headsinclouds Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 It's been a month of NC since he deleted me from Facebook. I haven't been doing very well during this time. I isolated myself at first and was drinking way too much alcohol. I went on vacation with a friend and made out with some random dude. Then I started going out with my friends much more but I'm basically partying like a teenager. Ugh. The part that hurts the most is that he kept me at arm's length because he said he didn't want to get hurt. And that he is probably not even thinking of me at all. I know that him & his ex spend a lot of time together, but I don't know if they're just friends or more. I am friends with her on Facebook and her relationship status is single. His friend also told me that he told him I was amazing in bed, which irritates me that he would talk about me that way. I guess I was just a piece and the friendship part doesn't matter at all. I saw him on Saturday night and his ex was there too, but she was barely paying any attention to him. What hurts also is this is the first time since I've known him that he didn't try to talk to me or wave to me. We've been in fights before and he still would try to at least say hi. I guess our friendship is totally over now too. He just stood and stared at me, I held my head high and just acted indifferent. I feel so sad...
gbadboy Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 If you're still not over him and want him in your life, you need to remove anyone closely connected to him. Ex, why do you have his xgf on your facebook? Understood she's prob you're friend, but really ? Keeping someone like that on your facebook after post breakup means you'll be tempted to go to her page and you might run into pics of him. Its good you removed him from your FB, but you need to take additional steps to with any close links he might have on FB. Just explain to them its nothing personal and you have to do this in order to heal and if they want, give them ur cell number so as to keep in touch. something like that. I deactivated my FB account - but that's me. I did it so as to not read or bump into anything. Also where did you go on Saturday night to bump into him? Did you know he might be there? Has he had a history of going there? Something tells me you guys all have the same social circle - or end up at the same places. You need to start avoiding places where you'll feel you will bump into him accidentally. You say you're sad, well if you dont want to be sad, do the above and it will help. If you want him back, go true NC complete 100% and allow time to take over - he will get to miss you and he will contact you back. But as long as you 1) maintain links with ppl close to him 2) run into him at places, he'll know what you're up and hence won't have the desire to miss you. Im going through hell with my xbf.......and im cutting off not only him but anyone close to him so as to heal. (Thats how i got over my first bf). A casuality is my friend who has become my xbf 's support system........well that friend gets cut off too. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish and do what you must to protect YOUR feelings, even if it means cutting off innocent people out of your life - just by virtue of their closeness to your ex.
Author headsinclouds Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 The reason I haven't deleted her is complicated. I met her before and genuinely liked her. I then find out when I started "dating" him later that she was his ex. They had a bad breakup and weren't even friends. She then comes back to visit for the summer and wants to hang out with me, he & I had been in a huge fight & weren't talking. She didn't know that we had a history. He then freaked out that we were friends (even though he knew I knew her before) and completely turned her against me. Yeah, sounds like a big soap opera. I don't want to tell her I have to heal because she will tell hm and it will just make me look crazy, same thing with deleting her. And I have been completely avoiding him. We do have the same mutual friends, but where I ran into him, I've never seen him at that place before. This is so hard, what do I do?
gbadboy Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 If where you've been is somewhere you've never seen him at then that is prob a coincidence, but id avoid that place going foward. As for the gf- understood you met her from before and you genuinely like her but you said it yourself below, if you say certain things to her, she will GO BACK AND TELL YOUR EX. .............and that's my point! That's why you should probably avoid her going foward. If you dont want to delete her then you can hide her status on facebook in the privacy section.....my point is, what you need to do is disconnect yourself from ppl who have a close connection to him. If you share mutual friends and obviously cant cut them off, make sure and hang with them seperately and dont ask them about him. Im losing a good friend because he's the support system of my ex. It does bug me but I need to do what i must to protect my feelings. The only way to get over someone you love is to erase their memory......and IF IF IF it is meant to be, you will re-connect again in the future - especially in the communication age we live in today - we can basically get in touch with anyone via facebook.
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