ThsAmericanLife Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 She is one of those women who think that being strong and independent means that you treat a man worse than you would a roach and then pat yourself on the back for not being a doormat. A strong person doesn't make a habit out of abusing others. An independent one doesn't need to create fears in others to keep them in a relationship. Being strong and independent are qualities I admire, in both men and women. Makes them better partners and people, IMHO. Just sayin'.
D-Lish Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 A strong person doesn't make a habit out of abusing others. An independent one doesn't need to create fears in others to keep them in a relationship. Being strong and independent are qualities I admire, in both men and women. Makes them better partners and people, IMHO. Just sayin'. Agreed, considering Stepford wives are considered bland, emotionless, robotic creatures programmed to a life of servitude to their husbands. The original term came from the 1975 version movie where all the men in the town replaced their wives with beautiful robots devoid of emotion whose only purpose was to serve them.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Let's have a discussion about touchy social issues so that I may have the privilege of agreeing with everything you say. I'll be sitting at your feet, wearing my French Maid uniform.
D-Lish Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Let's have a discussion about touchy social issues so that I may have the privilege of agreeing with everything you say. I'll be sitting at your feet, wearing my French Maid uniform. Make sure that not ONE hair is out of place and your listick is freshly applied.
laotzu Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Let's have a discussion about touchy social issues so that I may have the privilege of agreeing with everything you say. I'll be sitting at your feet, wearing my French Maid uniform. I read the last five words of this response, and my ability to remember why I was in this thread completely evaporated.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Okay, now I have read up on what a Stepford wife is. No, I don't want a submissive robot. I want an equal partner. I fail to see, however, how a wife that dotes on her husband occasionally and treats him well is a Stepford wife? Seems to me like that's better than one who is an abusive alcoholic or is a man hater.
Feelsgoodman Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 The original term came from the 1975 version movie where all the men in the town replaced their wives with beautiful robots devoid of emotion whose only purpose was to serve them. If the people of 1975 could see into the future and observe the over-medicated, emotionally unstable, BPD-afflicted, Sex and the City watching, narcissistic women of 2011, the term "stepford wife" would have never taken on a negative connotation
D-Lish Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Okay, now I have read up on what a Stepford wife is. No, I don't want a submissive robot. I want an equal partner. I fail to see, however, how a wife that dotes on her husband occasionally and treats him well is a Stepford wife? Seems to me like that's better than one who is an abusive alcoholic or is a man hater. A Stepford wife is a derogatory term, that's all, and an insult to women. What that movie basically illustrated is that men don't want equal partners, they prefer servitude and compliance over an equal union. A very antiquated, but once revered quality in what men expected from women. Women used to be second class citizens, not allowed to have opinions of their own because they were considered lesser human beings, more stupid, and certainly not anywhere near as smart or equal to men.
Author Woggle Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 I think that Stepford Wife is one of those things that started out as a negative but has become sort of a positive thing when you look at who uses the word as a pejorative most often. If women like my wife and my friend's GF are what is considered a stepford wife these days I will gladly say that I want one.
D-Lish Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 If the people of 1975 could see into the future and observe the over-medicated, emotionally unstable, BPD-afflicted, Sex and the City watching, narcissistic women of 2011, the term "stepford wife" would have never taken on a negative connotation By people, you mean MEN. People have always been riddled with problems- it just wasn't talked about back then. Ever watched Mad Men? Back in the day people stayed in relationships because it would have been a scandal to divorce. Times and barriers have changed- people haven't. BPD isn't a new disorder, nor is cheating a new problem. As a women in the 50's, accepting your Husband cheating on you was just a given and something to accept. You didn't talk about being beaten either, because that was acceptable too.
D-Lish Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I think that Stepford Wife is one of those things that started out as a negative but has become sort of a positive thing when you look at who uses the word as a pejorative most often. If women like my wife and my friend's GF are what is considered a stepford wife these days I will gladly say that I want one. So you're basically saying that a woman without opinions of her own that lives only to serve you and your needs is the kind of arrangement you are seeking. I'm not surprised.
Author Woggle Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 So you're basically saying that a woman without opinions of her own that lives only to serve you and your needs is the kind of arrangement you are seeking. I'm not surprised. I never said that but it seems that any women who is actually interested in having a happy relationship and treats her man well is considered a stepford wife. No I don't want a doormat but I am glad to have what misandrists considered to be a stepford wife. If I am unenlightened because I don't want some vicious manhater who thinks being kind to a man is beneath her then so be it.
johan Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Someday, Woggle, you'll find a generalization you can really count on.
Feelsgoodman Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 By people, you mean MEN. No, not just men. Ask a woman from a non-western culture what she thinks of the feminist movement and modern North American women, and chances are, you are not going to hear kind words. Outside of the western world, many women actually prefer traditional female gender roles and don't find them offensive. They'd happily chose being a housewife over being a lawyer or a businesswoman. Even in our society, I have a feeling that many more women would be chosing traditional female gender roles if not for the relentless pressure to conform with the "feminist ideal" (which implies going to college, trying to get a prestigious job in a traditionally male field, etc.) Women who want to be stay at home moms are viewed by our dysfunctional society as pathetic and unambitious.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I think that Stepford Wife is one of those things that started out as a negative but has become sort of a positive thing when you look at who uses the word as a pejorative most often. If women like my wife and my friend's GF are what is considered a stepford wife these days I will gladly say that I want one. Sure... and if you take them for granted or start assuming that this is 'expected' of them because they are women, you will see that helpful, gracious attitude slowly but surely dry up. I don't know your story nor have I met your ex-wife. As I said in another thread... there is his side, her side, and then there is the truth. Behind every 'bitter' woman might just be a man who treated her gifts like dirt, took her for granted, and assumed his penis gave him miraculous decision making power. Not saying you did... Just something to keep in mind going forward.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Can I interest anyone in a piece of freshly baked blackberry pie? I just stepped out between threads and harvested the blackberries along the freeway, in my French maid outfit and platform mary-janes, of course. My, you men look as if you could use a nice massage.
laotzu Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Someday, Woggle, you'll find a generalization you can really count on. Haha, yes. The generalizations are so broad I almost wonder if there's an attempt at irony, but they're used so blindly that I doubt it. "All generalizations are false, including this one." - Clemens
Author Woggle Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 Sure... and if you take them for granted or start assuming that this is 'expected' of them because they are women, you will see that helpful, gracious attitude slowly but surely dry up. I don't know your story nor have I met your ex-wife. As I said in another thread... there is his side, her side, and then there is the truth. Behind every 'bitter' woman might just be a man who treated her gifts like dirt, took her for granted, and assumed his penis gave him miraculous decision making power. Not saying you did... Just something to keep in mind going forward. My ex wife is in prison right now and remained a drugged out mess long after our divorce so it was clear she had most of the problems. I treated her like gold through most of our marriage and got nothing but crap for it. My wife and I have an equal relationship but it is a natural equality instead of the constant scorekeeping and need to assert herself when I have done nothing wrong that many modern marriages have. There are no power struggles this time around and we are partner instead of adversaries which most modern day spouses are. We just naturally want what is best for each other. I don't want the stepford wife in the version of the movie but if this what feminists today consider a stepford wife why not co-opt the word and reclaim it as something positive.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 No, not just men. Ask a woman from a non-western culture what she thinks of the feminist movement and modern North American women, and chances are, you are not going to hear kind words. Outside of the western world, many women actually prefer traditional female gender roles and don't find them offensive. They'd happily chose being a housewife over being a lawyer or a businesswoman. Even in our society, I have a feeling that many more women would be chosing traditional female gender roles if not for the relentless pressure to conform with the "feminist ideal" (which implies going to college, trying to get a prestigious job in a traditionally male field, etc.) Women who want to be stay at home moms are viewed by our dysfunctional society as pathetic and unambitious. Actually, if it weren't for the poor behavior of some men, women wouldn't feel the pressure to want or need to fend for themselves financially. What would you know about women outside of the Western World? Do you have any close friends who are Chinese or Indian? I do. The women from those countries (at least the higher castes) are ALL highly educated... Those from the lower and poorer castes either abort their daughters, marry them off, or sell them at the first opportunity. They would give their eye teeth to be able to keep and educate all of their children. It is NOT a 'feminist ideal' to want to be educated and self-sufficient. Outside of the 'western world', women don't have a choice. If YOU get to have a fulfilling career that stimulates you intellectually, providing you with numerous opportunities to interact with other adults and be recognized for something other than being a parent... why shouldn't women want the same thing?
D-Lish Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I never said that but it seems that any women who is actually interested in having a happy relationship and treats her man well is considered a stepford wife. No I don't want a doormat but I am glad to have what misandrists considered to be a stepford wife. If I am unenlightened because I don't want some vicious manhater who thinks being kind to a man is beneath her then so be it. You've twisted my words. You only think in terms of black and white. I am loyal, I've never, ever cheated on anyone or with anyone involved in a relationship- but I will challenge you, you can count on that. Sorry if that pisses of the male population and they'd rather opt for the robot they've programmed themselves.
Author Woggle Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 You've twisted my words. You only think in terms of black and white. I am loyal, I've never, ever cheated on anyone or with anyone involved in a relationship- but I will challenge you, you can count on that. Sorry if that pisses of the male population and they'd rather opt for the robot they've programmed themselves. Define challenge. What does that mean in your eyes. It is such a vague term.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 My ex wife is in prison right now and remained a drugged out mess long after our divorce so it was clear she had most of the problems. I treated her like gold through most of our marriage and got nothing but crap for it. My wife and I have an equal relationship but it is a natural equality instead of the constant scorekeeping and need to assert herself when I have done nothing wrong that many modern marriages have. There are no power struggles this time around and we are partner instead of adversaries which most modern day spouses are. We just naturally want what is best for each other. I don't want the stepford wife in the version of the movie but if this what feminists today consider a stepford wife why not co-opt the word and reclaim it as something positive. Right. That will become a positive word when the "N" word becomes positive for african-americans. Not sure what you consider a 'feminist' either. A feminist is someone who thinks women should be treated equally... equal pay... equal rights... nothing special about that. According to your definition above, YOU are a 'feminist' if you treat your wife as an equal. There are people who are just angry, bitter, and mean. That has nothing to do with gender.
xxoo Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I think that Stepford Wife is one of those things that started out as a negative but has become sort of a positive thing when you look at who uses the word as a pejorative most often. If women like my wife and my friend's GF are what is considered a stepford wife these days I will gladly say that I want one. If someone referred to me as a Stepford, I'd definitely recognize it as an insult. It will never be a positive term for me. I don't aspire to be a Stepford Wife. But then I'd consider the source, and spend my time worrying about more important things.
laotzu Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I never said that but it seems that any women who is actually interested in having a happy relationship and treats her man well is considered a stepford wife. No I don't want a doormat but I am glad to have what misandrists considered to be a stepford wife. If I am unenlightened because I don't want some vicious manhater who thinks being kind to a man is beneath her then so be it. I'm sorry... this is satire, right? It's either new-fangled stepford wives or "vicious manhaters"? Strawman & etc.
Author Woggle Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 Right. That will become a positive word when the "N" word becomes positive for african-americans. Not sure what you consider a 'feminist' either. A feminist is someone who thinks women should be treated equally... equal pay... equal rights... nothing special about that. According to your definition above, YOU are a 'feminist' if you treat your wife as an equal. There are people who are just angry, bitter, and mean. That has nothing to do with gender. There are some who have co opted the N word and that is their business I probably would fit the dictionary definition of feminist but the movement has been hijacked by manhaters who want to hide behind that word. The reaction most men have to that word is because of the way some who call themselves feminists have given it a bad name. All I want from a woman is to be treated the way she would like a man to treat her.
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