we've gotten to know their personality. We could see ourselves giving these guys a real chance. However, of the men I know, they all seem to want a woman who is at least 90% of their ideal in the looks department. I know everyone has their deal breakers and things they are willing to let slide. But, IN GENERAL, are women more willing than men to date someone who doesn't match their ideal physical traits? You need to take into account that most guys are attracted to 50-60% of the female population at least. The average woman only finds 10% of the male population attractive. So it makes sense that women should be more apt to compromise on this... mostly because their standards of attraction are very high.
Recommended Posts