Jonnyy Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 So i was just reading someones thread on how to keep a girl around. One of the things was to be a jerk. Why is it that girls like men who are jerks to them? Im sorry but i dont see the logic in this. Why love someone who treats you like ****? Everyone agreed in this thread to basically treating the girl terrible but by saying you love her. For some odd reason that keeps them around? Could someone please enlighten me?
alphamale Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 jerks are aloof and a challenge and usually have other women interested in them
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Jerks are the only ones who know how to work the remote controls that activate the stepford wives.
samsungxoxo Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 It depends on how the word ''jerk'' in the context is used. If you mean a cheating type, he'll single again in seconds (at least I wouldn't tolerate that). Or is he ''jerkish'' in the positive way... a bit of sarcasm and entertaining? Does he really have a sense of rumors and knows when to either say no or simply postpone certain things? Is he aware that when a woman says no, not to come begging like a lost puppy or it gets annoying? He might try doing the chasing one more time if desired but that's about it.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 So i was just reading someones thread on how to keep a girl around. One of the things was to be a jerk. Why is it that girls like men who are jerks to them? Im sorry but i dont see the logic in this. Why love someone who treats you like ****? Everyone agreed in this thread to basically treating the girl terrible but by saying you love her. For some odd reason that keeps them around? Could someone please enlighten me? Because, like anything, girls tend to be drawn right TO the examples they had in their formative years. The more drawn they are to the so-called "jerks", the more reasons they carry for decent guys to steer clear. It could be worse - the bad seeds could be drawn to the best in the opposite sex.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Must this discussion always have to be so base? "Jerks" versus "doormats" or the like? Romance is always about "wanting". The so-called "nice guy"/doormat makes himself too easy so that the "want" on her part diminishes. She chooses someone less predictable, more challenging (but often less worthy and just plain selfish). This is never about "jerks" or "bad boys"--it's just about the simple dynamic of wanting versus having. The "smart guy" learns how to be wanted and knows looking like he's a doting schlepp who'll do anything for some crumbs of attention from his object or worship is the sure fire way to douse the flame of want er, romance. A jerk is just a **ing jerk and will likely give himself away as one eventually.
alphamale Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 The so-called "nice guy"/doormat makes himself too easy so that the "want" on her part diminishes. thats what i said in post #2
Feelin Frisky Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 thats what i said in post #2 OK. Deem yourself credited.
D-Lish Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 jerks are aloof and a challenge and usually have other women interested in them An aloof guy won't make me more interested and prone to chasing him. A guy that tries to pull some BS about making him chase and work hard to get his attention is going to get cut off after one date. I wouldn't accept a second date with someone that waited 3-4 days to call. I like guys that don't play games. If you like someone, let them know! I knew my ex was into me right away because he was vocal and consistent. Jerks are the only ones who know how to work the remote controls that activate the stepford wives. :lmao:
D-Lish Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Must this discussion always have to be so base? "Jerks" versus "doormats" or the like? Romance is always about "wanting". The so-called "nice guy"/doormat makes himself too easy so that the "want" on her part diminishes. She chooses someone less predictable, more challenging (but often less worthy and just plain selfish). This is never about "jerks" or "bad boys"--it's just about the simple dynamic of wanting versus having. The "smart guy" learns how to be wanted and knows looking like he's a doting schlepp who'll do anything for some crumbs of attention from his object or worship is the sure fire way to douse the flame of want er, romance. A jerk is just a **ing jerk and will likely give himself away as one eventually. Usually right away if he starts playing predictable games. Most women want a balance smack dab in the middle between a doormat and a "bad boy". They want someone that is going to treat her with respect- but be able to challenge her if the situation calls for it. That's why you'll see a lot of profiles saying they are looking for a "nice guy with an edge". You want someone loyal and compassionate, but you also want someone that isn't going to take your ****. I respect someone that isn't going to put up with me doing or saying something that bothers him.) My exH was a doormat in every sense of the word. It's no wonder because he grew up with a domineering mother that ruined him. I could have punched him in the face and he would have stayed with me (not that I ever would have- but just knowing things like that made it very hard for me to respect him. It's really hard to know where boundaries are when you're dating someone that doesn't challenge you when you do something that bothers him. You sort of feel lost. I like for a guy I date to give me some direction regarding what he needs from me. IMO opinion the guys that refer to themselves as being "nice" and make complaints on these boards that women only like jerks- are guys that don't have any confidence, and that's not attractive, and won't attract a good woman. I'd never date the true version of a player or bad boy. I want someone that's going to treat me well, be loyal to me, yet have the strength of character to confront me when needed.
Woggle Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 If a woman doesn't plan on giving a man any crap why does she care if he will take it or not? Why can't women police their own behavior instead of needing a man to do it for them?
cerridwen Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Jerks are the only ones who know how to work the remote controls that activate the stepford wives. Post of the Week Brilliant.
torn_curtain Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 usually right away if he starts playing predictable games. most women want a balance smack dab in the middle between a doormat and a "bad boy". they want someone that is going to treat her with respect- but be able to challenge her if the situation calls for it. That's why you'll see a lot of profiles saying they are looking for a "nice guy with an edge". you want someone loyal and compassionate, but you also want someone that isn't going to take your ****. i respect someone that isn't going to put up with me doing or saying something that bothers him.) yes.......
torn_curtain Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 If a woman doesn't plan on giving a man any crap why does she care if he will take it or not? Why can't women police their own behavior instead of needing a man to do it for them? Because everyone makes mistakes in relationships and disagreements in what two partners want are inevitable. Like partner A wants Chinese food and partner B wants Thai. When conflict arises, women want a man who is assertive about stating his needs. That doesn't mean he has to be a jerk about it, and compromise is OK. But it's a turn off if a guy never asserts his needs and always submits to what the woman wants.
Woggle Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Because the truth is that most don't care about small stuff like that. In that case we will have chinese one night and thai the next. It is no big deal. Women tend to mistake men's don't sweat the small stuff approach is not being passionate enough.
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