thatone Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Yep, it's all about the lie of "confidence" which is actually a euphemism for "dominance", nothing more than a base, animal behavior. You win no points with me for bragging about this (actually you lose them.) which is your way of trying to manufacture confidence in your own mind (by dismissing others). my method of maintaining mine is not giving a sh*t. so we agree then?
Casablanca Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Not gonna read this whole huge thread, but I'll put in my 2 cents There is no friendzone unless possibly you are a coworker, sibling of friend, friend of an ex, sibling of an ex, etc When a girl says I only think of you as a friend, it is code for them saying they arent attracted enough to you physically and/or persoanlity wise to date you. There is no magical time limit to where you must ask a girl out (short of another guy doing it first) and Ive seend plenty of relationships start from long friendships (my best relationship ever being one).
USMCHokie Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I have plenty of female friends. I don't expect more from them, and they trust that I don't have an ulterior motive, because I truly don't. They don't bullsh*t me and I don't bullsh*t them. Perhaps you should consider the quality of these women in question. Or take a good look at yourself. If you refuse to respect them, then friendship is impossible. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I have plenty of female friends. I don't expect more from them, and they trust that I don't have an ulterior motive, because I truly don't. They don't bullsh*t me and I don't bullsh*t them. Perhaps you should consider the quality of these women in question. Or take a good look at yourself. If you refuse to respect them, then friendship is impossible. If these women are truly your friends, they must wish you well, right? If so, why don't they help you find a girlfriend (which, having read your other posts, is obviously something you haven't had much success with on your own)? Surely they have some single female friends?
USMCHokie Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 If these women are truly your friends, they must wish you well, right? If so, why don't they help you find a girlfriend (which, having read your other posts, is obviously something you haven't had much success with on your own)? Surely they have some single female friends? Of course they wish me well. They don't help me find a girlfriend because I don't ask them to...
carhill Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 An interesting feature of 'friend-zone' female friends versus healthy platonic female friends is that the data points I have had over the years markedly did not care for women and had few female friends (their words). With some, I saw evidence that those words were lies (over time) and, with others, truth. The reasons given ranged from 'gossipy' to 'cattiness' to 'untrustworthy' and that ilk. I recall asking more than one about 'single friends I could ask out' and the universal answer was, in various forms 'I don't have any'. After being married, and seeing better some of the healthy female-female friendships my ex-W had, I understood the psychology of the 'friend-zone' women better. Since, I've run into a few and, unlike earlier in life, the signs were crystal clear from the get-go, regardless if I was interested in dating them or just having a nice platonic friendship. Other posters in the thread enumerate those signs well. Now I just say 'no'. If the interaction isn't healthy, for whatever reason or sign, next.
ChessPieceFace Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 which is your way of trying to manufacture confidence in your own mind (by dismissing others). my method of maintaining mine is not giving a sh*t. so we agree then? No. You obviously are one of those guys who have no logical understanding of women, you just do enough right things by your unconscious nature that you have success.
Woggle Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 The female friends I have and I do have them are just like my guy friends. We hang out and are there for each other on a strictly platonic level. On the other hand I have friends over the years who seemed to just use me when they needed a man around. They called me when they needed help moving or needed to use me as leverage in a relationship or whatever else. I also found that when I got into a relationship they all of a sudden wanted to take me out of the friendzone. I can do without friends like that.
Feelsgoodman Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Of course they wish me well. They don't help me find a girlfriend because I don't ask them to... Women are not dumb. They know as well as you do that you have a major problem with meeting women. Yet they never tried to set you up with one of their friends. Food for thought.
thatone Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 No. You obviously are one of those guys who have no logical understanding of women, you just do enough right things by your unconscious nature that you have success. lol, ok. whatever you need to think go ahead. you are right about one thing, i don't try to be who i'm not. i'll be the same person on the first date as i will be on the 20th. that confidence thing again.
USMCHokie Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Women are not dumb. They know as well as you do that you have a major problem with meeting women. Yet they never tried to set you up with one of their friends. Food for thought. So what would you say this suggests?
phineas Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 So what would you say this suggests? It suggests they don't really want you to get a GF. Women on the whole don't like to see a man single. women at work, my sister's friends, my female cousins, my friends wive's friends, my friends sister's ect. you get the idea. All women in serious relationships. They are ALWAYS trying to play match maker with me. Hell, even my FWB was wing-manning for me out at bars. I've never had a platonic friend I hung out with try to hook me up with another woman or one of her many single friends & have had them cock-block me when I was talking to a woman I met while out at the bars. Hence why I have no female friends.
USMCHokie Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 It suggests they don't really want you to get a GF. I still don't quite understand how this makes them bad choices for friends...I don't know any of my guy friends who are trying to play matchmaker for me...still not sure where you all are going with this...are women supposed to ensure my relationship status...?
xxoo Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I still don't quite understand how this makes them bad choices for friends...I don't know any of my guy friends who are trying to play matchmaker for me...still not sure where you all are going with this...are women supposed to ensure my relationship status...? No, they needn't be matchmaker....but they also mustn't move in close and communicate "he's off limits" when out in places you could meet other women. Neutral is fine, but are they truly neutral? It is true that some women like the attention of many men, and don't want to share. Insecure and selfish.
Author betterdeal Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 So there's more than one type of personality ... in fact, there's millions. If someone cramps your style, ask them not to. Simple.
Feelsgoodman Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 So what would you say this suggests? Isn't it obvious?
USMCHokie Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Isn't it obvious? No....seriously...not sure where you're going with it...
thatone Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 No....seriously...not sure where you're going with it... that your female 'friends' hinder your ability to find women who aren't just friends. it's a fact.
Feelsgoodman Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 that your female 'friends' hinder your ability to find women who aren't just friends. it's a fact. This. (10 characters)
AH1990 Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 But a question to the women: Lets say you have no romantic interest in the guy in question. You tell him you like him as a friend. He doesn't want to be put into the FZ, and he says goodbye and wishes you well. But further on down the line you feel as though you lost out on something good with him. How do you handle that? Do you have more respect for him because he didn't act as your lap dog?
Author betterdeal Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 that your female 'friends' hinder your ability to find women who aren't just friends. it's a fact. Contradicted by other facts.
phineas Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I still don't quite understand how this makes them bad choices for friends...I don't know any of my guy friends who are trying to play matchmaker for me...still not sure where you all are going with this...are women supposed to ensure my relationship status...? let's go a different route, have you ever hit on a woman while hanging out with your female friends? Have they ever inturupted or bashed the chick after you got the digits?
USMCHokie Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 that your female 'friends' hinder your ability to find women who aren't just friends. it's a fact. How though? Because other women think we're together...?
USMCHokie Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 let's go a different route, have you ever hit on a woman while hanging out with your female friends? Have they ever inturupted or bashed the chick after you got the digits? Yes. Ask Erica. And no. Ask Erica.
phineas Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Yes. Ask Erica. And no. Ask Erica. Ok, i don't tolerate that from my male friends so i won't tolerate it from female friends. You tolerate that?
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