goldengirl11 Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 (edited) New Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 7 Hi, I'm going through a very difficult situation at the moment, say for nearly 2 weeks since my ex and I had exchanged e-mail contact - and he hasn't responded to my last few e-mails yet over 10 days. Of course I am worried that I may have said the wrong thing which has made him back off to possibly think, but perhaps he is away at the moment. As far as I know he is still living with his parents who he moved back in with about a year ago to go on a university course in London. He was an old colleague who got back in touch about 3-4 years after we had worked together, a couple of months after he'd ended a long relationship with his last girlfriend. Now, what happened earlier this year when he started dating someone else whilst we were still dating (although sadly hadn't seen each other for a month which I blame myself for after he had asked me for a drink a couple of times which I couldn't make - but then he didn't follow up around that time when I asked him!!). Shortly after this though near valentine's day it came out that he was seeing someone else which I was very very upset about, as although we hadn't yet talked about it becoming exclusive, I hoped that it was leading that way. However, unfortunately when we'd attempted to have sex the last time we'd met at Xmas, it was near impossible as I was quite tense down there. But we did do other intimate things. He didn't see me on NYE which I'd suggested after he was v tired coming back to see grandparents with family (which I believe), but I didn't fear as he said we would make it another night when we can try different things, which of course goes back to me saying previously that me like a fool couldn't make. After I was aware he was dating this girl fromearly/mid Feb ish and he'd asked if we should be friends, I told him that I was disappointed but didn't really give him an answer, as hoped it would fizzle out between them. However, their dating obviously pretty much took over guessing they maybe met through college or something, when I was 40 mins away say from his home who he had to make an effort to see. Basically for the next 2 months he kept me on a string via text - him initiating - but not maing time to see me and then noticed he went quiet for a fortnight when I'd texted him on the Royal Wedding weekend to catch up when he said he was with someone now. I felt a wreck. He has very occasionally initiated contact but more me admittedly, sometimes getting a reply, sometimes not. However about 6 weeks ago he started sending me random e-mails asking how I was etc, if a bit flirty. For example about 3 wks ago I said that I was starting a beauty therapy course soon, to which he offered for me to practice on him! Also to resend some photos which I had sent before a few months b4 which he said he sadly couldn't open. O fcourse this was an opportunity to ask him if he was still with her, but bottled out. I then initiated contact about a week later saying that I was popping over his way and if he fancied meeting up, but he obviously dodged the question. I have since sent him a few e-mails, including one which had pretty much said that I'd like us to start seeing each other if slowly as think it would be better this time round.. and since a couple of other how's it going type messages to perhaps shade over that one a bit as felt a bit embarassed, but not yet heard anything. I know he went away for a few days to a week a few weeks ago, which he said afterwards, but not entirely sure what's happening now, whether he's gone away again and plans to reply when he gets back or whether he doesn't need me anymore if that girl is back in the picture. I have drafted an e-mail asking this so I know, even this is v scary to do incase it's not what I want to hear. Am just feeling very... vulnerable if that makes sense right now as am scared have lost him. I fear though that he will only get back in touch when it *has* ended with this girl and he will want sex. Of course I want it to be exclusive, but would hope that as he would no longer be a student that there might be less temptation then. My Mum seemed to give the impression that because he was a student it was almost acceptable, but I was obviously a bit nieve and didn't speak up for myself before it was too late. It's fair to say that I'm in turmoil thinking he has dropped me again. There's been no texting since I regrettably deleted his no when he was with someone else and unfortunately it's stayed as e-mail, but now obviously nothing in nearly 2 weeks. Where do I go from here? And with that e-mail I drafted? I feel quite lost tbh, tho of course don't want to come across that way! Thanks. Edited September 20, 2011 by goldengirl11 .
Author goldengirl11 Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Just to say sorry for the v long and possibly confusing message before! Admit was a litle confused when I read it back myself;) I guess one thing which I did learn from this experience is that if I find myself seeing someone again who I really like then I will pluck up the courage to be clearer with my feelings earlier on so as to know where I stand, or will drop everything to see them until I get the girlfriend title that is! Thanks again. Ps I think what was most hurtful re what happened though (and sorry if I'm repeating myself) is that when he started dating this other girl that he was no longer suggesting to see me but at the same time for two months he had me dangling on a string with his texts. For example because I knew he could probably no longer see me at the weekends I remember picking a day in the week when I thought he would be less busy, but of course then he was teaching I know that I will have to be patient now though and guess will know if he had picked up my recent e-mails because have sent him an e-card for his birthday tomorrow when it tells you whether the recipient has picked it up or not!
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