CopingGal Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Dear S., On July 15, 2011, you gave yourself a wonderful gift. You left your bf, L. You left him because he was treating you like crap. He was a liar. You did not trust him. He began ignoring almost all of your calls and he made you feel terrible. Yet, all this time later, you are still crying, still trying to contact him and still thinking about him all the time. What's up with that? L has told you to your face that he will not apologize for the way he treated you. He told you he has nothing to apologize for and blamed his awful treatment of you on "bad timing." He has no remorse. Six times he has thrown this bubble-headed wench he is dating in your face. And you are STILL crying about him? You gave yourself a wonderful gift. You chose sanity over insanity. You chose to be treated well over mistreatment. Be strong. Stop contacting this jackass and get on with your life. This is what I want for you. Sincerely, S.
solobeary Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Dear M., I don't even know what date he left you, he was never strong enough to actually say it was over, but it was around two months ago, and around one month with almost no contact. You'd always worried that he was weak and selfish, but you never wanted to believe it because you really loved him and wanted to think the best of him. Turns out he was weak and selfish. You had four years together, which were lovely when he wasn't being selfish. You've been in love, really in love. You have your whole life ahead of you. He made the choice for you, and I guess that means it was for the best. You've gotten through the worst, remember you had no idea how you were going to survive one day to the next because your heart was so broken. Remember it disgusted you even thinking about being with another man. You're still lonely and sad about what happened, but things are so much easier than they were. You need to go through a heartbreak at least once in your life. It is so bad, but you come out the other end stronger and yet more vulnerable. But good vulnerable. You've learnt from this. You learnt so much. So much about yourself, what you want, your faults and strengths. You know what you did wrong, and what you did right. You'll be better prepared for next time, whenever that happens, you'll appreciate love so much, you'll be better at it. Now you need to focus on being the person you want to be. Remember when you were together you never felt like you had any time for your own interests? You have time now. Achieve everything you've wanted to. Sew a quilt, paint a painting, join a reading group. Travel at the end of next year, go by yourself and be strong and do what you want and talk to so many new, different people. It's still going to be hard, but deep down you know that one day you'll look back on all of this and know it was all worth it.
Viv Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Dear V. Remember how broken you felt two months ago when your husband left? I know you try to not to remember this, but you need to keep in your mind that even he told you that the person you were when you first met him, would have told him to F*** off for treating you like he was. His disrespecting you began really early on, but every time you fell for his empty apologies, don't ever do that again! You are worth more! Remember how depressed you felt when you moved in together and you thought it was because you were disappointing him? No one should make you feel worthless! If you ever come across someone so angry and disloyal again, if they twist reality to make themselves right, you have to leave immediately. He didn't love you as much as loved him, and now while you are getting over what happened, he's out looking for the next girl he can idealize and then leave when they don't live up to his expectations. Never forget how he abandoned you at the end, ever. You are lucky he's out of your life now, imagine if it had been 20 years of manipulation and blame. Nows the time to rebuild yourself into a happier more confident person, who doesn't take s*** from anyone, and I know you can do it. xxx
Buttercup84 Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Dear E , When I look back at your diaries when you were younger , I remember you falling hard and fast for someone and then crying your eyes out when they didn't like you back.Of course now you see what dicks they were and you would never even touch them with a stick now. But with J it was so different. When you met you didn't feel much for him but you spoke for 6 hours with him on your first date.You just didn't want to go home. You told him all about your past and yet he fought for you.You almost ended it before it started but something held you back.You fell so hard for him and never felt a love like that before. You had someone who loved you , wanted marriage and babies with you.He was going to propose after 6 months. I remember when you were out with friends at darling harbour at night and you were going to go to a club.You saw a couple walk past with a little baby and you suddenly thought " I would rather be them then go to a club now " .You never thought like that before.Sure , you wanted children some day but this was new.You only knew the guy for a month. That night you texted him that you loved him , then lying in bed the next day you said it to his face and he said it back.It felt so different , and you spoke about having a baby together.Started off as a joke but then you both go so serious and after a long talk you decided to give it a go. After NYE you found out that you were pregnant.You were both so overjoyed and excited.J told everyone and proposed to you in the cafe of your first date. J looked after you so well during morning sickness and couldn't wait to marry you. But you got so sick you couldnt even drink water. You suddenly got scared and didnt know what to do.You had no job , you were studying full time.You loved J with all your heart but instead of telling him about your fears, you phoned ahead and made a apointment with a clinic.You told him about it and he drove straight from work to pick you up.He took the ring back and called you unstable.You still stayed together and after the abortion it all fell apart.He said he still wanted children with you. You fought a lot , he refused to talk about the abortion and now you started to get depressed about the abortion.You were not thinking clearly. While you were pregnant he bought you concert tickets and he even bought you a kitten , Sphinx.He treated you like a princess. You should have spoken to him about your fears and not be so damn stubborn and independant.Being in a couple means having communication. You hurt him so much , he would have made a great father.Now it is all lost. He started to critisize you about everything , reject you for sex and it is all your fault.Because you are selfish and insecure.You treated him like **** in the beginning and now you are getting what you deserve.You will never forgive yourself for doing that.You could have been a mother.
Unrequitedlove Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Dear C, You're having a rough week, and that's perfectly okay. You have been beating yourself up though, because you just can't seem to hold on to love. You keep getting with these losers, and you're always getting dumped. You keep blaming yourself, and that's not healthy. You know this, but for some reason, you continue to size yourself up to his new squeeze. You continue to remember the broken promises, the lies, the excuses, and yet, you still hope, and you still dream for some hope. STOP! You love wholeheartedly. You're honest, sweet, caring, and you would do anything for the person you love. Stop using your past experiences as a scare tactic to never give yourself fully to anyone else again. Sure, you made mistakes, and you're far from perfect, but you will meet someone who deserves you for you, not what you have to offer. Yes, one of your ex-boyfriend's admitted to a friend once that he dated you just for sex. Sure, one of your ex-boyfriends was a pathological liar and cheated on you. BUT the one you loved the most that you felt truly got away, didn't get away. He let you go. He promised you everything, but he chose to let you go. He did you a favor! Remember when you were having second thoughts about the relationship once it started to go flat? Remember when you felt that it was too good to be true? Remember when you felt overwhelmed by the feelings you felt when he first broke up with you? Those feelings will never return. They'll pass.
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