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my girlfriends past haunts me and I feel Im missing out


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Posted
au contraire, that's EXACTLY why it relates to you...you are insecure and feel like you can't live up..

 

her sexual past is just that - her PAST. at least she only did something in the past, before you - whereas you are destroying the relationship right now in the present...

 

Okay this is probably just down to you not really knowing the whole situation but of course its impossible that you do. Firstly Its not that Im unsuccessful with woman its just I havnt had time. When youre 16 17 18 years old youre at school all the time you live with youre parents you dont have time for things like that, to meet new people. From the age of 18 to 22 youre either in college or university where you have more chances than ever to meet people, or you travel, again a big chance to meet people and experience new things.

 

One thing for certain and both her and I agree is that from the age of 19 she has DEFINATELY been more insecure and unconfident than I have ever been. So I still disagree that your posts arent relevant.

Posted

then why else are you so hung up on her sexual past? :confused:

  • Author
Posted
then why else are you so hung up on her sexual past? :confused:

 

Well considering I wish I was able to have what she had but ALSO have eachother could mean im jealous coz thats what she has had. I go through phases where Im completely fine with it and could literally think of her having sex with someone else and be fine, but I always end up thinking of it again somehow

Posted
so, you guys want an experienced sex kitten that is wild and uninhibited in bed on the one hand, and an untouched virgin on the other ... makes no sense...:confused:

:cool:

 

Don't take it to the extreme of guys wanting an untouched virgin. Also a girl does not have to have sex with more guys than birthdays to learn to be wild and uninhibited in bed nor does she have to bang a series of rock musicians, record producers, djs, UFC lookalikes, guys in unform, surfer dudes, dealers and druggies, footballers, ski instructors, yuppies, fitness instructors, 6'2+ guys, body builders, black guys, barmen, narcissistic douchbags, etc, to learn the moves in bed to turn on a guy.

Posted

there is this song that says... we were not born till the day we met.

 

if its in the past than really ... why even ask these questions if you cant handle them.....

 

I did it once... didnt like the answear.. and you knwo what.. JUST PUT IT OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!!!!! LIKE OUT!!!! ... cause it didnt matter....

 

Just be glad she is amaziing and bed and loves you ...

Posted
because someone's sexual history does not define their worth.

 

there's always multiple ways of looking at things as well...

 

pros and cons to everything.

 

Weren't you the one who said you wouldn't date a guy whose been with a prostitute :lmao:

 

OP, I say unless this girl is really amazing, dump her. I would never be with a girl whose slept with more men than her age. That is just vile. Lord knows how many STD's and abortions have come and gone with those men. :sick:

Posted
so, you guys want an experienced sex kitten that is wild and uninhibited in bed on the one hand, and an untouched virgin on the other ... makes no sense...:confused:

 

read the bolded part from this awesome thread:

 

 

 

:cool:

 

I don't actually.

 

And for the guy who said 'women must get confused with us, we wank over sluts in porn but if they be sluts for us we call them sluts' -- being a slut for your boyfriend is one thing, being a slut for 26 men over the space of a few years is another.

Posted

Its all in the "past" until someone gets a STD. Yea. Screw you guys who say the past is the past. I speak strictly for the health and mental concerns. If you have a having something. Not willing to take those risks..

 

Ah who am i kidding. I love whores. Not male whores mind you. but seriously that is something that would concern me. STDs. And living the wild life aint that great. Its an empty fulfillment. Seriously.

 

And i believe someone brought the past is the past thing already. There are major flaws with people who sleep around. Not even trying to be funny. I don't completely understand women so i wont comment on them so Ill speak on the guys. All of the wild guys. They're all cheaters, and/or users. Not even funny. Like one guy said. He reached a point where having different women is like driving different cars. One week he drives a Chevy. The next he wants a Mercedes. But yea i think im a bit off subject.

 

OP i dont understand your feelings. Cause i love a freak girl

Posted
Its all in the "past" until someone gets a STD. Yea. Screw you guys who say the past is the past. I speak strictly for the health and mental concerns. If you have a having something. Not willing to take those risks..

 

Ah who am i kidding. I love whores. Not male whores mind you. but seriously that is something that would concern me. STDs. And living the wild life aint that great. Its an empty fulfillment. Seriously.

 

And i believe someone brought the past is the past thing already. There are major flaws with people who sleep around. Not even trying to be funny. I don't completely understand women so i wont comment on them so Ill speak on the guys. All of the wild guys. They're all cheaters, and/or users. Not even funny. Like one guy said. He reached a point where having different women is like driving different cars. One week he drives a Chevy. The next he wants a Mercedes. But yea i think im a bit off subject.

 

OP i dont understand your feelings. Cause i love a freak girl

 

The more people you sleep with, the harder it is to be loyal when you find 'the one'.

Posted
She's with you now isn't she? Don't think about her past. You're letting something that no longer exists harm something that does - your current relationship with her.

This is terrible advice. A leopard never changes its spot...and neither does a cheater. This woman cheated, enabled others to cheap, and has basically been a big time slut for much of her post-puberty life. She may be content with the OP for now, but it won't last.

 

OP, it sounds like you are young and a bit naive. What you've got yourself is a woman of questionable morals who's been slutting overtime for the last several years. Don't be a fool to waste the best years of your life on her, only to be cheated on and heart-broken down the road. You will forever resent yourself for it.

Posted

Wow, lots of healthy attitudes about female sexuality up in here. :lmao:

 

The cheating thing is different though. If you're going to sever for anything, it should be that.

Posted
Weren't you the one who said you wouldn't date a guy whose been with a prostitute :lmao:

 

Lol?

 

Where? I think you're confusing me with someone else. I realize you've hostility towards me because you're probably short (and you've slept with prostitutes and you think I stated that I wouldn't date someone with that in their history now as well?)... but you're taking it just a bit too far...

 

Regardless, if I did state that somewhere (I really don't recall doing so and I'm not about to sift through my past posts to be certain but, you go ahead if you're really that bothered) --- that's STILL different than me thinking less of them as a human being. If you can't grasp that, I don't know what to say.

 

But I digress.

 

There's a few especially underdeveloped view points in this thread in regards to sexuality... quite the unfounded judgments... ones that probably cannot probably be changed over the internet, in this thread :p

Posted

But seriously, I don't get the jealousy/hangups if a girl is more experienced than you are.

 

If you're taking a karate class for the first time, who do you want teaching you - a black belt, or some other guy that started the class the same day you did?

Posted

Oh yeah, I missed "she cheated" and "used others for sex" parts.

 

Forget imbalance of experience, I'd be very wary of her by default. Anyways, it serves as more fodder to "it will not work out".

Posted

It all comes down that you're insecure. Get over it.

 

Trust me, sex with emotion is usually the best sex.

 

If you feel, that by bedding a lot of women will give you a sense of entitlement it won't, well at least not in the long run. From experience, sleeping around or even hooking up while fun at the time, can lead one to feel very empty at the end. Granted, you are able to acquire such women, then you'll just be frustrated. Even if you do you, its unlikely that you'll find a girl who exceeds your current gf in comparison. Recently, I even turned down sex on more than one occasion, just so that i don't deal with repercussions.

 

For instance, you worry about stds, pregnancy, drama(believe me), hurting other people. These factors may not apply to you, but it does to me.

 

But if you really want my advice, break-up with her. You don't deserve her. Besides these thoughts will linger, it's best that you learn for yourself.

Posted
Wow, lots of healthy attitudes about female sexuality up in here. :lmao:

 

The cheating thing is different though. If you're going to sever for anything, it should be that.

 

It's my attitude towards everyone actually, male or female. Don't try and play the sexist card.

 

But seriously, I don't get the jealousy/hangups if a girl is more experienced than you are.

If you're taking a karate class for the first time, who do you want teaching you - a black belt, or some other guy that started the class the same day you did?

 

*sigh*

 

If I can choose to not have sex until I find someone I want to actually be with, why should I not expect the same from my future partner? Stop trying to justify sluttiness please.

 

You saying it doesn't matter how many drugs someone has taken or how many people they've killed as well? If you're going to commit a murder, who would you want teaching you, the Washington sniper or Mother Theresa?

Posted
It all comes down that you're insecure. Get over it.

 

Trust me, sex with emotion is usually the best sex.

 

If you feel, that by bedding a lot of women will give you a sense of entitlement it won't, well at least not in the long run. From experience, sleeping around or even hooking up while fun at the time, can lead one to feel very empty at the end. Granted, you are able to acquire such women, then you'll just be frustrated. Even if you do you, its unlikely that you'll find a girl who exceeds your current gf in comparison. Recently, I even turned down sex on more than one occasion, just so that i don't deal with repercussions.

 

For instance, you worry about stds, pregnancy, drama(believe me), hurting other people. These factors may not apply to you, but it does to me.

 

But if you really want my advice, break-up with her. You don't deserve her. Besides these thoughts will linger, it's best that you learn for yourself.

 

So she's slept with all these men, some after only just meeting them and HE doesn't deserve HER? I cannot believe what I'm reading. OP don't listen to her bro.

Posted
So she's slept with all these men, some after only just meeting them and HE doesn't deserve HER? I cannot believe what I'm reading. OP don't listen to her bro.

 

 

lol I'm a dude, son. The amount of sexual partners doesn't equate someone's value. I would bet the OP would have it the other way around also.

 

I'm saying, He doesn't deserve Her. Because he's acting and/or thinking selfishly, immaturely, and insecurely. If someone breaks up with me for my sexual past (granted it wasn't personal to them), screw them, they don't deserve me. Just gotta look at it from both and equal sides, bro.

Posted

Not if this past involved cheating and using other people for sex. Then it's perfectly valid to break up just because of that.

Posted
lol I'm a dude, son. The amount of sexual partners doesn't equate someone's value. I would bet the OP would have it the other way around also.

 

I'm saying, He doesn't deserve Her. Because he's acting and/or thinking selfishly, immaturely, and insecurely. If someone breaks up with me for my sexual past (granted it wasn't personal to them), screw them, they don't deserve me. Just gotta look at it from both and equal sides, bro.

 

lol

 

I am equal. A man who sleeps with lots of women casually is a slut. A woman who does the same is a slut. I'm very equal. A lot of people moan about how women get unfairly labeled if they sleep around a lot but it's fine for men to do it, yet you are quick to imply I am sexist with my attitude to sex just because the person in question is female. You did not hear my views on men doing the same thing yet you said 'I see some people have healthy attitude's to female sexuality'. Maybe YOU should look at it from equal sides.

  • Author
Posted

Guys guys guys I appreciate your feedback but I think you're missing the point, I'm not beating her up over her past I'm just wondering if staying with her(which is amazing and I know I couldnt have a better future with anyone else) is worth missing out on alll the cool fun excitement of not only sex but new relationships and just having other girls. If it was just about sex i could visit a brothel! Maybe you guys could help me from your experience? Back when you were young and inexperienced an hadn't had much fun, if you had met a girl perfect for you and you knew deep down she was the perfect girl for you, would you want to give that up for 3, 4, 5 years of fun and excitement (but not special) and then probably settle down with a girl not as perfect as the one you given up, or would you stick with the relationship? Thanks

Posted
Guys guys guys I appreciate your feedback but I think you're missing the point, I'm not beating her up over her past I'm just wondering if staying with her(which is amazing and I know I couldnt have a better future with anyone else) is worth missing out on alll the cool fun excitement of not only sex but new relationships and just having other girls. If it was just about sex i could visit a brothel! Maybe you guys could help me from your experience? Back when you were young and inexperienced an hadn't had much fun, if you had met a girl perfect for you and you knew deep down she was the perfect girl for you, would you want to give that up for 3, 4, 5 years of fun and excitement (but not special) and then probably settle down with a girl not as perfect as the one you given up, or would you stick with the relationship? Thanks

 

There's no excitement. People who do that **** are never happy. I've had sexual encounters and been out all the time trying to get girls and most were when I was a young teenager and you're not missing much. The excitement of being with someone you love beats it every time.

Posted

Can you direct me, where and when I said that?

 

I do agree with that same thought. But I think you misinterpreted my post into attacking you. While I reread it, I see no basis where I implied you were sexist. I do believe its unfair that generally society rewards promiscuous men and punishes promiscuous women.

 

But what I do disagree with you is that, you seem to feel promiscuous people are labeled as sluts and generally judge them on that. But you can have your views and I'll have mine.

 

What I meant by both and equal sides is that, while the women's past does have some flaws. This dude obviously has some too, which is basis for her to leave him too.

 

lol

 

I am equal. A man who sleeps with lots of women casually is a slut. A woman who does the same is a slut. I'm very equal. A lot of people moan about how women get unfairly labeled if they sleep around a lot but it's fine for men to do it, yet you are quick to imply I am sexist with my attitude to sex just because the person in question is female. You did not hear my views on men doing the same thing yet you said 'I see some people have healthy attitude's to female sexuality'. Maybe YOU should look at it from equal sides.

Posted
There's no excitement. People who do that **** are never happy. I've had sexual encounters and been out all the time trying to get girls and most were when I was a young teenager and you're not missing much. The excitement of being with someone you love beats it every time.

 

 

He's right. If you're breaking up with her because you think it'll be so much fun hooking up or doing whatever with other females, you'll be sorely mistaken. Especially if she's good to you and you're happy. Go watch Hall Pass its something like that.

Posted
Can you direct me, where and when I said that?

I do agree with that same thought. But I think you misinterpreted my post into attacking you. While I reread it, I see no basis where I implied you were sexist. I do believe its unfair that generally society rewards promiscuous men and punishes promiscuous women.

 

But what I do disagree with you is that, you seem to feel promiscuous people are labeled as sluts and generally judge them on that. But you can have your views and I'll have mine.

 

What I meant by both and equal sides is that, while the women's past does have some flaws. This dude obviously has some too, which is basis for her to leave him too.

 

Ignore that post. It was another poster who also has no avatar and I got them confused with you because you replied to my post. I apologise, I got a bit carried away, sorry mate.

 

My the gist of my post rings true for me, that is what I think.

 

And I don't agree with the highlighted bit, as women can lead men on and nothing is said yet if a man does it he's a player, a jerk etc.

 

When you take everything into account I'd say both sexes are equally ridiculed, maybe even men are more ridiculed.

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