kaldo Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 After a long drought, I get this: "Random txt- yes. Do i feel crazy txting u- yes. But a part of me just wants to know your ok. Hope everythings going well Mike, just thinking of you that's all." ....thoughts?
Eddie Edirol Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Dont answer, I had an ex that used to do that same bullshyt. She feels guilty for lying to you about the breakup, shes just curious, she wants to make sure youre not slitting your wrists. Dont answer her, it means nothing, its the least amount of effort at communication. She wants a quick answer, but she doesnt really want to engage you, to avoid leading you on, ignore her.
smudge21 Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I agree, she's using the concerned approach to get a reaction. I'm sure if she was really worried she wouldn't be texting, she'd be calling... and calling... and calling. Whether you reply however is your choice. I know how tempting it can be when this happens. My advice (which is always free but should never be taken as correct) would be to ignore and see if she texts again. If you get three of them in a short time, I would respond, but keep it simple and basic: "yeah I'm fine. All is well." and then no further response.
flitzanu Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 id say it means: "hey i hope you're doing ok. i don't want to date you though."
name goeshere Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 id say it means: "hey i hope you're doing ok. i don't want to date you though." not date you right now but if you play it right you could possibly turn that around. I would say you need to get her to pursue you.
ScienceGal Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 There aren't many details in your post, but if this is an ex and she left you, then all that message is is breadcrumbs. She is testing the waters to see if you'll respond/still care. She is most likely looking to make herself feel better if she is still harboring guilt. If she really cared about you, she would have called or composed a longer/more detailed letter.
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Text Back "This is Mike's GF.. Stop texting him"
name goeshere Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 The question is after this long to adjust would you want her back. You posted in the second chance category so is that something you would consider?
betterdeal Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 In the olden days, we didn't have text. What we did was think, "I wonder how [insert name here] is?" and then go about our business. It's equivalent to "I wonder how cold it is in that cloud there and I wonder how many other people are looking at it right now and thinking it looks like a rhino like I am?" Have you replied and what did you say?
Kamila Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Hey there, we're in the same boat. If you read my earlier posts, you'll see that i also had texts saying stuff like ' how are you ? ' , ' just checking if you're alright' , ' i'm still thinking a lot about you '. And I still don't know what those texts meant. I never responded to them. I thought a lot about their meaning, what they could mean if i responded to them, but deep-down, i don't want to go down that road again. I was extremely hurt and had to deal with a lot of bull**** from my ex. So in a way we're protecting our hearts by not answering. In your case, i don't know what they mean, only the one that initiated contact knows. But if that person knows... what don't they ACT? Why don't they make their actions clear to you? Are they afraid? They don't want to get back together with you but just want to project their insecurities onto you?
betterdeal Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 You can drive yourself insane trying to read so much into so little. That you're trying to read more into it should tell you that you're way too emotionally charged to make a balanced decision on this. When I have reconnected with exes, it's been after a substantial period apart. You can then be like old friends reuniting. Until then, until you think "hello stranger!" you are way too tender to deal with all the possibilities comfortably.
jennifer6964 Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Maybe she don’t want you to forget about her or may be you date someone you know she will hear about with the hope of making you jealous. First of all, pretending that you have moved on will backfire. She will assume the relationship didn’t mean much to you anyway and that she should move on as well. And that’s the last thing you want. If you have to rationalize how much this person and the relationship fulfills you (or hinders you) then you need to re-think.
gbadboy Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Weather you reply back or not is dependent on the nature of your relationship and how it ended. Did you break up with her? Did you do her wrong? Were you unfaithful? Abusive? etc. If so, and you want her back then yes you should definately definately respond b/c she had good reason to avoid you all this time. Did she break up with you? Did she wrong you, was she unfaithful? Abusive? did wrong things to you? If so, then.......(ill get back to this...)
gbadboy Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Re-posting. Weather you reply back or not is dependent on the nature of your relationship and how it ended. Did you break up with her? Did you do her wrong? Were you unfaithful? Abusive? etc. If so, and you want her back then yes you should definately definately respond b/c she had good reason to avoid you all this time. or.... Did she break up with you? Did she wrong you, was she unfaithful? Abusive? did wrong things to you? If so, then this is a bit more trickier. Its tough because most of us who have our heart broken LONG for an ex to send us a message like the one you recieved. No matter how much NC we go, we always hope that a text recieved is from that person........ I honestly cant tell you not to reply because I dont know if I wouldn't reply if I got a message like that from my ex. Honestly, I think I would..... But - if you love this person and want to reconcile and cannot stand to be their friend and only their partner.......and you must reply then id say something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm doing really well. But listen, I've made a lot of progress ever since and I realized I cannot be friends/stay in touch with someone who I love" I know that will give them satisfaction but I too will have my satisfication b/c they are the ones (not me) who reached out to me. The fact that they are thinking about, will motiave me enough to move foward and wont stress if they dont reply should i reply. Anyway, thats what I would do. That is, ill never reach out to my ex as much as i want to. I have to stick to NC. But if the guy I love reaches out to me, I would reply back only cuz i hope for reconcilliation. But again, my response will clearly indicate im not looking for friendship"
Chi townD Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 She's pulling on the leash to see if the dog is still there. don't respond....remember, she left you for her Ex. But, here's the kicker...they're your Ex's for a reason....guess the grass might not be greener after all...oh well, not your problem anymore.
Author kaldo Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 Thanks for all the responses guys. Going to go with the general consensus on this one and not respond. If she genuinely cared she'd put in more effort. Most likely she's just bored at the mo or as a friend of mine suggested, recently dumped. I'm not here at her bec and call everytime she sends a half-assed 'care' msg through. She's had plenty of opportunity in the past to show she gave half a crap about me and she's failed miserably every time. Time to show myself the love she never could. Take care all of you and thank you for your support, means the world to me and everyone else who visits these forums.
Recommended Posts