Separation question. Is he plotting something here or getting legal or...

[momto3boys]

As you know i asked a question the other day about taking my name off of our bank account and moving out of state with our child and also about the cell phone.

 

Im not sure if he is plotting some way to screw me over, taking advice from his family and friends and legal advice or is he backing down?

 

 

Well here's a little run down of what is going on right now. My soon to be ex came here last night enraged wanting me to make a list of what all i wanted and come up with a child support agreement and visitation agreement. (which i did NOT do and will NOT do without knowing what i deserve and my rights). My soon to be ex then said he was going to file for divorce today. i told him go ahead, i dont care file. He then said "we dont need to get in to these who doesnt care more than who matches right now. I'm filing tomorrow and taking your name off my bank account". I have since then bounced the idea of staying down here until our 2nd son was born, i know legally i can stay here and he'd have to stay in the barracks (military housing) while i live here until the divorce is final. I know i have that option. Well once i told him i may do this he got enraged and said he'd move my stuff home for me if its too much on my mom to help move us. Then he got a loan from a loan company that he already has a loan with. He got the loan to be able to give me money to be able to move back home.

 

Well today he ended up NOT filing and also NOT taking my name off of his bank account (he said he'd up an allotment to my bank account for me to put money in every month for me until we get child support set up). I have been trying to keep little contact. But someone today told me if he files for divorce down here in North carolina that i may end up having to stay here until atleast the first court hearing until the judge ok'd me to move home. I texted him today to see if he had filed, he said no he was at work all day. Then i told him i wanted him to sign an agreement that i cant take our son from NC to MD. He agreed to do this. I asked if he took my name off the account yet, he said no. Then i asked him when he was going to, he said he didnt know. Then i told him i was afraid if he files down here i may need to stay here for a bit. He said he decided not to file down here. I then told him i did not want him to think im not trying to get him to file or that i was trying to delay the separation i just dont wanna get stuck down here, he said "im not trying to keep you down here. Go a head and go this weekend. I asked why he changed his mind about filing down here all he said was "because i did". Then i said once again that im not trying to delay the separation at all i just dont wanna get stuck here. He said "im filing in md".

 

 

Then i told him to just set up an allotment into my bank account and take my name off his and to give me money to get home on thursday or friday. He said to go take 300 out of the atm. So i did and i texted him to tell him i got the money, he said "ok" and has not said anything else. He barely answers my texts and he does not answer my calls at all. Im not really sure what the delay is with everything with him. He says he wants to file but yet is flip flopping between filing down here and up in MD.

 

Does it sound like he is getting advice from someone and thats why he's so wishy washy or is he backing down or what?

 

 

 

im going to talk to a lawyer tomorrow on base about everything. i am just not wanting to dig myself in a hole or setting myself up by whatever i say or do to him, thats why i am asking for advice. am i doing the wrong thing before i even talk to a lawyer? Im so confused on what i need to do other than of course get a lawyer. im afraid because he is so wishy washy which has me paranoid that im just screwing myself in the end and he is plotting something.

Edited September 21, 2011 by momto3boys

[speedster]

if you had to sign a document to be on the account, you have to sign one to be removed. he can't just unilaterally remove you from a joint account.

 

what does it matter if he's flipflopping? you don't seem to care, and he just wants to get a reaction out of you. you both seem pretty immature and/or confused.

 

i think you should both not have contact with each other for a week or two and see how you feel after the emotions die down a bit.

[momto3boys]

speedster- I didnt sign anything, i ended up getting legal advice today and did get a signed agreement that i could leave with my son through JAG on base. So i feel a bit better. As far as us being immature/confused. i think its more like being confused/paranoid. There's a lot of anger here and i think we are both resentful and just mad and confused. And of course im sure he is getting a bunch of legal advice from his friends, and so am i. So it is very confusing.