oaks Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Women I'm dating baking cakes for me equals me liking them more.
ChessPieceFace Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 You are you and he is not you. Some guys do not necessarily want to be with their mommy and daddy on their birthday. Is that supposed to be some kind of insult? People close to their birth families are "children" apparently? Also, this wasn't the point. A birthday is a special occasion, and I've always spent them with a lot of people, or at least several people, and not necessarily or not usually my parents. But never with 1 person. I told you what I thought might be the motivation for him spending it with 1 person (you.) Your response: "you aren't him, he isn't you." OK, well guess what -- no one else on this board is him, your comment would apply to any of us. Why are you on here asking our advice then? We aren't him. I am not sure if his parents are alive or where they live. See, I don't even know this man enough to know these type of details about his life. But you're so sure he doesn't think of this date in the ways that I mentioned... Like I said, you see sex as a given in this situation....not all people do. Actually, and I'm stating this again, I personally don't believe in cheap sex, a 3-date rule or in setting up this kind of 3rd date birthday scenario where I would get laid at the end of it. None of those are things I would do personally. But I'm very intelligent and imaginative and very capable of taking in the given info, imagining myself in someone else's head, adding in societal norms and figuring out the most likely scenario as I see it. That was the one I gave you. It may or may not be the reality of what will happen, but if it's not even something you considered as being possible, then you may be somewhat naive. Heck, if a girl wanted to spend her birthday with me on a 3rd date, I'd be wondering if she was "expecting something"... and most likely hoping she wasn't. yes you are going to say "well he won't know if feelings are there until he sleeps with you" that is total bullcrap. No, I would never say that. Love doesn't come from sex, sex too early can kill the seeds of love IMO. See, I'm one of those unusual guys who would NOT want cheap sex and probably not sex on a 3rd date. So that's even more reason why when even _I_ say it might be the case here, it bears notice. There are decent guys out there who don't think that if a girl doesn't sleep with them by the third date she is not interested, and there are plenty of guys who stop seeing a woman simply because they haven't had sex with them by the third date. Again, regular third date is much less than third date on someone's birthday. Just how I see it. All of that said -- good luck on your date and try not to let my or anyone else's advice weigh too heavily on your mind, or screw things up. I was just trying to help and telling it like I saw it. To me, and this was the main point, he's made a significant emotional investment in spending his birthday with you. Hopefully it will work out. And I'm interested to know if my suspicions were right.
daphne Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Eh - I didn't put that much thought into it. I'm going to have fun with a guy who asked me on a date to drive the coast on his birthday. I like him, he likes me, we connect so far....what you would do or wouldn't do doesn't really matter. Spending a Saturday with a guy you are dating really isn't a huge deal! Lighten up! If he is "expecting it" he will be disappointed, I guess. If he thinks that inviting me to spend a Saturday with him is setting the scene for sex, then he is incorrect and he will have to have a plan B. This man is 40 years old and he treats me very well. I have an instinct that this is not the case, that he is similar to me about relationships and dating....but if he's not, then he's not! His loss! I'm happy to see that there are a few women who have self respect and won't buy into the nonsense that some people are trying to sell you. So what if he's a 3 date rule guy? He can be that guy with someone of lesser value. I encourage a guy like that to move on and find someone of their own ilk. It's called having values and boundaries. I don't know that I'd go to the length of making cupcakes just yet. I really like the idea, cos I love me some cupcakes. But I think it could send him a stronger message earlier than you intend. And also, it tends to put a little pressure on the guy because of that message. It's your call, just wanted to point it out.
EasyHeart Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 How did this thread turn from cupcakes to sex? If any woman baked me cupcakes on the third date, she could put a leash around my neck and call me "Rover". Cupcakes!!!
daphne Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 How did this thread turn from cupcakes to sex? If any woman baked me cupcakes on the third date, she could put a leash around my neck and call me "Rover". Cupcakes!!! Easy, with you she could buy you some day old xmas cookies at Kroger and she'd have you. Seriously though. Hot chick, don't make him cupcakes. Make us cupcakes. You're making us hungry.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Why not pack a nice picnic basket with a delicious healthy lunch, then throw the wine and cupcake in for a special surprise. There are plenty of women willing to put out for the price of a drink or a meal, perhaps this guy is looking for more than an easy lay.
blueskyday Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Yes, picnic! Cupcakes for dessert. Remember a card, too. Perfect. Maybe get him a baseball cap or something to wear while you are driving. Have a great time! Let us know how it goes.
EasyHeart Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Easy, with you she could buy you some day old xmas cookies at Kroger and she'd have you. Daphne gets me. Why not pack a nice picnic basket with a delicious healthy lunch, then throw the wine and cupcake in for a special surprise. There are plenty of women willing to put out for the price of a drink or a meal, perhaps this guy is looking for more than an easy lay.This would be nice if we'd been dating for a while, but if a woman did all this on our third date, it would creep me out. A lot.
EasyHeart Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 But did Flavius Josephus like cupcakes?!?!?
Beachgirl8 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I like the healthy cupcake idea. Keep it simple, no picnic or expensive wine. Cupcakes show you put a little effort in and it's cute.
ChessPieceFace Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 So it is now Sunday (or Monday, depending where you are) and I'd like to know what happened. Did the guy in question "expect anything" on his 3rd-date birthday or not, as I indicated may be the case? Why do I have a suspicion that we will never find out...
Feelsgoodman Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 No, it is too soon for sex. I like to be in a relationship. I don't believe that he is "expecting" anything. I am sure if it. Really? What makes you so sure? Something tells me he won't be calling you again after this date, cupcakes or not...
Author Hot Chick Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 I did not have sex with him and he's called and texted once. I didn't even end up making cupcakes!
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