I am my worse enemy..betrayal is ripping me apart

[myvoice1]

I should have saw it coming but i was in denial. He always said he wouldnt leave until the children were older and i got comfortable. We were sleeping in different rooms and he was working really late. He told me it had nothing to do with me he just was going through things. We got into a fight one day before he left for work and he told me he was going to stay at a friends house. Tony, he said the friend was. He told me not to worry he wasnt with anyone else and for me not to be with anyone else. He said we neded time because we were fighting alot. I believed him. He was coming by on a regular basis but something was different. On July 15th we got into a fight because he said he didnt want to give me as much money as he had been. I told him to piss him off to take the kids and see if he could make it and he said he would. He said his girlfriend could watch him while he worked and he put her on the phone. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I am still crying. He hurt me so bad. We were together for 10 years. I had 3 children when i met him who were very young and we had a son together who is 8. Im going to admit i chased after him. i went to his job begging him to come home. She was even there one day. Oh, he met her at work. He's a carpenter and she would come to the job to bring her father lunch. He would come back tell me he loved me and leave. This has been going on up until last weekend. He told me to look for a new place in another state where we can start over and i did only for him to tell me and the kids that he didnt want to do it anymore. He hit me up on facebook only for me to see the girl and like 80 other girls he friended on facebook. Obvioulsy in the ten years he wasnt faithful for him to know so many girls. Many of them i didnt know. I need to get over this jerk because he obviously is just using me and im allowing it. He talks to me like im dirt. He has no respect from me. I have knowone because all our friends went to his side. I alone. I have knowone and im so lonely thats why i came to this site because all i do is cry. i dont want to go outside for fear of seeing someone we know who is going to ask or tell me something about him. If i can make new friends on here..great..if i can get help on how to get over this even better. I live in New Jersey, Bergen County.

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[allite]

its the things like this that dont make sense to me at all. Why cant people just enjoy what they have. Marriage with kids and people up and cheat and leave.

Although im too young to understand what your going through but i know it hurts to be betrayed. Some people just never change and he isnt worth going the rest of your life in pain. You have to focus on yourself and enjoy yourself.

[myvoice1]

i agree because this is not living. im crying all the time. i just need people to talk to because i am so alone. It's 6:22am. I havent slept. I dont want to go on like this. I dont go out. I've gained so much weight. Im going to move on starting today. He calls me yesterday telling me he loves me. I guess she wasnt around. Im starting to learn his game. I have to get better for my children. It's not healthy that they see me cry all the time and chasing after someone who obviously doesnt want me.

[Mack05]

I have to get better for my children..

 

Myvoice please get the book 'Getting past your breakup' (Susan J Elliott) ->

http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Breakup-ebook/dp/B0026A6C4U and check her website blog -> http://www.gettingpastyourbreakup.com.

 

Read the introduction to the book. It's so similar to your story above. She chronicles brilliantly in the book how she turned her life around after her husband left her and her kids. She describes crying as she is sprawled on her kitchen floor, unable to cope with the enormity of the situation. I know this book will help you greatly. I wish you well and I hope this website can give you some peace as it has given many.

[Adelais]

I'm so so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. Being betrayed by someone you love is heart rending. It sounds to me like you're someone with a great capacity to love and care for people though and that automatically puts you in a much stronger place than your ex. Stay strong, you will get through this.

[Adelais]

And ditto Mack's comment... Susan Elliott's book is amazing.