Never_Say Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 relationship started with an affair of 14 years.... married for 7 years (after the 14).... insecure, jealous...... will marriage conseling help the jealousy and insecurity?
carhill Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I would suggest individual counseling for the person feeling jealous and insecure. If both, IC separately and MC to cover any joint issues. You've been together a long time, a generation. This indicates that you are not young. Mature adults can work through their issues. I found MC to provide a lot of clarity. I won't state that clarity is always pleasant. Nor will I state that counseling is easy. It's not. Does it work? That depends on the people, the counselor and what is considered to be 'work'. It did 'work' for me. We divorced amicably and I live happily alone. IC= individual counseling MC= marriage counseling
nofool4u Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 since a counselor won't take sides or place blame, I'd say no, it doesn't work. all it seems to be is a bunch of, "and how does that make you feel" from the therapist. Now unless its like Dr. Phil, who will call it like he sees it and will tell you who is the one that needs to work on their s**t, then IMO I don't think counseling is worth 2 cents based on what people have said about it.
carhill Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Our psychologist definitely challenged both sides. Our debates (mine and his) were epic. Best intellectual jousting I've ever had. He pushed 'responsibility' and 'ownership', rather than 'blame'. Good guy. Excellent psychologist.
analystfromhell Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I've only been in IC and MC for a few sessions- about a month and a half. I can say pretty definitively that if it works it doesn't work quickly or clearly, rather it's a long, hard journey with no clear and obvious benefits. I've been told the changes are really only clear in hindsight. Hope this is useful and please let us know how it goes for you and yours.
carhill Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I neglected to mention we had around 14 months of MC. I finally started 'getting it' at around eight months. Long, hard journey is pretty accurate IME.
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