Jandrews Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Hey guys, Just a little bit of background info, I have been talking to a certian girl for about 3 weeks now. This is through text messages and seen her the odd time at work. She is constantly telling me how amazing I am and that im perfect and I should have a girlfriend. About a week ago I went on a night out with her she was all over me kissing, hugging, holding hand ect. But in the past week she has been acting very weird like very late replys to my texts or not texting back at all (when she used to text me back in seconds). And now shes telling me her phones not working and it be working in a few days. However I know her phone is working and she texting her female friends. I just dont understand how you can go from telling someone there amazing, perfect and also kissing them hold there hand, generally being very affectionot. To ignoring you saying there phones doesnt work in a matter of days. I just dont understand where I stand or what to do next. Please help me because I really do like this person shes amazing, words can't describe how happy I am with her in my life cheers
somethingsimple Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Just be cool, man. Maybe she's just recollecting herself. Everyone handles things differently. Handle it your own way. Don't come across as needy, bro.
Author Jandrews Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 Did you sleep with her? No I did not sleep with her
Author Jandrews Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 Just be cool, man. Maybe she's just recollecting herself. Everyone handles things differently. Handle it your own way. Don't come across as needy, bro. seriously mate I'm **** at dating I couldn't do it to save my life. Do I wait for her or give it a fews days then I get back in touch with her? I need some serious help here lol
ScienceGal Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 If she is lying about her phone not working, then she wants to be left alone. Just back off and give her some space. If you don't hear from her in a few days, call or send a message to see what she's up to. She might have gotten ahead of herself and isn't sure how she is feeling or what she is supposed to do. And p.s., I see that you've posted this same question in at least 3 LS forums, and you should not be doing that (imagine if everyone did that...) Thanks.
somethingsimple Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Personally, I would wait a couple of days after the initial hook-up. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Just start concentrating on yourself first and foremost right now. Have fun and be calm in this stage, its probably one of the most fun and exciting parts.
Author Jandrews Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 If she is lying about her phone not working, then she wants to be left alone. Just back off and give her some space. If you don't hear from her in a few days, call or send a message to see what she's up to. She might have gotten ahead of herself and isn't sure how she is feeling or what she is supposed to do. And p.s., I see that you've posted this same question in at least 3 LS forums, and you should not be doing that (imagine if everyone did that...) Thanks. Cheers for that only reason why I posted it 3 times was because I didnt know what people look at the most. And I really need the help it wont be done agian
rafallus Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I just dont understand how you can go from telling someone there amazing, perfect and also kissing them hold there hand, generally being very affectionot. To ignoring you saying there phones doesnt work in a matter of days. No I did not sleep with her She likely assumed you were not man enough for not taking things further than you did, and went cold on you.
Author Jandrews Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 She likely assumed you were not man enough for not taking things further than you did, and went cold on you. She was the one who didnt want to take things further at the moment. She wanted to take things slowly, as she said she wanted this to be more than a teenage fling
Andy_K Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 (edited) I'm afraid however nonsensical it seems, rafallus is almost certainly right. The reason I asked if you slept with her is because I'm pretty sure she went cold because it didn't happen. Girls will lose interest suddenly and without warning. Their interest level early on can go up and down but it will never stay the same for long. From where you were, the only place it could possibly go was down. When she is that way, you either pull the trigger or she goes off the boil. More likely than not because there's an escalating attraction to someone else who's appeared on the scene, and your end of the see-saw goes down to balance it. If you don't trigger her bonding chemicals, you miss your shot. She wanted to take things slowly No. She said she wanted to take things slowly. She may even have believed it herself. But I bet you that if the two of you had slept together, you wouldn't be posting here today. Edited September 20, 2011 by Andy_K
AH1990 Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Did she just get out of a relationship? Possible the ex came back into play? I'm thinking that's what happened. Just happened to me too. The girl wanted to keep me as a friend just in case it didn't work out the second time with her ex.
Author Jandrews Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 Andy K you are probably right I may have missed the boat. But there is still a lot more to why I haven't had sex with her other then what she said but that was the main reason. AH1990 she hasnt been in a relationship for at least 2 years I think, well its been a very long time. I was thinking someone might have poped up. But its probably just me trying to find a reason why this has happened. Do you two still think I should give her another message in a few days see if the fire can be re-kindeld? or just continue to fight a losing battle? I haven't felt like this about a girl in a very long time, so I want to try my hardest to make it work!
somethingsimple Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 In my opinion, if you can't stand a week without contacting a girl you're not even with or dating. Then your being extremely needy. Also, sleeping with her early almost certainly gets her hooked on you, its usually poison in most cases when it comes to relationships. Start ingraining it in your head, that this girl will be lucky to have a chance with you. Don't be a pushover. Contact her, if she responds in a way that you think disrespects you, ignore her. Don't take crap, man. You shouldn't care to much, cause that's the reality. She hasn't done or invested enough time to be really cared about. Put yourself first, then let her work her way up.
Cypress25 Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Did you ask her out for a second date? She said she wanted to take things slowly. She may even have believed it herself. But I bet you that if the two of you had slept together, you wouldn't be posting here today. This is strange advice. Are you suggesting that he should have raped her? No means no. If I told a guy that I wanted to take things slow and he kept pressuring me for sex, I would be instantly turned off.
laotzu Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Hey guys, Just a little bit of background info, I have been talking to a certian girl for about 3 weeks now. This is through text messages and seen her the odd time at work. She is constantly telling me how amazing I am and that im perfect and I should have a girlfriend. About a week ago I went on a night out with her she was all over me kissing, hugging, holding hand ect. But in the past week she has been acting very weird like very late replys to my texts or not texting back at all (when she used to text me back in seconds). And now shes telling me her phones not working and it be working in a few days. However I know her phone is working and she texting her female friends. I just dont understand how you can go from telling someone there amazing, perfect and also kissing them hold there hand, generally being very affectionot. To ignoring you saying there phones doesnt work in a matter of days. I just dont understand where I stand or what to do next. Please help me because I really do like this person shes amazing, words can't describe how happy I am with her in my life cheers You came on way too strong, and shouldn't have texted her too much. A couple of times after she texted you back, you shouldn't have responded, regardless of whether or not she asked you a question (unless it was time sensitive, or related to meeting up with her). Again: don't be too available. Leave something to the imagination, and let anticipation (i.e. not texting all the time) have its place. Now that she's being nonresponsive, withdraw completely. It might be too late, but perhaps not. Don't text her or attempt to contact her for a day or two, and see what that brings. I don't necessarily think it comes down to the "man enough" issue with sleeping with her, but it depends on how often you saw her in person. In my experience, when a girl wants to have sex she'll make it pretty obvious.
Andy_K Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 This is strange advice. Are you suggesting that he should have raped her? No means no. If I told a guy that I wanted to take things slow and he kept pressuring me for sex, I would be instantly turned off. I knew someone was going to say this. No, I'm not suggesting rape. I'm suggesting he persuade her to change her mind one way or another. Preferably without mentioning it directly, or 'pressuring' as you put it. This happens all the time, especially if you feel the right connection with someone. I don't think there can be that many women who've never changed their mind about whether to sleep with a guy or not over the course of an evening.
rafallus Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 This is strange advice. Are you suggesting that he should have raped her? No means no. If I told a guy that I wanted to take things slow and he kept pressuring me for sex, I would be instantly turned off. This is one possible scenario. Other possible scenario is he was making all the right moves to kiss with her, but not quite to get sex, yet she was open to the idea and felt disappointed afterwards if it didn't happen.
thatone Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 either way her knee jerk response was to lie to you so why are you so attracted to her still? if she'll lie about the phone she'll be lying about other things pretty quick. play for sex if you want, but you need to get over your infatuation with her, because she's not worth keeping around longer than that.
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