Nexus One Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 My cousin , not realizing who I am sent me a message on POF about 20 minutes ago:lmao:. I am adopted, I met my bio family when I was about 25, including some of my cousins. Granted, I was a red head back then and a little heavier- but my face hasn't changed... I spent 2 x-mas's in his presence. I recognized him right away being my biolgical cousin because I have spent time with him and I don't generally forget people. His opening line: U R Hawt My response: Thanks, I'm your cousin btw:lmao: Hilarious. Although I must say misspelling like that is a turn-off. Perhaps it's something you could tell him if you guys ever speak. There won't be more reunions, I cut out my bio-mom from my life about 3 years back. I ran into her grocery shopping, she was with her old step-mom. She walked past me and pretended not to know me. I ran back thinking she didn't see me, but she had. She told me in a panic "Nan doesn't know about you, we can't talk right now. (her dad never knew, nor did her step mom- her mom and dad split long before I came along) Her dad ( my grandpa I guess never knew about me). I've never talked to her since, it was like being abandoned all over again- being someone's dirty little secret. All the issues of being an abandoned child just came crawling back in a big way. Her sister's on her mother's side knew= those are the people I met. Damn. That must have been hurtful for you. Might sound a bit harsh in some way, but perhaps it was a blessing you got adopted, assuming you grew up in a loving home with your adoption parents.
oaks Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 His opening line: U R Hawt My response: Thanks, I'm your cousin btw:lmao: Yes, that's pretty high on the awkward scale. I hope he replies.
EasyHeart Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Would you really reject a guy just because he's your cousin? What if he's a nice guy? Women are soooooooo picky.
Kamille Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Would you really reject a guy just because he's your cousin? What if he's a nice guy? Women are soooooooo picky. It's even worse if he's nice guy! Haven't you heard? Women only date jerks!
ascendotum Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Would you really reject a guy just because he's your cousin? What if he's a nice guy? Women are soooooooo picky. Funny thread. DL - You should have stooged him for a bit, dropped a few comments back in your reply with some personal info you know about him. Get his mind ticking over, thinking how the hell does this chick now this about me. Or you could have lectured him on how using txt speak is not going to pull in the high quality women such as yourself, and if he had a picture of himself with another women, you could have got stuck into him on that as well.
betterdeal Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Maybe he was just paying a compliment to his cousin and you read too much into it.
Sanman Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 That is hilarious. I have gotten 'matched' with a female friend of mine online and we had a good laugh about it. If he ever told you that you looked nice, now you know he meant it! I'm sorry about the events with your biological mom. That sucks. That is her shame to carry around. It should not be yours.
Author D-Lish Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 I wish you could realize, that if this is the way she is, you were much better off without her. Can you imagine the damage she could have done if you'd lived with her? I count my blessings that my father raised me when I see my younger sister (who she raised) and her issues. They are legion. She's a lost little girl. I hope your adoptive parents were good to you. It would be easier to realize you're better off in that case. My parents are great, I lucked out. I did enjoy meeting her, but she didn't strike me as a nurturer. I agree, you are lucky. I haven't met my birth mother, but she has lived a pretty messed up life. I was very loved growing up. so I am very glad I was adopted. my birth father, my sister has met him (i have a twin sister and we were adopted together.) He is an alcoholic, and lives a very sad life. So count your blessings - being adopted is a gift. I realized that and came to terms with that after meeting my biological mother. It had always felt like some part of me was missing, and when I met her, something about knowing where I came from made me feel more whole. I haven't gone back to pof to see if he messaged me back. I am sure he is feeling pretty weirded out:laugh:
Author D-Lish Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 I've told my cousin (who I am close with) that she is hot (she is) many times... I am not attracted to her (yuck!) and I certainty don't want to Eff her (disgusting!). Just giving her a compliment or a pick me up when she comes to me with her guy problems / questions. It is funny though... and with D-Lish's sense of humor, I would make joke about it if I was him. He sent me back this ---> "Shyte D-lish, too bad we don't live in the South (JK) :-D I didn't recognize you!!! Regardless of the fact that I feel like a moron, we should hang out- I'll introduce you to some of my single friends- you just can't tell them this story :-)...Ever :-D
Voldar Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 He sent me back this ---> "Shyte D-lish, too bad we don't live in the South (JK) :-D I didn't recognize you!!! Regardless of the fact that I feel like a moron, we should hang out- I'll introduce you to some of my single friends- you just can't tell them this story :-)...Ever :-D I've been waiting to hear his response, xD too funny!
Author D-Lish Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 He has a great sense of humor like you and can laugh at himself! (Banjos Playing) I live in the south, maybe something is wrong with me that I don't want to get it on with my hot cousin. I've been waiting to hear his response, xD too funny! He's funny alright. I may, or may not take him up on the offer to meet some of his single friends. Not sure if I want to open that can of worms that would re-connect me with my bio-mom in any way. I don't see myself forgiving her for that one incident. I'd rather stay distant from her.
Voldar Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 He's funny alright. I may, or may not take him up on the offer to meet some of his single friends. Not sure if I want to open that can of worms that would re-connect me with my bio-mom in any way. I don't see myself forgiving her for that one incident. I'd rather stay distant from her. That's understandable, maybe make it clear to him you don't want to deal with her, but would be interested (if you are) in taking him up on the offer. Just do what's best for you.
whichwayisup Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 My cousin , not realizing who I am sent me a message on POF about 20 minutes ago:lmao:. I am adopted, I met my bio family when I was about 25, including some of my cousins. Granted, I was a red head back then and a little heavier- but my face hasn't changed... I spent 2 x-mas's in his presence. I recognized him right away being my biolgical cousin because I have spent time with him and I don't generally forget people. His opening line: U R Hawt My response: Thanks, I'm your cousin btw:lmao: OMFG. Now I must read on to see his reaction to what you said..
whichwayisup Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 He is cute Kam:lmao: No you can't. This is a priceless moment in my life. Haven't heard back since the message. Wonder how he is feeling right now:p Like an ass? There won't be more reunions, I cut out my bio-mom from my life about 3 years back. I ran into her grocery shopping, she was with her old step-mom. She walked past me and pretended not to know me. I ran back thinking she didn't see me, but she had. She told me in a panic "Nan doesn't know about you, we can't talk right now. (her dad never knew, nor did her step mom- her mom and dad split long before I came along) Her dad ( my grandpa I guess never knew about me). I've never talked to her since, it was like being abandoned all over again- being someone's dirty little secret. All the issues of being an abandoned child just came crawling back in a big way. Her sister's on her mother's side knew= those are the people I met. Jesus. This makes me wanna smack her. I know a cop, can we have her arrested for being a horrible mom and being mean to you? I don't know if I realized how much her brush off affected me until a few short weeks ago. I grew up thinking I was a dirty little secret- she just confirmed that I was and still am. That hurts. I can't let that childhood abandonment screw me up anymore. Hugs.. I wish I could be your mom! (LOL one year younger than you, but still your mom!) He sent me back this ---> "Shyte D-lish, too bad we don't live in the South (JK) :-D I didn't recognize you!!! Regardless of the fact that I feel like a moron, we should hang out- I'll introduce you to some of my single friends- you just can't tell them this story :-)...Ever :-D in the South! He's got sick humour, too! Love it! And, yes, you should hang out with his friends.. And yes, when he is ready and comfortable, this story is a MUST TELL. His friends will never let him live it down, too funny! He's funny alright. I may, or may not take him up on the offer to meet some of his single friends. Not sure if I want to open that can of worms that would re-connect me with my bio-mom in any way. I don't see myself forgiving her for that one incident. I'd rather stay distant from her. You don't have to connect with her at all.
Author D-Lish Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Like an ass? Jesus. This makes me wanna smack her. I know a cop, can we have her arrested for being a horrible mom and being mean to you? Hugs.. I wish I could be your mom! (LOL one year younger than you, but still your mom!) in the South! He's got sick humour, too! Love it! And, yes, you should hang out with his friends.. And yes, when he is ready and comfortable, this story is a MUST TELL. His friends will never let him live it down, too funny! You don't have to connect with her at all. Yeah, I probably will take him up on his offer. His response was funny, it won't be awkward meeting up with him. I'll probably explain to him what happened, he may be a good sounding board for what happened. What bothers me more than anything is that I think she is clueless to how much that might have hurt.
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 What bothers me more than anything is that I think she is clueless to how much that might have hurt. She's unattached emotionally (Detached is the word I was looking for) and put certain things in her past on a shelf and closed the box.
Author D-Lish Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 She's unattached emotionally (Detached is the word I was looking for) and put certain things in her past on a shelf and closed the box. I agree with this. We are so much alike in so many ways- but very different in other ways. I guess it's a nature vs. nurture example. I do have some imbedded characteristics and our bookshelves are crazy similar (filled with History books, Archeology, Philosopy- and both of us owned "a brief history of time" by Stephen Hawking). That was interesting to see. I can also tell when she's lying- because she over-explains things. One time she cancelled on coming out to see me and went into this long explanation about her car being in the shop- what was wrong with it, and she went on and on. I just knew she was lying because I am prone to doing the same thing. We differ when it comes to passion and compassion. I believe my biological Dad instilled these characteristics in me and I am more the person I am emotionally because I grew up with such a compassionate and loving father. I think his influence also provided me with insight into the world around me. I'm incredibly insightful with regard to people- and she doesn't seem to have that capability. I just hope that if I meet up with my cousin that he doesn't actually try and hit on me:lmao:.
tigressA Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 LOVE the response. So funny! I think you should take him up on that offer.
Author D-Lish Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 LOVE the response. So funny! I think you should take him up on that offer. Well what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, maybe we'll head there for our "first date":lmao:
Heyman12345 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 My cousin His opening line: U R Hawt My response: Thanks, I'm your cousin btw:lmao: Well be glad hes your cousin and not your brother :0 now that would be awkward.
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