Break up with no problems (needs time to find out who she is...)

[DazyDaisy]

You couldn't be more right. I guess if she actually cared she would not have done this.

 

I actually cried for the first time last night when I was writing her a messsage...Finally realizing it was over really got to me. Here is what I have written. Do you think it is too much...Ii have not sent it yet.

 

"I don't even know how to tell you how I am feeling but I will try my best. I have postponed this message because I know how much worse it will hurt after I say what I need to say. It still doesn't feel real to me.

 

From the day I met you I always knew you were the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I've never had a single doubt about it. The person who I loved with everything I had in me and my best friend, that I could do anything with and still be happy. This came as a complete shock to me and I will never completely understand why you did this. I had everything invested in this relationship. I just don't understand that within the last month you were talking about moving here and even transferring to finish your degree so we could start our lives together even earlier, and now you want nothing to do with me. I will never understand how someone can cut someone out of their life that suddenly and harshly. I really wish we didn't get Lola now because now she will not be a part of my life, as well, and I am losing two things I love now, which makes it that much worse.

 

I know we are both young, but we were both so sure of our future together and I don't know how that can change so suddenly. No matter how hard I try I will never be able to completely get over you.. This is exactly why I have a hard exterior. When I put faith in someone, they always seem to let me down. I don't know what I did to deserve this again, and the way you went about it was extremely hurtful, but I know your intentions were not to hurt me. My past is something I should have talked to you about, but I was so happy just living in the present with you. You made me forget about any pain from my past.

 

Although I will never understand how you are feeling, I want you to be happy. I will always be here to support you and I want you to know that. I will never regret the memories and moments we shared together. The only thing I regret is not being there to emotionally support when you needed me. I really wish things could have turned out differently, but I know feelings can change and there is nothing you can do about it. I don't know if you will find what you are looking for but I hope you can find a life that you love and be happy, even if I am not a part of it.

 

Even the little things like getting out for lunch and not being able to call and hear your voice kills me. You will always be the love of my life, and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I know I need to give you space and let you do what you need to do. I just hope you aren't making a mistake and realize it when it is already too late."

 

Did you send this? I hope you didn't. It's a really good email here:

 

Although I will never understand how you are feeling, I want you to be happy. I will always be here to support you and I want you to know that. I will never regret the memories and moments we shared together. The only thing I regret is not being there to emotionally support when you needed me. I really wish things could have turned out differently, but I know feelings can change and there is nothing you can do about it. I don't know if you will find what you are looking for but I hope you can find a life that you love and be happy, even if I am not a part of it.

 

Even the little things like getting out for lunch and not being able to call and hear your voice kills me. You will always be the love of my life, and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I know I need to give you space and let you do what you need to do.

 

That's it. The other stuff? If you haven't poured out your heart to her until now, then don't do it after the breakup; you're too vulnerable right now. You're doing the right thing by giving her space.

 

I broke up with my ex for the same reasons, and he was very kind about the whole thing (kind of like you on this e-mail but face-to-face). And although we never got back together, I really respect him for that. It was really hard to get over him too because we both did NC. So you should too.

 

It doesn't really sound like she's ready to rebound. Actually, she sounds pretty confused. But that's none of your business anymore so just let it be. Don't beg, don't plead, just let it end.

 

Good luck.