billythefish Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Hi everyone...First time poster & need some advice from you well informed people..My girlfriend dumped me 5 weeks ago after 1 year together.I noticed things not right & she was being distant & switching her phone off.I eventually confronted her & she admitted she did n`t want me anymore & wanted to be alone.I did n`t beg,plead etc & went N/C & i just let go after hearing how cold she spoke to me even after us having a laugh together earlier that morning.A week later i get a text asking me to her friends party later that month but i was n`t going to respond to her text but unfortunately after a few beers with my mates i texted her to say i would n`t go & to thank her friend...I got no reply.Then 5 days leter i received en email saying that she has made a big mistake by dumping me & if i was interested in talking to let her know & we would meet up & talk about things.I texted her the next day & said i would talk & she replied that she had been out drinking that night & she could n`t remember sending the email....(the email that surely every dumpee wants from their ex)...I was so angry after this & did n`t respond & back to N/C..Another 5 days go by & i received voice texts & missed calls asking if she was to phone me would i answer as she needs to tell me something but alas i stupidly said yes i would answer.....Thats right people she never phoned & its been 3 weeks now.It was n`t a nasty breakup & she has been the one to initiate contact...what do i do as i feel stupid for replying to her ??
A7X Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 You should of simply replied that you were busy the first time she contacted you without leaving an opening that you would contact her back. Now I say just stick to NC, I mean, I doubt that you want to keep being treated like this?
Author billythefish Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 i know...its total all out N/C & im annoyed with myself for responding to her after all the advice from this site as its been a great help....thanks
A7X Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Don't be so hard on yourself for slipping, we all do at some point or another. Take it as having learned a lesson and move on threw life with this new knowledge..
Author billythefish Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 OMG...shes done it again..late night calls & an email saying she really needs to speak to me...i ignored these messages but 36 hours later another email asking about something to do with work (we work for the same company).i replied & kept it brief....no reply back from her....AAAAAARRRRRGGH...why did i respond ?...5 weeks of N/C gone in a split second as i feel i have been tricked...time to start N/C again & my mates think she is a bunny boiler & i was on the verge of losing it & phoning her to tell her to eff off but why should i stoop to that level ? she always says that she needs to speak to me but never follows up on what she says....im beginning to lose any feelings for her now & i can honestly say ive never experienced anything like this before....should i email her to just stop all theses messages as i get the feeling they will go on forever ?
Eddie Edirol Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Dont answer her no matter what she says. This will keep you from doing that, as its my best theory for this situation. She got distant with you because she saw a new guy she either wanted to start dating, or did start dating. She thought she had him when she dumped you. But it didnt work out, and thats why she called you back wanting to work it out, because she doesnt want to be alone. She doesnt really want to be with you, she just doesnt want to be alone. She keeps calling when she FEELS like she wants to give it a try, but she doesnt really want it, then chenges her mind, and thats why she doesnt respond to your calls. So its not mind games, its that she doesnt want to be with you, but she doesnt want to be alone. What she also could be doing is this: When you go N/C, it screws up her head, wondering if youre moving on before she is. usually people are content knowing that the person they dumped is still waiting for them. When you dont contact her, she panics and doesnt want to think youre moving on, so she calls you to reel you back in. Even if you did get back with her, she'd just dump you again, because whatever mystery reason she dumped you probably wasnt changed for the better in her mind. So theres no reason to answer her calls, especially if she is doing all this. use this to permanently lose feelings for her.
Author billythefish Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 thanks for your reply eddie...i was suspicious that there might be another guy she took a shine to as the end seemed so quick...back to hardcore N/C it is then...im really starting to dislike her now & your theory is excellent as are others on this sight & they have been a great help as i have went from heartbroken to dont care in a short space of time
TheDovic Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 She's DEFINITLEY playing games! It's probably because you didn't beg or plead with her so she's trying to get a reaction from you for an ego boost. Wouldn't worry about feeling stupid though dude, you're only human!
silly_panda Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Just ignore her... She will stop after a while...
Author billythefish Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 (edited) i would never beg or plead...i just let her go as it was her choice to end things...i wont be responding to her again & will have to look out for any tricks...why o why do people do this ? ..if its over then its over...thanks again everyone...ive actualy calmed down now Edited October 5, 2011 by billythefish
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