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Fear of getting the wrong idea


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I posted this in general discussion and didn't get any response so I'm trying this subforum which I feel might be a bit more appropriate.

 

I'm wondering whether people can reassure me about something here. I am perfectly capable of talking to and flirting with women and am ok at recognising when they show interest in me...nor do I feel especially nervous when it comes to dating, although I haven't much. I have had a couple of 3rd base experiences too...mostly on female initiation, but am still a virgin.

 

My obstacle is moving to initiate any sort of romantic/sexual activity because I fear that I have got the wrong end of the stick and therefore will look like a social moron when told that they weren't into me like that, or even a sleazeball who only had sex on his mind all along when they were just enjoying a friendly conversation. In the past what's happened is that I've initiated only when people made it blindingly obvious for me, which definitely made me feel stupid! I guess it boils down to being afraid of what they think of me, not necessarily a total fear of rejection, as I do not feel totally paralysed when it comes to asking people out, but instead paralysed when it comes to making the first move (wrong moment, need more signals etc). The words I fear the most are 'what the hell are you doing?!'

 

Do I need to trust my instincts more and just go for it? And if I'm wrong, can someone rationalise for me why it isn't the end of the world? Thanks in advance.

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