Fleabitten Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 So the ex has called me 5 times tonight (3 in the morning here). I didn't answer. Now he has texted me to say he's uploaded a video of me/us onto a well known p0rn site. What the hell do I do??? Where do I stand legally? I'm very tempted to just contact him to tell him what I really think of his despicable behaviour but that's exactly what he wants. I do NOT want videos like that of me on the internet. I haven't found it yet, assume it has to go through some screening process first so at the moment I don't know whether he is just threatening or if he's actually done it. I feel so sick
Kageytn Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 He's determined to break you. Police. Police. Police. Go to the police. Then have them deal with him. If you have the money, go to a lawyer about the video too. Quit not dealing. God knows what he will do next to f&ck with you. Police.
gbadboy Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 OMG, your ex is so immature. Not sure you can do anything legally if its his personal video. WHy dont you play it cool and try to find the video (ask for his user name and search that way). Once you found it, contact the web site administrator and tell the situation, im sure they'll remove it. Good luck.
geegirl Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 What's stopping you from at least making a report to the police? What does this man have to do to you that will make you want to protect yourself? You want to call him and tell him he is despicable? You think he cares what you think? No. If he did, he would not behave this way. I'm not sure if you can do anything legally but you can find out. If you are proactive in that aspect, you can also pick up the phone and make that report.
Author Fleabitten Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 I can't deal with this anymore, I don't know how to cope
GinaM Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 this is absolutely unhealthy relations as for video I do not think you used a professional equipment good enough to put it on a website how old are you and your ex?
Dark Phoenix Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 this is absolutely unhealthy relations as for video I do not think you used a professional equipment good enough to put it on a website how old are you and your ex? You do realize you can upload cell phone videos onto the web right? basically if the equipment supports taking video you can upload it anywhere you please. Unless the OP gets in touch with a lawyer I doubt anything would happen with just contacting the police. That and videos are often taken off of websites and posted on many others as well. When something hits the internet it is nearly impossible to delete all evidence/copies of it being there. Sorry OP, hopefully this will be a learning experience... if anything.
CarrieT Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 as for video I do not think you used a professional equipment good enough to put it on a website Ohmygod - you obviously don't realize there are THOUSANDS of amateur porn sites with everyday people uploading their iPhone-made sex videos...
insaneinthebrain Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 at gina m... Most porn today is amature.... .. the professional porn industry is dying because of it... As for the video... you need to contact an anturney pronto.... Legally speaking, no one has the right to use your image with out your permission, even if it was in his house .... and you knew you were being recorded... The websites hosting the site are making money of your image... so they need your consent... especially if your face is showing.... You also need to send him a siese and dissist notice, and he can actually be on the hook for what ever damages he has caused... these can range for pain and suffereing.... .. witch can be confirmed by a phsychiatrist.. Remember its not the end of the world ....... i mean .. it sucks, and its embarssaing.. but its not the end of the world if he already put it out there... Good luck and i really hope this works out for you ..
Mack05 Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 (edited) Flea are you sure people can make you out in this video? Are you sure he is not bluffing. I think people are truly nuts to film themselves these days, when you consider how many of these video's end up on the web. But what's done is done.. You either go to the police and make a stand or continually do nothing and have this guy kick the small shread of self esteem you have left, into the gutter. The longer you do nothing, the more devastating the effect it will have on you. You BADLY need to get to Therapy. Once you go to the police, you can at last start making your recovery from this nightmare. This guy is being more and more evil and instead of standing up to him, you crawl back further into your shell. You posted yesterday you were missing this scumbag! Flea what is wrong with you? STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People are trying to help you and all you can say is "I can't cope". I hate to be harsh, it's clear you are down but but sitting there and taking this man's verbal diarrhea, you are even more pathetic then he is. For crying out loud take control of your life back. I swear if I knew where you live I'd call round to your house, throw you over my shoulder and drag you to the police station kicking and screaming. When are you going to show courage and say "Enough!!!???" Or are you going to be posting in 3 weeks time and be 10 times lower (if that is possible) and say "Ok I am going to the police". STOP feeling sorry for yourself. STOP playing the victim and stand up to this bully!!. If you don't you are as pathetic as he is.. Edited September 21, 2011 by Mack05
EgoJoe Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Mack, that is some very tough love... Flea: See a lawyer and a therapist ASAP. I can't say I've been where you are yet I can say that I have experienced the same absolute depths of despair with no self-esteem left and then I had to help my family in the midst of it. I'd come home and collapse in a completely confused, distraught and disembodied state. We are all here for you. I know you can stand up for yourself. You need to tell this guy whats what and where to stick it. My suggestion is to call an Attorney and offer to pay the attorney a small retainer to make a few calls and send a "warning" letter to your Ex. This will likely scare him into either 1: Taking the video down if it's up (which it may not, he told you probably to put the sense of panic in you) 2: Leaving you alone (and 1 if the video is up)
Mack05 Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Mack, that is some very tough love... Ego my understanding, patient love didn't help (I reply to her threads a lot). I don't care what works with Flea, as long as something works. This is so sad to see what is happening to her right now. No one deserves this kind of treatment. I want to fly to London and knock this guy clean out. He is such a low life. Bullying a girl. I mean what kind of 'man' does that? Please Flea do something...
GinaM Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I personally think that the only reason he is is saying about video is to get a reaction, that is his last chance, apparently he is trying to influence the situation... Basing on the author message I would recommend just to keep NC. I mean fleabitten shall not contact him in this situation. As for lawyers and police well you just shall contact and see if it helps And I agree with insaneinthebrain that even if its truth (about video) this is not the end of the world, sure
Feelin Frisky Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 i have to say it... link? The first thought of every red-blooded American male. ^ But seriously, that is very screwed up and perhaps there is legal recourse if you want to risk the money and further attention. I'm sorry you have to suffer this--you're in a tough position.
Forever Learning Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 (edited) Ohmygod - you obviously don't realize there are THOUSANDS of amateur porn sites with everyday people uploading their iPhone-made sex videos... The good news is, there is sooooooooooo much pornography out there, this video is just the most tiny, miniscule drop in the bucket of an ocean of porn. Keep that in mind. And everyday there are millions of new videos added to the mountains already out there. Hope that helps a little in putting it in perspective for you. Think of a football stadium filled with people, then think of hundreds of those stadiums for miles. You are just one person of all those people, with a porn video circulating out there. My God, nowadays, it seems like every other celebrity has a new porno coming out. It's insanity, our society today. Nevertheless, contact the police and an attorney. He needs to be punished to the full extent of the law. Next comes sueing him in Civil Court. If the first attorney you find says theres not much that can be done about it, try another and another until you get one with a little experience and heart to help you in this. You can get a judgment against this man and possibly jail time or probation for him as well. He can be forced to reveal which sites the video was uploaded to and the site can be forced to remove it. Chin up, keep it in perspective as far as mental anguish goes. Don't let this rob you of happiness in life, worrying about this for months. You can also have an attorney or the police advise you as to if he is crossing he line and violating anti-stalking laws, if he hasnt yet, it sounds like this assclown might in the future. Be ready for that possibility. He's bad news and has no integrity. All the best to you. A hard lesson learned. God bless you. Edited September 21, 2011 by Forever Learning
Art_Critic Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Nevertheless, contact the police and an attorney. He needs to be punished to the full extent of the law. Next comes sueing him in Civil Court. I'm no attorney but he also posted a video that he himself owns and is in it..he just did it without her permission. What exactly would she be suing him for ? I would think she could win an injunction and have it taken down but unless he profited from it I doubt any damages could be awarded. She should go to the police who will ask him to take it down before a judge gets involved and orders him to do it. The guy is a piece of crap but she really needs to involve the police in her issues.
flitzanu Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 hate to say...asking for a link was (not only kinda funny) a good way to find the truth. "hey i posted your video on the internet" ok prove it? internet is a big place. i find my visage in random new places every day when i google my name.
darkmoon Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 somewhere on the internet, maybe google, not sure but think so, is a site about ppl's privacy, would sort it out. i know the FBI have a site for fraud/fake sites an they might know if the site's hard to find get a makeover for a disguise til vid is gone:)
mridul_chajilee Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 If you are in dat video,he is too.If he edit then it wil bdm a fake.Anyway i dont think dat he wil upload it in web.But he realy loves u remember dis.He is just trying to back u in his lyf by means of this way.If he uploads it he never let u knw coz he knws dat u can inform police and he may trap.So get out of the hell and think who add fuel to the fire,i think ur brain is washed by some1 dat he is a bad person.MJ said-'This lyf dont last 4ever,hold my hand' so goto ur Ex and 4get the mistakes if he made.Wide open ur arms and be one.No police,No law can solve it only u and he can save dis world. Good Luck.
betterdeal Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I can't deal with this anymore, I don't know how to cope Call the police.
betterdeal Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 So the ex has called me 5 times tonight (3 in the morning here). I didn't answer. Now he has texted me to say he's uploaded a video of me/us onto a well known p0rn site. What the hell do I do??? Where do I stand legally? I'm very tempted to just contact him to tell him what I really think of his despicable behaviour but that's exactly what he wants. I do NOT want videos like that of me on the internet. I haven't found it yet, assume it has to go through some screening process first so at the moment I don't know whether he is just threatening or if he's actually done it. I feel so sick Call the police.
Lucio Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Contact a good attorney. The text he sent telling u abt the video can be a good piece of evidence for blackmail/threat at the very least.
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