thatone Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 How though? Because other women think we're together...? yep, pretty much.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 How though? Because other women think we're together...? Thats one way. But if your hanging with the women that FZ'd you, and they are single, there are women that dont want to see you succeed in dating before they do, so they might block you somehow. If you go for yours, but they dont go for theirs because theyre afraid of rejection, they might try to sandbag you.
Author betterdeal Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 Thats one way. But if your hanging with the women that FZ'd you, and they are single, there are women that dont want to see you succeed in dating before they do, so they might block you somehow. If you go for yours, but they dont go for theirs because theyre afraid of rejection, they might try to sandbag you. And you do what in that circumstance, that's what matters. You can, for instance, tell her you're not her boyfriend and continue as you were.
ChessPieceFace Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 lol, ok. whatever you need to think go ahead. you are right about one thing, i don't try to be who i'm not. i'll be the same person on the first date as i will be on the 20th. that confidence thing again. If you're not trying to be who you're not, and you're having success, then you have innate woman-attracting qualities which you may or may not realize. Simple as that. I, on the other hand, do almost everything wrong with women as a matter of course. It took me a while to see it and realize it but it's there. It's what's been ingrained into me for whatever reason. There's no magical "confidence" switch for me where I can be myself, be confident and then get women. To a large extent, being understated and not having confidence is an actual part of who I am and an real part of my personality (IRL.) To get women I would have to consciously be someone very unlike me. That is where I am, it's a real situation and if it's not your situation, good for you.
East7 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) You are often mr Friend zone if.... 1. You have more female friends than male.(I'm talking a huge difference here, not 60/40) You are seen as "one of the girls" and put straight into the friend zone. Hetrosexual women do not want to date one of their girlfriends. I didn't have the time to read all the thread, but this isn't true for me. I have tons of female friends and having a girlfriend has never been a problem for me. Funny thing is that a few of female friends who weren't romantically interested in me, had casual sex with me and I have 'friendzoned' them as well. Some of them I just wanted to **** because I liked their butts but there was no romantic attraction. We are still friends today and I have no jealousy to see them with another guy. Men also may friendzone women It goes both ways. The benefit of having female friends is that they may introduce you to other girls that you might like. Many of my previous GF were introduced by common female friends. It is true that women love to share their concerns but they are also very patient when it comes to tell them your problems. They are also the most accurate advice when it comes to interpret other women's behavior. Edited September 22, 2011 by East7 1
Author betterdeal Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Sure, it's general advice. It won't apply for many men, but given that it was posted by a woman on a forum for men with Asperger's, I thought it helpful for men in a similar boat here. There's a difference between having lots of female friends and not having male friends, and a difference between being interested in lots women and have lots of female friends. The same applies in reverse, i.e. for women and their relationships with men and women. Some people have problems with their own gender as well as with the opposite gender. This probably isn't of much use to people with high emotional intelligence, but more for people who are more emotionally naive.
dispatch3d Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I really don't need to be told the definition of "friendship" I have many of them with men. I hold women to the same standards & they fail miserably every time. So I cease contact with them just the same as any male that doesn't meet my criteria for friendship. I'd really like to know exactly how my attitude or the way I approach women excuses them of telling me they want to be friends when they really just want to use me as an emotional tampon/atm/helper monkey/validation. what is it about the way I approach them that makes them want to use me? I don't understand how I am responsible for another person's actions. Also, first you say it's wrong for men to not want to be friends with women who turn us down for dates, now you are saying we are picking the wrong women to be friends with after we tell you about the horrible experiences from being just friends with women who turn us down for dating. I guess us men are damned if we do & damned if we don't & women are absolved of all poor behavior? I find it ridiculous that men can admit other men use women on these forums but women refuse to admit that women use men & default to the "both genders do it argument" and It somehow has to be the man's fault for a woman's poor behavior. why can't you just accept that women on the whole are attention whores? I know women that have a ton of orbiters they call "friends" and I know women that have no male friends at all. I do not know of many true platonic male/female friendships. I really don't. I mean this friendzone thing isn't even a real thing anyways. Its just some thing people made up to describe certain situations. What phineas describes I have seen. A ton of my friends, if I'm getting along well with a girl, will intentionally cock-block me. It's not nice, and probably not intentional. If you're wondering who has the biggest ego about relationships in any room, it's the girl. It's always the girl. This is just the way society has trained us, so just keep that in mind. If a girl is a bitch to you, then don't go being nice back because you're "friendzoned" or she's "hot". Tell her to **** off. Seriously, us men put up with more than enough **** from women because they are "better" than us. Just think about this. If me and a girl have an interaction, and the girl cries, then the guy is wrong. This is completely regardless of the interaction. However, if a guy has an issue with a girl, gets upset, and yells/cries/whatever, it's not guaranteed the girl is in the wrong. The guy might just be an *******. Same situation, but two different results. Guys really just need to keep that in mind when dealing with women.
phineas Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I mean this friendzone thing isn't even a real thing anyways. Its just some thing people made up to describe certain situations. . It's a situation where someone stays friends with someone else in hopes they will realize their what they've been looking for all along. I personally have learned to just move on & find someone else. others just can't seem to do that.
Author betterdeal Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 It's a situation where someone stays friends with someone else in hopes they will realize their what they've been looking for all along. Worse than that, it's being a wet mop because you either missed the moment or there was no moment to begin with. If you don't to the wet mop routine, you have a great chance of something good with either someone else or the first chick. Being able to bounce back and accept change is liked by lots of people - why? Because, in part, just because you have sex or more for a while doesn't mean it will last forever, so if it doesn't work out the end will not be you moping around forever and there's a good chance you can be friendly too, so there not so much at risk. Basically, you're emotionally stable and self-sufficient if you don't friend-zone yourself.
carhill Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Not gonna read this whole huge thread, but I'll put in my 2 cents There is no friendzone unless possibly you are a coworker, sibling of friend, friend of an ex, sibling of an ex, etc When a girl says I only think of you as a friend, it is code for them saying they arent attracted enough to you physically and/or persoanlity wise to date you. There is no magical time limit to where you must ask a girl out (short of another guy doing it first) and Ive seend plenty of relationships start from long friendships (my best relationship ever being one). That's a really good point (the bolded) and one which I've neglected to address. I've never been or felt 'friend-zoned' by any woman who straight-up told me that she thinks/feels of me like a friend or doesn't find me attractive but enjoys my company. That's straight-up honest communication and some of those women went on to be great real friends. The 'friend-zone' women are the masters of ambiguity. The are sexual; they flirt; they whisper terms of endearment, never letting on about their 'platonic' intentions overtly. It's 'maybe baby, just you and me'. This is one of the elemental reasons for my 'dickinsider' approach to relationships with women subsequent to all those wonderful learning experiences.
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