9Lives Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 How to tell if a guy likes you short version: •A guy may want to sleep with you, but that does not mean he likes you. •To know if a guy really likes you set standards for yourself and see if the guy is willing to meet them. •If he meets them, and is willing to put in the work required to be with you, he likes you. •If not, he is just sexually interested in you. How to tell if a guy likes you long version: I want to go over a question that surprises me as a man - how to know when a guy likes you. I get so many emails on this subject, but it was only when I recieved an email responses to this article I wrote on why men move so fast sexually when dating I knew it was time to touch on the subject. The response was objecting to a few of my ideas but at the same time totally missing the point all together. The whole focus was to explain why men behave the way they do – so this time let’s clear up the mis -nformation around how to tell if a guy likes you. In a nut shell, the reason falls under the old nature vs nurture argument. We are all descended from men who did not pass up opportunities to have sex. Men behave like sperm and women behave like eggs. Meaning men are plentiful and expendable, and women are not. For men, it is a low risk high gain proposition. For women though, it is high risk high gain proposition. This is why girls tend to be more selective about their sexual partners than men. Girls have to make sure that the man has good genes (physically attractive) or is a good provider (successful, dominant male) or both. For men however, it is more of a numbers game. How To Know If a Guy Likes You So how do you know if a guy actually likes you or if he just wants to sleep with you? Also, how do you deal with an attractive man, or successful man that you wan to jump into bed with right away, but still have a relationship with? Easy. Slow down. As a woman you hold all the cards when it comes to sex. Value is create by setting standards for yourself The first step toward discovering if a guy likes you or when a guy likes you is to create value in yourself. What the hell does that mean you might be thinking. Let me ask you, why are gold and diamonds so valuable? Because they are rare and are not easy to get or come by. You must become not easy to get. Not easy to come by. Unique and rare. To attract the best, you have to first be the best. So before you can increase your level of expectations for men, you need to increase your level of expectation for yourself. Why? Because the relationship you have with yourself is actually the relationship you will have with others. Focus on things like health, beauty, education. Men need a woman that is fun and beautiful, but who is also smart and engaging…at least the best quality men do. The kind of men you would actually want to have a relationship with. So be modest but sexy. Selective but flirtatious. Never arrogant and unreasonable. This idea of creating value in and for yourself is where the idea of setting standards comes from. By creating value through making yourself a very attractive woman in all sense of the word (mind, body, soul) AND also setting standards for the men in you life…it will be easy to answer the question of how to tell if a guy likes you. This is what I mean by setting standards: He must demonstrate he is capable and willing to treat you a certain way first before you consider sleeping with him. This helps filter out men who only like you because they want to have sex with you, from men who like you and want to have sex with you, but also want a relationship. So by making yourself not easy to get or come by through setting standards and expectations, you are making yourself more valuable and putting your price too high for guys who are not really that interested in you. Setting standards is the real key to determine if a guy really likes you All guys are interested in sex, and most guys you meet would sleep with you if you allowed it. It matters little if they are 16 or 60. It’s the same deal. If we like what we see, we are going to try and get it. Period. So when it comes to women, that is always the plan of attack for most men: •To find out if we have a chance with you. •If we do have a chance, figure out what it is going to cost to get it. Why do you think that guy stopped to talk to you about your favorite movie in the video section at Walmart? Why do you think he decided to sit next to you in class? Why do you think he is talking to you about what you like and what your interests are? No, it is not to learn anything from you or to find out your likes and dislikes. It is because he saw something he liked and is now trying to get it. It is really that uncomplicated. No, he does not care what your sign is, or what you do for a living, or what you did with your friends this past summer. This is what women do…. trying to get to know the man so they can evaluate him to see if he has potential. We want to know if we can sleep with you and what we need to do to make that happen. If he knows that he is going to have to treat you with respect, call you once a day, spend every weekend with you, drive to pick you up, open doors for you and show he can commit to you and only you for a period of time, that is work and investment. That investment in time money and energy might be too much for most guys like Mr Locario who advocate sleeping with the guy right away. Which I personally think is just dumb! You’re either long term potential, or you’re just “getting to know each other” Now sometimes I know I make men seem like jerks, but to make a man do what you want you need to set expectations. If you have no expectations you have no value. If you have no value you’re basically the Walmart of dating. It is game on for any man at this point. A man will group you in his head as someone who is a keeper and has long term potential, or as someone who is just for fun. If he groups you as someone who is just for fun, he is simply interested in sex with you. By setting standards you can quickly eliminate this type. If the guy actually likes you, then he will step up to the plate and meet your requirements. This is the best to know if a guy likes you or when a guy likes you but it is not the end all and be all. It can happen that you sleep with a guy right away and have a great relationship. This happens with a guy that likes you. The problem is you never know for sure which way he is viewing you until you set standards. So Mr Locario is right. If you sleep with a guy right away and he sticks around he likes you. But you run the risk of being grouped as someone who does not have serious potential as a girlfriend. It is really your decision. How to tell if a guy likes you: Recap •If a man likes what he sees, he will approach you and talk to you. This does not mean necessarily he likes you, it just means he is attracted to you. •He is trying to figure out if he can sleep with you and if he can sleep with you, how much effort it is going to take. •If you’re a high quality girl that sets levels of expectations for your self and for the men in your life, you will weed out the guys who are just looking for fun. •The guys who like you will stick around and do the work. Link to post Share on other sites
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