NickT Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 I sent my ex an email yesterday,i told her i want my ring back as why would she want to keep it if she doesnt want anything to do with me. I got a reply today saying i can have it back if i want and that she doesnt hate me or not want anything to do with me,but its easier for me if we dont see each other. I was hoping to hear something different and its showed me that she really doesnt have feelings for me anymore.It hurts so bad!! I sent her a reply saying what she has done to me is horrible and that i cant believe how immature and selfish she has been.Told her i need a talk as need to know everything to settle my mind. Dont know what she will say to that but i really need to know what shes feeling.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 i wouldnt have wrote an email...i wouldve spoken to her in person or over the phone atleast. well im kind of tempted to write an email now. Thanks.
Author NickT Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 I know,im not sure if it was the right thing to do.My stomach is churning now with worry,as ive been told she probably wont talk to me face to face. I just dont understand how her feelings can change just like that after 3 years.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 Originally posted by NickT I know,im not sure if it was the right thing to do.My stomach is churning now with worry,as ive been told she probably wont talk to me face to face. I just dont understand how her feelings can change just like that after 3 years. trust me i feel the same...see the thing i dont get is he just straight up dumped me and not tried to make stuff work..but he was with his ex for 2 1/2 years..but didnt try with me...maybe he has a plan or something. I just dont get it. He said he "fell " out of love..you dont really fall out of love..it only takes a spark to restart the flame
Author NickT Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 Thats exactly the same as me,i dont understand why she didnt explain her feelings when she first knew so we could work on it together.After all,isnt it worth it after 3 years? She has really bad communication problems and always bottles her problems up which is no good to me.Ive been so paranoid,thinking shes been seeing someone else,i need to clear my mind.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 Originally posted by NickT Thats exactly the same as me,i dont understand why she didnt explain her feelings when she first knew so we could work on it together.After all,isnt it worth it after 3 years? She has really bad communication problems and always bottles her problems up which is no good to me.Ive been so paranoid,thinking shes been seeing someone else,i need to clear my mind. yea same way here...i always bottled up my emotions..and when i let them out...hell would break loose. And plus we never did communicate that well
Author NickT Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 Its not good to bottle emotions as you need to communicate in a relationship.How can it work if you dont speak your mind.Have you had many similar relationships in the past?
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 Originally posted by NickT Its not good to bottle emotions as you need to communicate in a relationship.How can it work if you dont speak your mind.Have you had many similar relationships in the past? nope..this was the only one that i did it too and i dont know why..i guess i was afraid to say what was on my mind. Now i know not to. but i still want him back..my friend called me last night cause she wants her ex back too and she was crying so much and she made me cry..ahh i hate when that happens
Author NickT Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 Ive been through so many emotions this past week,sadness,anger,confusion,paranoia etc.Im constantly looking for that little sign of hope,i check my phone for a text everynow and again.I sit here,waiting to see if she comes online,even though i dont speak to her.I know i shouldnt but its nice to see her name highlighted on the screen.I keep hoping she will say that shes made a mistake and that she wants me back,but i dont think it will happen.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 Originally posted by NickT Ive been through so many emotions this past week,sadness,anger,confusion,paranoia etc.Im constantly looking for that little sign of hope,i check my phone for a text everynow and again.I sit here,waiting to see if she comes online,even though i dont speak to her.I know i shouldnt but its nice to see her name highlighted on the screen.I keep hoping she will say that shes made a mistake and that she wants me back,but i dont think it will happen. i do the same thing...i would sit here and hope that who ever called would be him and id constantly sit here and think about him and dream about him..it didnt do me any good. But i still know that he'll come back..just not right now
Author NickT Posted May 12, 2004 Author Posted May 12, 2004 Well,she is online right now and hasnt replied to my email. Ive had a really hard past 24 hrs,i cant stop thinking about her,all the good times are flooding my mind. I remember,while we were away 3 weeks ago,we were sat in a bar and she was going on about how hard it is to keep all her friends happy.How you only seem to concentrate on certain ones.She has this friend who bugs her to go round,even when she says no,this friend tells her that she never goes to see her anymore.Im sure my ex went to talk to this girl about her feelings and im wondering if she has poisoned her mind because she can now start to spend time with her again.I know im looking for lifelines but i cant stop asking myself why? I was talking to my mother lastnight and she was telling me that she has gone through lots of rough patches with my dad,where she cant stand the thought of him etc.She said it happens all the time but you get through it.I just wish my ex would realise that and give it a shot.She seems to be avoiding confrontation.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by NickT Well,she is online right now and hasnt replied to my email. Ive had a really hard past 24 hrs,i cant stop thinking about her,all the good times are flooding my mind. I remember,while we were away 3 weeks ago,we were sat in a bar and she was going on about how hard it is to keep all her friends happy.How you only seem to concentrate on certain ones.She has this friend who bugs her to go round,even when she says no,this friend tells her that she never goes to see her anymore.Im sure my ex went to talk to this girl about her feelings and im wondering if she has poisoned her mind because she can now start to spend time with her again.I know im looking for lifelines but i cant stop asking myself why? I was talking to my mother lastnight and she was telling me that she has gone through lots of rough patches with my dad,where she cant stand the thought of him etc.She said it happens all the time but you get through it.I just wish my ex would realise that and give it a shot.She seems to be avoiding confrontation. yea i wish it would happen to me too...its just that you'll have to wait...but do other stuff to get her off your mind.
Jareddms Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by NickT Well,she is online right now and hasnt replied to my email. Ive had a really hard past 24 hrs,i cant stop thinking about her,all the good times are flooding my mind. I remember,while we were away 3 weeks ago,we were sat in a bar and she was going on about how hard it is to keep all her friends happy.How you only seem to concentrate on certain ones.She has this friend who bugs her to go round,even when she says no,this friend tells her that she never goes to see her anymore.Im sure my ex went to talk to this girl about her feelings and im wondering if she has poisoned her mind because she can now start to spend time with her again.I know im looking for lifelines but i cant stop asking myself why? I was talking to my mother lastnight and she was telling me that she has gone through lots of rough patches with my dad,where she cant stand the thought of him etc.She said it happens all the time but you get through it.I just wish my ex would realise that and give it a shot.She seems to be avoiding confrontation. To tell you the truth, I begged my ex fiance to take me back couple weeks ago I was crying and saying lets work it out and she said the spark is gone but she loves and care for me etc. Do you want someone to be with you out of pity? I mean right now both of our girls are not in love with us and we cant do anything about it, I mean we can try to work things out but if the other party have made up their mind and trust me on this, they didnt make up their mind couple days before my ex was planning this, i saw the signs she was distant, when i said i missed her, she would avoid saying it back etc. It hurts alot to think someone you love and care about dont feel the same way. What you need to do is make her want you back, dont send emails saying she was selfish etc forget about that just let her go out and enjoy her life and if you guys were meant to be then later on you will get back together when you are stronger. I am hoping that I will be a better person in many ways by the time I want to be in a relationship hopefully with her. So in the meantime I am working at getting to that goal. I am going on vacation, then when I come back, going back to school part-time and working out and also going out not to to be in a relationship but just to have fun for now. I know how you feel i wish i can turn back the time and she is there and I wished that she is with me and I always question myself what if I had done this or not say this but I remember I have done alot of good things for her and bad things too, but we are here and now and work with that.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by Jareddms To tell you the truth, I begged my ex fiance to take me back couple weeks ago I was crying and saying lets work it out and she said the spark is gone but she loves and care for me etc. Do you want someone to be with you out of pity? I mean right now both of our girls are not in love with us and we cant do anything about it, I mean we can try to work things out but if the other party have made up their mind and trust me on this, they didnt make up their mind couple days before my ex was planning this, i saw the signs she was distant, when i said i missed her, she would avoid saying it back etc. It hurts alot to think someone you love and care about dont feel the same way. What you need to do is make her want you back, dont send emails saying she was selfish etc forget about that just let her go out and enjoy her life and if you guys were meant to be then later on you will get back together when you are stronger. I am hoping that I will be a better person in many ways by the time I want to be in a relationship hopefully with her. So in the meantime I am working at getting to that goal. I am going on vacation, then when I come back, going back to school part-time and working out and also going out not to to be in a relationship but just to have fun for now. I know how you feel i wish i can turn back the time and she is there and I wished that she is with me and I always question myself what if I had done this or not say this but I remember I have done alot of good things for her and bad things too, but we are here and now and work with that. so true..
Author NickT Posted May 12, 2004 Author Posted May 12, 2004 Thanks for the advice. Thing is,i play pool for my county as she does also.We have a match once a month and one on sunday,do i talk to her or just keep my distance?
Samantha16 Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Keep your distance. Smile, say hi. But act like it doesn't bother you that she's there. don't stare at her. But don't be cold to her either. Just act as though you two are acquaintances. All you need to do is say hi. That's ALL! Act like you're having a good time, and act like you're over it, even if you're not. And in the worst case senario...if you see her flirting with someone else or whatever, don't make a scene. Let it happen. I did this to my ex. We got back together. He told me it killed him. He dumped ME, but i played it so cool. Either way, even if he didn't come back to me, I had my dignity. Even if YOU get dumped, it doesn't matter. You can always come out on top. And in the future, if she decides to come back, you have the upper hand. Hopefully you would say, "That's so sweet, but um...I'd rather not." Then take a swig of beer and walk off with some other girl. Oh god, writing about this is making ME want to be single again. After the heartache, and when you learn to play it cool, it's just so much fun and you forget all about them. Being single's the greatest.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by Samantha16 Keep your distance. Smile, say hi. But act like it doesn't bother you that she's there. don't stare at her. But don't be cold to her either. Just act as though you two are acquaintances. All you need to do is say hi. That's ALL! Act like you're having a good time, and act like you're over it, even if you're not. And in the worst case senario...if you see her flirting with someone else or whatever, don't make a scene. Let it happen. I did this to my ex. We got back together. He told me it killed him. He dumped ME, but i played it so cool. Either way, even if he didn't come back to me, I had my dignity. Even if YOU get dumped, it doesn't matter. You can always come out on top. And in the future, if she decides to come back, you have the upper hand. Hopefully you would say, "That's so sweet, but um...I'd rather not." Then take a swig of beer and walk off with some other girl. Oh god, writing about this is making ME want to be single again. After the heartache, and when you learn to play it cool, it's just so much fun and you forget all about them. Being single's the greatest. what was the excuse he gave you when he dumped you?
Samantha16 Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 No, nevermind, I don't know what I'm talking about with the thread business.
Samantha16 Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Just a few little fights. Then one big fight. Details are blurry, but basically he was sick of dealing of ****. But it wasn't even a big deal, every couple has conflicts. He's just selfish sometimes.
Samantha16 Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 As soon as she realises you don't care, (like for example, she knows you do now because of the e-mail) but soon as she sees that you DON'T care, she will care. Even if she doesn't try to get back with you, she will take notice and it will make something stir inside of her. But for as long as she knows you care, she has the upper hand. And when you're gone, and she see's that you're happy, she will be secretly having a stir of emotions. At least that's how selfish people work, and I think we're all a little selfish sometimes. I mean, really now, how many times do you get dumped by someone you love and say, "well, as long as they're happy..." Just don't expect her to come back, I'm just telling you to go out with dignity. And maybe you'll have that little piece of satisfaction when you catch her looking at you, or giving your new fling dirty looks.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by Samantha16 Just a few little fights. Then one big fight. Details are blurry, but basically he was sick of dealing of ****. But it wasn't even a big deal, every couple has conflicts. He's just selfish sometimes. hmm kind of sounds like my situation lol...well who came back to whom and how did it happen?
AnBeLa Posted May 16, 2004 Posted May 16, 2004 keep your distance. this will do one of three things a) help you avoid emotional distress b)show her that you don't want to be confrontational (which might be what she is avoiding) or the long shot...c) have a good time w/o talking to her and she might realize your on your way to being over it. this could prompt her to speak to you. let her initiate conversation and keep it simple if she does. mention things that you are doing w/o her. sometimes that is the kick in the butt that the x needs to realize they want to b with you. either way just try to do things to enjoy yourself.
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